Let Kids Have Fun on the Sports Field

In the beloved movie, The Sandlot, there is a scene where Scotty Small’s mother encourages him to go make friends with the kids in his new neighborhood, rather than spend his summer by himself at home. Scotty takes his mother’s advice and tries his hand at playing baseball with them. Nervous and inexperienced, he promptly drops the ball. After that play, one of the kids, Benny Rodriguez, looks at Scotty and says, “Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun. If you were having fun, you would have caught that ball!”

Scotty then caught his first catch, and he was in with the neighborhood crew.

What if we, as parents, took the friend’s advice, stopped thinking, and allowed the kids space to just have fun?

The schedule and structure most of our kids operate under is one of high demand and pressure laced with endless expectations. Most of us, as adults, couldn't make it a day in their shoes. They are booked from sunup to sundown, without much time to even squeeze a family dinner in, let alone a pick-up game with neighborhood buddies at the park.

Today’s parents have a difficult time stepping to the side and letting kids just be kids. Recently, at a kids’ party, the kids were playing a pickup football game and one of the dads went over to the other parents and suggested they go referee it. Another parent said, “No, it looks like the kids are doing just what they should be doing and sorting it all out on their own.” Before you know it, the dad was on the sideline, yelling commands and directions.

Parental involvement contributes to the lack of confidence we are seeing, and in turn, the high anxiety and depression rates. Kids are not learning how to trust themselves from a young age, which limits their ability to make choices and put themselves in new situations, including trying a variety of sports.

We can change this. For most caregivers, all we want for our kids is for them to trust themselves and have a deep belief in themselves. The paradox is that parents have to back off. The $400 bats and private coaching lessons, on top of the thousands spent on travel leagues, aren’t what is going to produce an intrinsic belief in our kids.

What will? Benny Rodriguez’s other brilliant pointer, the relationship formed between him and Smalls, which led to him teaching Smalls how to throw a baseball. “Okay, well chuck it like you throw paper. When your arm gets here, just let go. Just let go, it’s that easy.”

I can attest, it is that easy for kids—if we just let go. My local community is a rarity, but kids play together in the park. It is where my son learned to throw a spiral football, from neighborhood friends, not from any of the leagues we have him enrolled in. This group of friends has formed a deep bond from their hours of unstructured play, out in the park, learning from one another, without any directions. I will never forget the day Camden strutted in the front door, as proud as I have ever seen him, and stated “Ben, Natalie, Owen, Jackson, and Henry just taught me how to throw a spiral!”

The hope is that kids love sports so much that they go to the park to play with buddies, they practice in the living room, they suit up in the garage, and make a mini arena in the backyard. The drive should be intrinsic, from the kids. The leagues, teams, and caregivers should cultivate that passion, and be a framework for learning.

The primary reason kids are drawn to sport, and what makes the sport fun: the bonds they form and the place of belonging they feel. What if instead, our mission became to prolong that short window, as long as possible for them, and get out of the kids' way, stop overcomplicating it, and allow space for them to just explore the infinite possibilities? The space to dream, and most importantly the opportunity to learn who they are in relationship to sports.

The kids get it. They know what to seek out, what is fun, and what feels fun. Free play allows space for kids to be able to negotiate the rules and organization with each other. To create the game with one another, and to make it a shared experience among themselves. This fosters their imagination, problem-solving, and youthful purity, which is far too fleeting.

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Will there be tears? Yes. Hurt feelings? Yes. Giggles galore? Yes. Name-calling? Yes. Endless growth and development? Absolutely.