How Compatible Are You?

What's In It For You?

By taking part in this exercise together, you will have an
opportunity to compare how each of you sees yourself with how your
partner sees you. The similarities you find will confirm your areas of
agreement, while any differences should be treated as topics for
discussion. Keep in mind that such differences do not necessarily
represent a failing or an underlying weakness in your relationship.
Rather, they may simply reflect normal variations in style.

HOW TO TAKE THE TEST

Begin by cutting out the two identical pairs of scorecards, labeled
"Partner A" and "Partner B." Each of you should then take one set of
scorecards and mark your responses to the 35 statements, first for how
you view yourself and then for how your view your partner. Answer as
honestly as possible the extent to which you agree or disagree with each
statement as a description of how you see your own or your partner's
personality. In each case, marking the number in the far left-hand column
of the scorecard would mean that you strongly disagree with the
statement; marking the number in the far right-hand column means that
your strongly agree. You may, or course, mark any number in between those
two poles, indicating varying degrees of agreement or disagreement. Mark
only one number per item on the scorecard.

The perceptions we have of other people both influence and are
influenced by the view we have of ourselves. This is especially true in
dose personal relationships, in which the partners reinforce and
challenge one another's perceptions on an ongoing basis. The closest
relationships often develop a transpersonal quality, in which the
partners move beyond their isolated sense of self and perceive themselves
as part of an integrated whole. Each may feel that the relationship is an
essential part of his or her identity. Being able to experience this
expanded sense of self without sacrificing individuality is one sign of a
healthy relationship.

In healthy relationships, partners do not always see eye-to-eye on
every issue, but are able to communicate openly about their areas of
disagreement, which may include their perceptions of each other. For
example, your partner may see something in you that you do not recognize
in yourself. He or she may overlook important aspects of your
personality, perhaps because you rarely express those sides of yourself.
In addition, each of you is likely to interpret some aspects of your
partner's personality within the context of your own personal biases and
self-perceptions. If you see yourself as very shy, for instance, you may
view your partner as an outgoing person by comparison.

To help you explore the perceptions that you and a selected partner
have of each other, we present Part Three of the PT/Berkeley Personality
Profile, which focuses on the way you and a partner see your own and one
another's personality. This partner may be someone with whom you are
romantically involved, or simply a close personal friend. If you
participated in Parts One and Two of the test, you will be able to easily
compare your results in this questionnaire with your earlier
results.

A word of caution: The PT/Berkeley Personality Profile is not
intended as a means of assessing the state of your mental health and does
not provide any form of psychotherapy or couples therapy. We urge those
who are experiencing serious relationship problems to check with
qualified professionals.

This test Lists 35 statements that can be used to describe your
personality from a variety of perspectives. On each scorecard, honestly
rate the extent to which you agree that each statement applies to your or
your partner.

A = 1 - Disagree Strongly

2 - Disagree A Little

3 - Neither Agree nor Disagree

4 - Agree A Little

5 - Agree Strongly

B = 5 - Disagree Strongly

4 - Disagree a Little

3 - Neither Agree nor Disagree

4 - Agree A Little

5 - Agree Strongly

1. Is outgoing, sociable. A

2. Tends to find fault with others. B

3. Is a reliable worker. A

4. Remains calm in tense situations. B

5. Values artistic, aesthetic experiences A

6. Is reserved. B

7. Is considerate and kind to almost everyone. A

8. Can be somewhat careless. B

9. Is relaxed and handles stress well. B

10. Prefers work that is routine and simple B

11. Is full of energy. A

12. Can be cold and aloof. B

13. Does things efficiently. A

14. Gets nervous easily. A

15. Has an active imagination. A

16. Is sometimes shy, inhibited. B

17. Likes to cooperate with others. A

18. Tends to be disorganized. B

19. Is emotionally stable, not easily upset. B

20. Prefers the conventional, traditional. B

21. Is talkative. A

22. Is sometimes rude to others. B

23. Does a thorough job. A

24. Is depressed, blue. A

25. Is sophisticated in art, music, or literature. A

26. Tends to be quiet. B

27. Is generally trusting. A

28. Is lazy at times. B

29. Worries a lot. A

30. Wants things to be simple and clear-cut. B

31. Generates a lot of enthusiasm. A

32. Has a forgiving nature. A

33. Is easily distracted. B

34. Can be tense. A

35. Is inventive. A

COMPUTING YOUR SCORES: Partner A: Beginning with Scorecard #1, add
together all be numbers you marked for the orange colored responses and
enter the score In the corresponding orange space in the top row of the
chart marked Partner A Scoring Guide on page 73. Do the same for the
green, yellow, red, and blue responses. These am your Self Image Scares.
Follow the same procedure for Scorecard #4 and enter the numbers in the
middle row of the same chart These are your Partner's Description Scores.
Now subtract the lower score from the higher for each color and enter the
difference in the bottom row. (Circle "S" it your Self-image Score was
higher, "P" if your Partner's Description Score was higher.) Then are
your Self-Part. nor Difference Scores. Partner B: Follow the same
procedure, entering your answers from Scorecard #3 in the top row of the
chart marked Partner B Scoring Guide; and from Scorecard #2 in the middle
row. Then subtract the lower score from the higher and enter in the
bottom row.

TO INTERPRET YOUR SCORES:

Look up your Self Image Scores according to the three
Interpretation Guide charts on page 74. Then refer to your Self-Partner
Difference Scores for each color category. Match the colors shown above
to those In the chart.

Partner "A" Scoring Guide

For each color, subract the smaller from the larger score. These ar
eyour Self-Partner Difference Scores.

Partner "B" Scoring Guide (same as above)

The PT/Berkeley Transpersonal Profile:

Interpretation Guide

Self-Image Score 7-14

Self-partner differences

EXPRESSIVE STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that you are quiet,

inner-directed, and socially restrained.

8 - 13: You see yourself as rather quiet and reserved. Your

partner also sees you as inner-directed, but as slightly

more outgoing than you see yourself.

14 - 20: You see yourself as quiet and reserved, but your
partner

sees you as more outgoing and energetic.

21 - 28: You see yourself as quiet, reserved, or
unenergetic.

Your partner sees you as more socially active, outgoing,

and enthusiastic.

INTERPERSONAL STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that you can be difficult
or

self-protective at times.

8 - 13: You see yourself as rather self-protective,

self-absorbed, or hard to get along with at times. Your

partner sees you as somewhat more warm and giving.

14 - 20: You see yourself as rather self-protective, self-

absorbed, or hard to get along with at times. Your

partner sees your as considerably more caring and warm.

21 - 28: You see yourself as rather self-protective, self-

absorbed, or hard to get along with at times. Your

partner sees your as very warm, understanding, and

considerate.

WORK STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that you take a casual

approach toward work.

8 - 13: You may have difficulty with schedules and
commitments,

but your partner sees you as more responsible than you

think you are.

14 - 20: You see yourself as fairly casual about work, but
your

partner sees you as quite dedicated and serious.

21 - 28: You see yourself as fairly casual about work, but
your

partner sees you as unusually hard-working and

conscientious.

EMOTIONAL STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that your are very calm
and

handle stress well.

8 - 13: You see yourself as even-tempered; your partner sees
you

as a little more anxious or emotional than you think you

are.

14 - 20: You see yourself as calm and even-tempered; your
partner

sees you as somewhat more temperamental or vulnerable.

21 -18: You see yourself as calm and secure; your partner
sees

you as more emotional or affected by worries and

anxieties.

INTELLECTUAL STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that you are traditional
in

your views and approach.

8 - 13: You feel that you are generally conservative and

P traditional; your partner sees you as a bit more open to

new experiences.

14 - 20: You feel that you are generally conservative and

traditional; your partner sees you as much more open to

new ideas.

21 - 28: You feel that you are generally conservative and

traditional; your partner sees you as very interested in

new ideas in a variety or areas.

Self-Image Score 15 - 27

Self-partner difference

EXPRESSIVE STYLE

0 - 10: You and your partner agree that you are moderately

outgoing and assertive.

11 - 28: You see yourself as moderately active and
enthusiastic,

but your partner sees you as more talkative and outgoing.

11 - 28: You see yourself as moderately active and
enthusiastic,

but your partner sees you as more inner-directed

11 - 28: Although you see yourself as moderately sociable
and

expressive, your partner sees you as much more outgoing

and assertive.

11 - 28: Although you see yourself as moderately sociable
and

expressive, your partner sees you as much more quiet and

inner-directed.

INTERPERSONAL STYLE

0 - 10: You and your partner agree that you are caring and

cooperative, but not selfless.

11 - 28: You see yourself as generally caring and
cooperative.

Your partner sees you as a bit more thoughtful and

giving.

11 - 28: You and your partner agree that you are easy to get
along

with, although you see yourself as slightly more

thoughtful.

11 - 28: You feel that you are generally thoughtful and easy
to

get along. Your partner sees you as more caring and

self-sacrificing.

11 - 28: You feel that you are generally thoughtful and easy
to

get along with, but your partner sees you as sometimes

too self-absorbed.

WORK STYLE

0 - 10: You and your partner agree that you meet your goals
and

responsibilities.

11 - 28: You see yourself as moderately responsible and

hard-working, but your partner sees you as more dedicated

and serious.

11 - 28: You see yourself as moderately responsible and

hard-working, but your partner sees you as less focused

on goals and responsibilities.

11 - 28: You see yourself as moderately responsible and

hard-working, but your partner sees you as unusually

hard-working and conscientious.

11 - 28: You see yourself as moderately responsible and

hard-working, but your partner sees you as much more

casual about work.

EMOTIONAL STYLE

0 - 10: You and your partner agree that you are somewhat

emotional or affected by stress.

11 - 28: You see yourself as generally stable and able to
handle

stress without repressing your feelings. Your partner

sees you as a little more emotional.

11 - 28: You see yourself as generally stable and able to
handle

stress without repressing your feelings. Your partner

sees you as even a little calmer.

INTELLECTUAL STYLE

0 - 10: You and your partner agree that you are open to new
ideas

in some areas.

11 - 28: You see yourself as open to some new ideas while at
other

times preferring the traditional. Your partner described

you as more open to new things.

Self-Image Score 28 - 35

Self-partner difference

EXPRESSIVE STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that you are very
sociable,

energetic, or adventurous.

8 - 13 : You see yourself as very active, enthusiastic, and

sociable, but your partner sees you as more quiet and

reserved.

14 - 20: You see yourself as very active, enthusiastic, and

sociable, but your partner sees you as somewhat reserved

and restrained.

21 - 28: Although you see yourself as very active and
adventurous,

your partner sees you as much more reserved and

inner-directed.

INTERPERSONAL STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that your are very kind,

caring and considerate.

8 - 13 : You and your partner agree that you are caring as

helpful. Your see yourself as somewhat more patient or

giving.

14 - 20: You see yourself as caring and helpful, but your
partner

sees you as sometimes difficult and less patient.

21 - 28: You see yourself as a very caring person, but your

partner sees you as sometimes argumentative or

preoccupied with your own problems.

WORK STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that you are very
responsible,

and hard-working.

8 - 13 : You see yourself as unusually hard-working and

responsible. Your partner sees you as a little less

focused.

14 - 20: You see yourself as unusually hard-working and

responsible, but your partner sees you as moderately less

focused.

21 - 28: You see yourself as unusually hard-working and

responsible, but your partner sees you as much less

focused and goal-oriented.

EMOTIONAL STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that you are very
emotional.

8 - 13 : You feel you are very emotional, perhaps highly
reactive

to stress. Your partner sees you as somewhat more in

control.

14 - 20: You feel you are very emotional, perhaps highly
reactive

to stress. Your partner sees you as more stable and

controlled.

21 - 28: You feel you are very emotional, perhaps highly
reactive

to stress. Your partner sees you as very even-tempered

and calm under stress.

INTELLECTUAL STYLE

0 - 7: You and your partner agree that you are quite
open-minded

and unconventional.

8 - 13 : You see yourself as quite receptive to new ideas
and

possibilities. Your partner sees you as a little more

traditional.

14 - 20: You see yourself as quite receptive to new ideas
and

possibilities. Your partner sees you as more rooted in

traditional ideas and values.

21 - 28: You see yourself as quite receptive to new ideas
and

possibilities. Your partner see you as much more

conservative and bound to tradition.

The PT/Berkeley Personality And Relationship Survey

Psychology Today would like to include your results in our
Personality Survey Results will be analyzed by test designers Eileen
Donahue, Ph.D., and Keith Harary. Ph.D.. in cooperation with Oliver R
John, Ph.D. of the University of California at Berkeley and reported in
an upcoming issue of PT. Please return all five completed scorecards.
along with the survey form below to: PT Profile Survey 11. Psychology
Today 24 E. 23rd St., 5th Floor, N.Y., N.Y. 10010.

Partner A Information

Date of Birth (month/year): .../... Gender: --Male --Female

Check all that apply: --Single --Married

--Divorced --Widowed --Remarried

Do you have children?: --Yes --No If yes, what ages? ....

Highest Education Level: --High School --Some college
--Bachelors

--Masters --Doctorate

Employment Status: --Full-Time --Part-Time

--Retired --Not Employed

Circle the best description of your occupation: Homemaker

Clerical/Service Work Executive/Administrative

Professional/Technical Tradesman/Machine Operator/Laborer

Student Sales Marketing/Administrative

Middle Management Self-Employed/Business Owner

Partner B Information

Date of Birth (month/year): .../... Gender: --Male --Female

Check all that apply: --Single --Married

--Divorced --Widowed --Remarried

Do you have children?: --Yes --No If yes, what ages? ....

Highest Education Level: --High School --Some college
--Bachelors

--Masters --Doctorate

Employment Status: --Full-Time --Part-Time

--Retired --Not Employed

Circle the best description of your occupation: Homemaker

Clerical/Service Work Executive/Administrative

Professional/Technical Tradesman/Machine Operator/Laborer

Student Sales Marketing/Administrative

Middle Management Self-Employed/Business Owner

Relationship Information

Nature and length of the relationship (check all that
apply):

--Friendship, since ../.. (month/year)

--Romantic Partners, since ../.. (month/year)

--Living together, since ../.. (month/year)

--Married, since ../.. (month/year)

Thank you for participating in Part 3 of the PT/Berkeley
Personality Survey. The following information will allow us to combine
your responses to this test with your responses to previous and future
tests in PSYCHOLOGY TODAY. Responses will be kept strictly
confidential.

Name and address (optional):