Ingrid Clayton Ph.D.

Compare and Despair

We can get swept up in comparisons, looking at other’s lives from the outside and wondering why we aren’t fortunate enough to live such a rich existence. We can compare ourselves to our own desires, believing that if we were “better” we might find happiness in our dreams coming true. How do we stop the comparing and despairing to discover happiness in the present?

We can get swept up in comparisons, looking at other’s lives from the outside and wondering why we aren’t fortunate enough to live such a rich existence. We can compare ourselves to our own desires, believing that if we were “better” we might find happiness in our dreams coming true. How do we stop the comparing and despairing to discover happiness in the present?

Being Present

There is often so much clutter standing in the way of the present moment. Although the clutter is in fact happening in the present, and could be defined as “present,” in a spiritual context—the present actually resides underneath the clutter. It’s likened to the clear water that exists beneath the thin layer of scum on the surface of the pond.

There is often so much clutter standing in the way of the present moment. Although the clutter is in fact happening in the present, and could be defined as “present,” in a spiritual context—the present actually resides underneath the clutter. It’s likened to the clear water that exists beneath the thin layer of scum on the surface of the pond.

Are You the Villain or Victor of Your Life?

So many times, when we want our lives to change, we only want things on the outside to change. But for real change to occur, we have to change. The obstacles are vehicles for change. They are necessary. They are perfect. They are not signals that you're doing something wrong, they are actually stepping-stones to your own freedom.

So many times, when we want our lives to change, we only want things on the outside to change. But for real change to occur, we have to change. The obstacles are vehicles for change. They are necessary. They are perfect. They are not signals that you're doing something wrong, they are actually stepping-stones to your own freedom.

The Illusion of Control

No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we shouldn’t be having a particular response—it doesn’t remove the underlying emotional experience. What it does create is a large gap between what you are telling yourself and what you are actually feeling. The dissonance between the two creates so much tension that we often end up acting in self-destructive ways.

No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we shouldn’t be having a particular response—it doesn’t remove the underlying emotional experience. What it does create is a large gap between what you are telling yourself and what you are actually feeling. The dissonance between the two creates so much tension that we often end up acting in self-destructive ways.

The Secret to Serenity

There’s a saying that our serenity is inversely proportional to our expectations. In other words, the extent of our entitlement or need for things to look a certain way determines the extent of our unhappiness. This makes sense for the simple fact that when we focus on what we don’t have, we feel distraught and disappointed.

There’s a saying that our serenity is inversely proportional to our expectations. In other words, the extent of our entitlement or need for things to look a certain way determines the extent of our unhappiness. This makes sense for the simple fact that when we focus on what we don’t have, we feel distraught and disappointed.

Being Open

Opening up to life and all it has to offer, without opportunities and adventures getting trampled on by fears of the unknown or what we think we know.

Opening up to life and all it has to offer, without opportunities and adventures getting trampled on by fears of the unknown or what we think we know.

Authenticity Unplugged

Can you remember a distinct, personal and private moment from your past? One where you felt connected to yourself, your purpose, or your essential nature?

Can you remember a distinct, personal and private moment from your past? One where you felt connected to yourself, your purpose, or your essential nature?