Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Trauma

Well-Being Is Inherently Holistic

A Personal Perspective: Succeeding in one ‎area does not mean success in others.

The University of Miami shared a profile about ‎an Afghan émigré, Zakera Azizi, who fled from ‎Afghanistan to receive an education in the United States. ‎‎“I’ve started from zero several times before in my life,” ‎Zakera said. “For now, I need to study hard and earn this ‎degree. I just want to work and live my life, yet even from ‎here, I can help the women in Afghanistan who are under ‎threat. I can help by advocating for them.” Zakera is a zero-generation student because she, to use her own words, has ‎to start from “zero.” ‎

I was working at the University of Miami and met with ‎Zakera, who was struggling to adjust to the cultural ‎landscape of the university. Zakera graduated from Miami ‎Herbert Business School with a prestigious degree. From the outside, ‎Zakera’s life might appear successful. But from the inside, ‎we can see complications, especially as the situation in ‎Afghanistan has worsened recently. Success in one area of life does not ‎translate to success in other areas.

When I met with the University of Minnesota professor Patricia ‎Frazier, whose Stress and Trauma Lab investigates the ‎effects of stress and trauma, she reminded me that ‎well-being is inherently holistic. Although students might ‎excel in one domain, such as outstanding academic ‎performance, they might struggle to foster ‎healthy relationships.

Zero-generation students immigrate from places swamped ‎by trauma and conflict. When they study at U.S. colleges and ‎universities, they may perform well academically. However, ‎that does not imply holistic well-being for zero-gen ‎students, as many struggle to relate with people in ‎meaningful ways. They struggle to foster genuine and ‎mutually beneficial connections. ‎Trauma induces stress, which often ‎translates into confusion. When people are under traumatic ‎stress, they struggle to leave favorable impressions on those ‎they meet. ‎

The science and art of what Melanie Joy calls “relational literacy” is unique to time ‎and space. How humans evolved to connect, meet, and mate ‎is shaped by evolution and culture. In ‎certain parts of the world, humans value connection for the ‎sake of connection; many traditional and developing ‎countries are good examples. But in other parts of the ‎world, humans view social interactions as ‎transactional; capitalist and advanced countries are good ‎examples. ‎

The norms of how people should relate to each other are often ‎‎ignored but noticed when violated. Insiders of a particular culture hold ‎the power to decide what is normal from abnormal; they set ‎the standards of how human affairs should be conducted. ‎Outsiders to a particular culture often are at the margin of ‎that society unless they manage to fully assimilate. But that ‎assimilation process–that process of becoming is not easy. ‎In other words, assimilation is a real test of having come of ‎age. It is a rebirth to a new self and a death to an old one. ‎

Whether insiders or outsiders, human beings ‎struggle to achieve holistic well-being. Insiders may set the ‎norms but often struggle to find peace in a hectic ‎modern culture. They may not savor their success and ‎instead crave more in a never-ending process. In that case, ‎the insiders have much to learn from the outsiders, who are ‎often content with what they have and lead a ‎simple and traditional lifestyle. ‎

Modern life has driven people to the verge of exhaustion. ‎Although life is now more convenient than in the past, modern people never seem relaxed. They are in ‎competition for attention, fame, and power. After all, the ‎twenty-first century does not seem to be the century of ‎reason and happiness but rather the century of money and ‎power. ‎

Conclusion ‎

Well-being is inherently holistic. If you are incredibly ‎successful in one domain, others may presume you ‎live a happy life. However, succeeding in one ‎domain does not imply success in others. Zero-gen students may be successful in academia ‎ while severely struggling in the relationship ‎domain. For insiders, they may never feel that they ‎have enough since they can always get a little bit more. In the end, we should take charge of our ‎holistic well-being because the universe is indifferent to ‎human suffering.

advertisement
More from Abdulrahman Bindamnan
More from Psychology Today