How to Maintain a Great Marriage and a Great Job

Modern marriages often involve dual incomes. Thankfully, with proactivity and planning, juggling personal and professional life is a modern challenge that is attainable and sustainable. Happy couples do it every day. But how? Researchers share some rules.

Source: Image by Werner Heiber from Pixabay

Married to Your Job, and Your Spouse

Kaarina Määttä and Satu Uusiautti (2012) investigated factors that impacted how to balance love and work in a piece aptly entitled “Seven Rules on Having a Happy Marriage along with Work.”[I]. They begin by acknowledging the competing demands of work life and home life require a balance. Studying 342 couples married over twn years and able to successfully combine family life with demanding work schedules, they came up with seven rules of personal behavior that governed positive work-life balance. Although none of the couples were able to completely avoid difficult challenges, they shared the factors that created stability and happiness within their marriage, generating methods of interaction that Määttä and Uusiautti describe as “the secret of their marital success.”

Relational Rules of Personal Behavior

Määttä and Uusiautti listed seven rules of personal behavior from the couples they studied, which are necessary for enjoying a good marriage while also working. These categories can be considered within a larger context of relationship areas to embrace with an eye toward creating cohesive, comfortable practices for couples.

1. An ability to turn downs into ups.
2. Activity, creativity, and imagination—the authors note the importance of discovering enjoyable shared activities in marriage. This even includes rituals, referred to as repetitious, rewarding activities spouses do together—that are impossible to do solo.
3. Tolerating dissimilarity and change.
4. Patience, flexibility, and humility.
5. Acknowledging, supporting, and admiring. Here, the authors note the importance of using gracious words such as “thank you,” “you make me happy,” or “I appreciate what you have done.” They note also that such words are not devalued even with considerable use.
6. Commitment and dedication.
7. Self-respect.

Better Together

Complementary relational partners are in a good position to provide mutual support, especially in the areas they know are most important to each partner, as Määttä and Uusiautti note that spouses perceive positive relational benefits differently. Among dual-earner couples, men experienced relationship satisfaction as linked with positive family-to-work spillover, and women found positive spillover with a satisfactory housework arrangement. Määttä and Uusiautti also note that within a close relationship, busy contemporary partners can reveal their fragile and private sides that are not on display at work. Accordingly, they recognize that relational intimacy and privacy can provide priceless emotional satisfaction.

Home Sweet Home

In a complicated world, a healthy, happy, home life can be a blessing. Määttä and Uusiautti note that self-confidence and survival in the workforce depend greatly on the quality of relationships at home. They note that an efficient work life is often linked with a satisfying emotional life, fulfilled through intimate relationships that provide support, love, and privacy. Apparently, a productive, efficient work life strengthens the appeal of marriage and vice versa.