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Key points
- Dreams can have multiple interpretations based on someone's personality, age, or circumstances.
- Psychotherapists consider dreams memos from the unconscious representing a dynamic in the dreamer's life.
- The most common dreams include anxiety-driven, wish fulfillment, and punishment.
Dreams come in all styles and shapes: epic adventures, horrifying nightmares, comforting fantasies, or chaotic acid trips.
Before we speculate on the meaning of dreams, remember that dreams are as individual as we are; the same dream may have multiple interpretations based on your personality, age, or circumstances.
So, if you think dreams are divine directives or psychologically driven, the same conclusion applies: Every dream has a message.
A dream visit from a deceased relative
Many years ago, my grandmother appeared in a dream. I discovered her standing in my living room, looking at me with a big smile. I woke up crying.
My grandmother passed away nearly 30 years ago. She was my greatest cheerleader; when I was upset, overwhelmed, or sad, she offered encouragement, warm tea, and cinnamon toast to soothe my troubles.
Why did she appear at that moment in my life?
A simple way to look at dreams
From a psychodynamic perspective, all people in your dreams represent parts of yourself. In other words, you borrow those people to represent some aspect of you.
For example, suppose you have a violent dream, such as being hurt or attacked. In that case, the attacker may represent a battle you are having with yourself, such as difficulty with self-destructive tendencies or self-sabotaging behavior.
If your dream is chaotic, such as feeling lost in a confusing environment, you are likely battling fears of your future. The environment and the people in the dream represent the uncertainties in your life; perhaps you have to make a tough decision, maybe there are unknowns about your future, or you’re concerned for the safety of a loved one. Life transitions often provoke chaotic dreams as well.
The secret message of your dream
Think of your dreams as mini-movies produced by your unconscious. Since you internalize everyone you meet, you have thousands of cast members to choose from. When you consider your age and your current struggles, the script of your dream starts to take shape.
Analyzing the message of your dream requires tenacious detective work. Psychotherapists love to pull dreams apart and find their hidden meaning. They consider every dream a memo from your unconscious representing a pressing dynamic in your life.
For example, my deceased grandmother appeared during a time when I was struggling with a profound lack of confidence in myself. At the time, a family member was hospitalized with a chronic illness, the pandemic shut down my psychotherapy office, and my mother was battling COVID-19. Disaster seemed to be around every corner.
I borrowed my grandmother to represent the quiet strength she passed onto me. That strength was still there but hidden under all my fears and anxieties. I encouraged myself in the dream not to give up and to muster the inner strength and courage to overcome these struggles.
I sought to encourage myself; my grandmother was the perfect casting for the part.
The five types of dreams
It’s impossible to catalog all types of dreams. I’ve narrowed them down to the most common I’ve seen in my work as a psychotherapist. Keep in mind that there is overlap. A single dream can touch on many qualities simultaneously or have multiple meanings.
1. Anxiety-driven
Running, falling, or being chased by a stranger, theses are common manifestations of anxiety, which produces nightmares and other unnerving dreams. Worries and fears you may avoid daily haunt you in your sleep. This is why many anxious people avoid sleeping and push themselves to stay awake. They rarely “go to bed”; they fall asleep from exhaustion.
2. Wish-fulfillment
Did you dream of winning an award, waking up in a new house, dating a celebrity crush, or getting revenge? Welcome to the fun world of wish-fulfillment dreams. Unfortunately, waking up from a wish-fulfillment dream can be jarring. Reality is back, and the fun is over.
3. Punishment
Guilt is a great driver of punishment dreams. You feel remorseful. Perhaps you did something you regret. A young man I worked with had a recurring dream about a strict elementary school teacher who caught him cheating on a test. Every time he felt guilty about something, that teacher would appear in his dreams to punish him.
4. Self-soothing
Some dreams are lovely, gentle, and kind. Like the visit from my grandmother, they are an attempt to comfort and soothe your troubled mind.
5. Problem-solving
Problem-solving dreams are the most practical. You face a dilemma, and your unconscious delivers a solution. Such dreams can be inspirational because they supply you with answers to pressing questions. For example, musicians sometimes dream of musical compositions, scientists dream of answers to confounding experiments, or entrepreneurs dream of new inventions.
Analyzing your dreams
There are many ways to approach dream analysis. Here are a few suggestions.
1. When you wake from a dream, try to remain still.
Don’t get up and walk around. The more you move your body, the more likely you will forget the dream and critical details. The more you wake, the foggier the dream becomes.
2. Write down or dictate your dreams into a recording device.
The more detail that you remember, the better. Many people experience an increase in dreams during critical times in their lives. For example, many creative people keep a recorder by their bed to transcribe their dreams or write them in their dream journals.
3. Scutinize the cast of your dream.
What do certain people represent to you? Why did you cast them in those parts?
4. What emotions were triggered by the dream?
Did you wake up scared? Inspired? Upset? The feeling tone of a dream is an essential part of the analysis.
5. Tell someone about your dream.
Explaining your dream to someone helps you to understand it as well. It’s often difficult to see ourselves. Telling a friend or therapist can illuminate aspects of the dream you don’t understand.
Good and bad dreams carry essential messages and sometimes tell you things you don’t want to hear. Whatever the dream, approaching it with patience and curiosity will never let you down.
Happy dreaming!
