How Chronic Pain Makes Life’s Everyday Tasks a Challenge

"Resting" by Henri Charles Manguin, 1905

Source: Public Domain Wikimedia Commons

Chronic pain, in effect, disables people from comfortably performing mundane, everyday tasks that others take for granted. For me, it’s not a question of whether I’ll be in pain on a given day; it’s how much pain I’ll be in.

My most severe pain comes from osteoarthritis in my shoulders. Recently, an orthopedist said to me: “I’m sorry but it’s bone on bone. The only treatment is two shoulder replacements.”

Pain from shoulder arthritis is felt mostly in the arm between the shoulder and the elbow. To illustrate, bend your arms 90° at the elbow and lightly press both upper arms against the sides of your body. I think of this as a neutral position. Now imagine that any movement of your elbows away from your sides is painful. Thus it hurts to reach forward, to reach up, to reach the side, to reach behind you.

I have osteoarthritis in other joints—the knees and hips—but the pain is moderate compared with the pain in my shoulders. In addition, my muscles often ache due to what my doctor now calls a type of “long haulers” stemming from a virus I caught in 2001.

I’m not writing to complain about my pain. I have two purposes. The first is to raise awareness about chronic pain. Unless others live with someone in pain, they’re unlikely to realize its impact on everyday tasks of life. My second purpose is to let those of you who live with chronic pain know that you’re not alone. It’s not your fault that your body is hurting. It’s trying as hard as it can to support you. Please treat it with compassion, even when you feel frustrated or blue.

My list of mundane tasks:

Making the bed

Simply reaching out to grab the sheet and blanket hurts. That pain intensifies as I pull the bedclothes up and straighten them.

Getting dressed

Anyone with shoulder arthritis will recognize the pain involved in

1. reaching up to get a piece of clothing over your head
2. reaching out to the side to get your arm into the sleeve of a jacket or sweater (and later reaching out to get them off)
3. reaching behind you to adjust or straighten clothing
4. stepping into pants or a skirt (this can trigger pain in the knees too) and then pulling them up (the shoulder pain triggered by that last move can be intense).

Showering and hair matters

Showering in hot water feels good on my pain-filled body. That is, it feels good until I have to wash my hair. There’s no way to accomplish this task without using my arms. On a particularly bad day, once out of the shower, it even hurts to brush my hair. Recall that neutral position with your arms bent 90° at the elbow and tucked against the side of your body. I’ve yet to find a way to brush my hair from that stance.

Cleaning house

Vacuuming is out. I have to pay someone to do it. But that leaves a lot of other tasks. With your arms in that neutral position, how are you going to pick up stuff, dust, clean the assorted “fixtures” in the bathroom, and wash the floors, even occasionally?

Taking out the garbage

There it is—my three-foot-high trash receptacle, lined with a plastic bag. I can’t get that bag out without raising my arms and, of course, that triggers pain. Once it’s out of the receptacle, by now you’ll know that lifting the bag to take it to the trash bin outside is a painful task, too.

Doing laundry

Gathering it goes well unless the load is heavy. I have a stacked washer-dryer. I thought this was a terrific, space-saving idea. That is, until I realized that it put the dryer above my waist. Reaching up to open the door hurts, with an extra moment of searing pain thrown in because the door is hard to open so I have to give it a jerk. I bought a stool to stand on for this and similar tasks (such as reaching shelves in the kitchen). I wanted a sturdy stool; unfortunately, that means it’s so heavy that it hurts to pick it up. Not fair.

Reading, visiting, listening to music, watching TV, etc.

These aren’t household chores but are hopefully a part of everyone’s day. It’s how we relax. The challenge is to find a position that will be comfortable for more than a few minutes. Think about how, once a person sits down, he or she makes little adjustments to get more comfortable—adjustments that tend to go unnoticed. But what if almost every little adjustment hurts since, once you’re sitting, just about the only way to move is to “push off” with your hands or arms. This pushing off can trigger terrible pain. I’ve been known to yelp.

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Because these everyday tasks can become monumental ones depending on your pain level, be ready to adjust your day to accommodate how you’re feeling. Doing the laundry, for example, can almost always be put off to another day. When you live with chronic pain, flexibility is an act of self-compassion. Be kind to yourself. Listen to your body. If it’s saying “not today,” then, without self-blame, accommodate its needs.

Chronic Pain Essential Reads

6 Guidelines to Live by if You’re Chronically Ill or in Pain

The Best Way to Talk to a Child in Pain

If you live with chronic pain, I hope you’ll share this with those you’re closest to so they’ll understand “a day in the life.”