The Transformative Journey of Writing a Memoir

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When I started writing my first memoir, Horse Girl, I didn’t know what to expect. In fact, I was in the middle of writing a different book when this one kept nudging me in my head. So, I let it take over. I started writing it, and, for three months, I didn’t stop. It was as if the words took on a life of their own and I was simply there to put them on paper. Before I knew it, I had a first draft in my hands and the editing process began.

Editing it was a lot more difficult than writing it. It was a new experience reading my life experiences back, and I had to learn to balance the critical editing eye with the compassionate human eye. Every story that had come to life in the writing part was there for a reason. Every story was there teaching me something about myself, my life, or how to best live it. In hindsight, this was easy to see.

This made me realize how writing about your past can help you in many ways. Here are only a few of the transformative things it can offer you:

1. You feel grateful for all the good parts.

Reminiscing about the good things in your past makes you feel gratitude for them. This fuels your overall sense of well-being and can even help you to make more sense of the present. Take the time to focus on your highlights and relive them in your memory, time after time.

2. You remember new things.

Taking the time to reminisce makes you realize how much there is to remember. Creating this space for reflecting on the past makes you remember things you had totally forgotten about. You can even start to notice details from your past that you’d missed out on before. Give yourself time and space to do this. You’ll be surprised at what comes up.

3. You see your failures and mistakes in a new light.

In hindsight, it is easier to look at your failures and mistakes from a more positive place. You can see the failures you’ve had for what they were and realize how they led you to where you are today. You can acknowledge that the mistakes you made taught you things you wouldn’t otherwise have learned. You can go as far as to say that everything happens for a reason, and looking back on it all, you can see it clearly.

4. You process your trauma and healing.

Writing about your past can help you to process the more difficult parts of it. I certainly found this to be the case for me. It can help you to make sense of everything and finally make peace with things that have troubled you for years, if not decades. It can help you to finally forgive and to let go of the burdens of the past. It can give you the space you need to heal.

5. You realize how far you’ve come.

When you look at everything you’ve done, you realize how much you’ve done. You start to see that you’ve grown with every experience and that they all played a part in turning you into the person you are today. Take this learning with you whenever you feel like you aren’t far enough in your goals or ambitions. Look back at where you were 5, 10, or 15 years ago. I guarantee you will see real progress.

If you want to have a go, just start writing. Write about your favorite moments, your biggest learnings, and the things that felt hard. Don’t censor yourself. You can always edit later. Write freely, without inhibitions, and see what comes up. Most of all, enjoy the journey of reminiscing.

Horse Girl: A Journey Home is now available worldwide. It’s a tale of life, love, and finding your way home.