Why Do Some Reject the Concept of "Toxic Masculinity"?

I find it strange that many people reject the concept of “toxic masculinity,” some going so far as to suggest that no one should mention the concept or claim the possibility could exist. We have always, from Plato on anyway, worried about such things. And yet popular writers are suggesting that it's outrageous to even consider that masculinity be something which can be indulged in to too large a degree. Psychologist Jordan Peterson has proposed that his fans boycott Procter & Gamble for running an ad that suggests masculinity be paired with moral concerns. The Atlantic's Caitlin Flanagan has tweeted that the ad is equivalent to suggesting that all men are rapists.

These are exceedingly odd positions to maintain, I think, and they seem to be ignorant of the way we have long worried about morality and the development of aspects of ourselves.

And recent work on how we develop our self-conception confirms the idea that it is good to evaluate our behavioral ideals and expectations of others. We develop our notion of self in relation to others, we can and do modify these notions, and there are checks on how successful permutations of these notions are. I wrote about Don Ross’s explanations on this topic here.

The idea that masculinity is some unquestionable final end seems belied by so much – it feels like you can pick up counter-examples no matter where you look. Here is a sample three.

a) The fact that we work on our aggression and ambition (through sports and coaching for example).

b) That women have to focus on overcoming excessive-femininity is a sign that there is nothing new or strange about noting that “masculinity” can carry us too far, impeding the person involved’s pursuit of good.

c) The difficulties men themselves express with the issues that could be easily listed under “excessive masculinity.”

When my son was considering playing football, a friend of his encouraged it for this reason, "if you don’t play you’ll never be… " and then he’d strike a crouched pose and give a kind of holler. I thought it was a fair point! Made adequately!

It reminded me of Plato’s account of spirit or thumos, an aspect of our soul that we have to develop, through sports, in order to become fully efficacious. Thumos, Plato explains, pursues honor and victory, though it is also the “seat of” anger. There are all sorts of risks involved in over-indulging this side of ourselves, but Plato saw it as crucial as an aid to our reason. Philosopher Jessica Moss describes this as follows:

"Without spirit’s aid, reason would be in danger of losing the battle to appetite. The pleasure that appetite craves would become the standard of value that determines the agent’s actions. The person who believes that injury in battle is not to be feared, because it is not truly bad, but then loses that belief through fear when the moment comes, has confused pleasure with benefit, pain with harm. Because injury is painful, he has come to believe that it is bad. The effect of spirit, when it holds firm against fear or temptation, is to prevent the agent from lapsing into this confusion. In virtue of his spirited part, the agent continues to distinguish what is pleasant from what is good, “preserving the commands of reason” and keeping appetite under control."

This particular manifestation of spirit is something my two girls are working on, as they are learning to play basketball on a team. They are very kind children and taking a ball from someone who has it is not coming easily to them. And yet the benefits of developing this type of aggression seem obvious to us. To be unable to participate in a game like basketball, to be too timid to do so, would surely be fairly described as a sort of “toxic femininity.” (A columnist suggested toxic femininity would involve incredibly immoral behaviors which victimize others, equating it to the damage a personality disorder can do, but I find that so very strange. This would be to eliminate the large category of the overly-kind and solicitous in order to just generate a moral equivalency to toxic masculinity. This seems like motivated reasoning and very implausible. For example, influential thinkers like Brene Brown have appeal to those who have excess femininity. Her incredibly popular addresses to women are not on the desire to do terrible harm to others!)

Sport is also a place where excessive masculinity is curbed. It is hard to understand why this very idea is repellent to some, when you can visit any practice and see coaches actively responding to the child who is getting so angry while playing sports that he is starting fights, throwing his jersey down, or walking out. Our coaches are addressing these behaviors all of the time, just as their coaches did before them.

Finally, my friends who are men deal with all sorts of regrets that one could describe as resulting from over-indulging in masculinity. They still regret fist fights over poker, never learning how to type, being so uncomfortable with getting medical care. These friends are not so opaque to themselves that cannot see these problems as obstacles. I suppose the term “toxic masculinity” might be embarrassing if used in self-description, given that "masculinity" is still considered very much a compliment and success term. (See additional worries from a clinical perspective here.) But the issues involved are familiar and of active concern to plenty of us.

Sport and Competition Essential Reads

Why We Get Excited During Sporting Events

What Does It Mean to Be a Good Sports Fan?

To reject the category of “toxic masculinity” as meaningful, you would not only have to say that these men are confused about their motives, but you would have to reject age-old caution about how spirit can be overindulged. Even the insight that sport is greatly moderating would become suspect. It is hard to understand why it would be worth it to do any of this.

It is a very exciting time for scholarship in ancient philosophy, philosophers are building on some of the foundational work of the 1980s and 1990s and interpreting concepts in Plato, Aristotle, and the Stoics with an incredible amount of detail and clarity. For an example, see Jessica Moss’s work on shame and thumos in Plato here.

Please also see philosopher Martha Nussbaum discuss some confusions about masculinity and provide explanation of the elements of proper courage (for today) here.