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Leadership

The Secret to Unlock High-Quality Feedback: Start With Why

Empower others to empower you.

Key points

  • Research reveals that the best leaders are those who actively receive feedback.
  • Unfortunately, even when leaders want to receive feedback, they may not receive any at all or it may be of low quality.
  • Starting with "why" allows feedback providers to see why you want it and maximizes the chances they will share it with you.
Source: Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels
Source: Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels

Ken Blanchard famously noted that “feedback is the breakfast of champions.” Empirical evidence supports that idea. A powerful study conducted by Zenger Folkman revealed that leaders who asked for and acted on feedback were rated as significantly more effective in their roles than their counterparts who did not engage in this powerful practice.

Remarkably, a perfect linear trend emerged in that the more leaders asked for and acted on feedback, the better their performance rating. On average, leaders who ranked in the top 10 percentile of asking for and acting on feedback were rated in the 86th percentile of leadership effectiveness. If they were in the bottom 10th percentile of this category, on average, they were rated in the 12th percentile of leadership effectiveness. This paints a very compelling case.

Despite its importance, it can be hard to obtain high-quality feedback, let alone any feedback for that matter. This leaves an important question: How can we encourage people to provide us with high-quality feedback?

The power of starting with "why"

While this may seem like an insight from Captain Obvious (e.g., why would we be asking for feedback if we didn’t have a good reason?), it is an often overlooked and essential success strategy.

In my coaching work, I stress the importance of explaining why we want feedback to my clients all the time. Unfortunately, sometimes my clients are so excited that they skip the step of setting the table properly. In their zest to get started, they rush in and start asking people feedback questions right away and assume it will go well.

One of my clients, Tim, is a perfect example. He had rarely, if ever, asked for feedback. When he did, he deployed a more rhetorical approach: “Is everything alright with you?” or “I’m assuming you’re happy with how things are going?” These types of questions always rendered the typical response: “All good, boss.”

After we discussed the importance of open and honest feedback, we put it on the agenda for our next coaching conversation. Unfortunately, he could not contain his curiosity or enthusiasm. He started asking people a series of questions. He thought, This is such a great idea. What could possibly go wrong?

As he started asking his team about how he could improve, he was immediately met with blank stares. These were either followed by continued awkward silence or, “Nothing I can think of. Can I get back to you?” As you probably guessed, nobody did.

Although he wanted to surprise me with what he learned at the start of our next session, when we met, he was quite deflated. He could not understand why this strategy, which had so much promise, had not worked for him. Where did he go wrong?

I asked him to look at it from the perspective of his employees. He had not asked for their input about his performance for a very long time. The last time he could recall was a 360-feedback exercise from a few years ago, which he openly criticized. He realized how this laid the grounds for their hesitation and avoidance.

We discussed that while he understood why he was asking for feedback, how could his teammates and colleagues possibly know? We also discussed what their potential reaction could be. I asked him to consider what they might be thinking.

After sitting back and reflecting on this for a moment, it suddenly clicked. By revealing their concerns, Tim realized that his team may be worried he would get even with them somehow. Also, they were likely wondering, Why now? He never expressed an interest in this before. Although it was a desirable and positive change, it seemingly came out of nowhere.

He also realized they were unclear about what he was actually looking for. Asking people for feedback on how you are doing may sound good in theory, but in practice, this approach is rife with problems. He understood this can be a very loaded question. In what areas is Tim interested in obtaining feedback? What is the best way to deliver it?

After our debrief, Tim shared his revelation about the importance of starting with why. He didn’t realize how quickly and powerfully a well-intentioned feedback conversation could go off the rails without it.

Conclusion

Obtaining feedback is an essential ingredient in our recipe for success. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, we can struggle to obtain much of a supply.

To counter this trend, we need to invite people into the process more thoughtfully. Letting people know why we want to receive their feedback and how they can best deliver it to us sets the stage for us to be at our best. We hold the key to creating a feedback culture. The best place to start is to start with why.

***This post is an edited excerpt from the forthcoming book, A Time to Lead: Mastering Your Self… So You Can Master Your World, which will be released on Sept. 13, 2022.

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