Becoming Your 'Best Retired Self'

As we age, we spend more time looking back at the good old days. We reflect on our joys, points of pride, and moments of laughter. We think about all the things we have done that made us the people we are today. As a result, thinking about our lives post-retirement may fill us with mixed emotions. On the one hand, we may be excited about the free time we gain to read more, sleep more, and perhaps even travel more. But, on the other hand, as we look ahead, we may start thinking about ailments, loneliness, and death. But what if the best in life is yet to come?

It's not a secret that our emotional life improves as we age. We tend to notice more positive events and disregard what makes us less happy. We are picky about the people we spend time with and prefer those who make us feel good. We experience more complex emotions and can manage them more effectively, especially when facing adversity. This prevents us from riding the emotional waves of our daily lives. Ultimately, we become happier as we age compared to the younger selves we used to be. Paradoxically, however, we think younger people live a better life, while we are taking a downturn.

Another reason why we become happier as we age is the past-time orientation we practice. The older we get, the more experiences we have accumulated that we can call upon to make us happier. Unfortunately, the opposite may happen too, and the negative experiences will flood our minds, not allowing us to move forward. While a little bit of negative past is helpful, as it helps us learn from our experiences, those who report the highest levels of well-being spend more time living in their positive past, reflecting on the good old days. Similarly, many positive psychology interventions encourage people to tap into their positive memories to help them boost their well-being and create a positive identity. However, we forget that thinking about the future can also become a source of wellness, and it's essential we tap into its potential as we age and reach our retirement.

"Best Retired Self" Activity

To test our theory of the usefulness of the future to enhance our well-being as we age, my colleague Julie Round and I have designed an experiment measuring the longitudinal experiences and perceived retirement well-being of recent retirees following a tailored intervention linking the "best possible self" expressive writing with goal-setting. The experiment lasted four days, during which we asked that participants take 20 minutes a day to write the following:

On day one, we asked participants to describe their best retired selves, to imagine that all their dreams came to fruition.

On day two, we asked them to explore the fundamental building blocks of their life at their future best (home, family, community, leisure, learning, volunteering, etc.).

On day three, we asked them to imagine everything has gone to plan and write specifically about how things look in five years.

On day four, we asked participants to envisage that everything has turned out as they would like and encouraged them to write from the perspective of their birthday party, aged 80 (think about how it looks, feels, smells, sounds; who's there with you—people you already know and those you may not yet have met).

Goal-Setting Activity

As they engaged in writing, we asked them to catch themselves setting up goals for the future.

• Write down a goal statement (describe the goal—what exactly it is you would like to accomplish?).
• Highlight the day or days on which this goal appeared in their writing? Day one, two, three, or four?
• Who's the goal for (the participants or others) and why? We asked them to reflect on their chosen goal and why it felt important. What did they need to do to move towards or accomplish this goal? How would they know when they got there (what would be different)? By when would they reach the goal?

In other words, the goal-setting activity aimed to engage our participants in self-coaching.

Before completing this activity, some participants experienced existential angst, wondering how they would manage their retirement. They no longer had a structure to their days, they felt they were drifting a little, and one participant mentioned feeling like she was no good to anyone anymore. However, the activity resulted in a deeply-rooted life meaning and purpose in most of them. They said they were in a better place for doing it, as now they had a plan to get the best of their retirement. A few mentioned their image at their 80th party and how it stuck in their minds with all the joy and laughter they expected to experience. This simple activity created hope, optimism, and excitement for the future, not to mention the retirees' urge to further contribute to the lives of their society, community, friends, and family so that they would be remembered for their wisdom.

While some participants had mixed emotions one week after completing the activity, the most significant benefits were noted at a three-month follow-up. Apart from creating deeper meaning and purpose, the activity made participants feel at peace. They realized that exploring their desires and motives and coming up with ways to accomplish them was essential regardless of their age. Their desires were all hidden in their subconsciousness. The activity helped them become more aware of themselves and plan for ways to make their dreams come true. If unexpressed, they may have left them more frustrated and regretful. Instead, this activity resulted in their future rolling in front of their eyes like a red carpet. That future focus helped them feel more energized and contributed significantly to their retirement well-being. After all, even if we choose not to see it, tomorrow sneaks upon us anyway.