What Is an Autistic Meltdown?

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If you walk into any autistic group, almost everyone in the group understands what it means to go into autistic shutdown or meltdown states. Even if they don’t know the proper words or terminology for these states, they respond viscerally.

According to the National Autistic Society in the U.K., an autistic meltdown is an intense response to an overwhelming sensory or emotional stimuli. When this happens, the autistic person temporarily loses all control of their behavior. This is most stereotypically depicted as the way autistic children behave when they meltdown. The autistic child that lays in the aisle at Walmart and just screams and the parent can’t comfort or soothe them no matter what they do is the image most people think of when they think of autistic meltdown. It is often confused with temper tantrums, but they are not the same. Meltdowns occur when the autistic person has been overwhelmed by stimuli and can no longer handle the overwhelming situation.

In autistic adults, meltdowns are also a complete loss of control of behavior but that looks very different. In adults, it can look like crying, yelling, lashing out, suicidal ideation, self-harm, inability to talk, lack of ability to think, or rage.

According to research by Phung et al. (2022), autistic adults describe feeling out of control and they feel this with their entire body. They describe having blurry vision, muscles getting hot, cheeks getting warm, and shoulders bunched up. They have a diminished ability to think and sometimes difficulty finding words or remembering basic things. Autistic adults describe feeling completely out of control like everything is fuzzy.

Phung et al. (2022) also describes a stage called burnout, which can proceed meltdown in which the autistic person begins to feel fatigued, overwhelmed, slowed down, and has difficulty with cognition. This is a period where continued pressure and overwhelming sensory and emotional stress begin to erode the autistic person’s ability to function and perform daily tasks. Encouraging autistic people to decrease emotional and sensory pressure at this point can prevent meltdowns.

The Autism Research Institute reports that meltdown is caused by central nervous system overload in autistic people. Recent research shows that autistic people have neurons that are more hyperconnected than neurotypicals. This explains why it is so much easier to overwhelm autistic people. Autistic people’s sensory systems are very different and when things are overwhelming, this can result in complete meltdown.

Almost every day I can celebrate autism and promote autism acceptance. I am autistic and proud, and I find autism beautiful. But, when I am in meltdown, every part of me wishes I could be normal. This is the most difficult thing to cope with for most autistic people. It comes like an avalanche and is so viscerally uncomfortable that many of my clients want to kill themselves—not because they actually want to die but because it is so uncomfortable, they would do anything to escape it. Those of us who cope better don’t think this way, as we know it will pass, but it is still horrible when you are in it. I went into meltdown yesterday and all my autism acceptance abandoned me. I just wished I was normal.

I have recently gone through a prolonged period of autistic burnout as I have increased my workload. Yesterday, that burnout descended into meltdown. I couldn’t mitigate all the damage. An attorney would only communicate with me through group chats. Communication is usually one of my strong areas as an autistic adult, but I am completely unable to comprehend group chats. But the attorney would only communicate with me in group chat format and the last communication I got triggered the meltdown. I didn’t understand what his group was doing or why. The conversation in the group chat might as well have been in Sumerian.

I could feel it in my body first. I didn’t want anything to touch me. My chest felt odd and tight. Everything was too bright and too much. I couldn’t think. I stuttered and forgot obvious words. I became clumsy and fell out of my chair twice. My hands were and are still shaking. I did send several angry emails to the attorney before I realized what I was doing. The emails weren’t me. They weren’t my usual writing style. In them, I can track how my brain changes when I am in meltdown.

I realized quickly what was happening and cut off contact. I canceled appointments and went home to my quiet place where I can avoid sensory overstimulation. I called people I could trust who talked to me and accepted my state. I explained to my loved ones what was happening, and they gave me the space and time I needed to reboot. I also began tracking the meltdown and all my physical symptoms. It is a fascinating event. In the moment of the meltdown, I feel like an entirely different person.

Teaching people how to deal with autistic meltdowns is one of the things I do the most in my practice and it is simple yet complex. First, take space. End all activities that contribute to the meltdown. Find a quiet place and find things that bring you peace. Accept the meltdown as it is. Bring safe people around you or stay alone as you prefer. Find sensory delights and surround yourself with them. If you can, sleep. This will help you reboot. After the meltdown, take time to note your triggers so you can avoid them in the future or at least plan for the meltdown. Take time off to alleviate burnout so you don’t melt down again.

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If you have a friend or family member who is autistic, validate them. Meltdowns are normal for autistic people. They aren’t crazy or broken. The meltdown will pass. Give them space and time. Don’t pressure them to talk or move. Allow them to be. Offer support but don’t push it on them. When the meltdown is over, encourage them to take time off and decrease their sensory and emotional burden so it doesn’t occur again.

Most of all, remember that all meltdowns pass. It is uncomfortable for everyone, but it won’t last forever.