Does Loneliness Eat at You? Screen Media May Be to Blame

Source: "Alone #01" by KforC Productions. Creative Commons

It is hard to ignore the correlation between increasing feelings of loneliness and the ongoing saturation of social media, to say nothing of our general obsession with screens. Studies repeatedly confirm that more than half the American population feels perpetually lonely and isolated [1]. Over half a million people in Japan haven’t left the house or interacted with another person for six months or more [2]. Evidence mounts that social isolation exacts a medical cost, too, in terms of increased risk for heart disease, obesity, cancer, and Alzheimer’s dementia [3].

Digital screens stress sensation over reflection. They promote constant stimulation from the immediate, external world over empathy, thought, and perspective. Increasingly, time spent with technology and the Internet has become a substitute for emotional gratification and face-to-face interaction.

Loneliness in Teens

In teens and adolescents, loneliness has become particularly pronounced, so much so that young people have a difficult time asking for help, expressing what they feel, and trying to understand another’s perspective. New York Times columnist Frank Bruni detects a connection between heavy screen use and profound loneliness based on emotional stagnation.

“Fixating on digital screens, communicating almost exclusively by text message, and avoiding face-to-face interactions,” he says, makes it difficult for young people to engage in even the slightest small talk. They don’t know how to, because they simply never learned the etiquette. The emotional isolation resulting from an umbilical reliance on screen tech has rendered them unprepared to socialize, which in turn undermines their development as adults.

Loneliness in the Rest of Us

Currently, screens provide the bulk of entertainment and information for most of us. For some, the convenience has made socializing obsolete. Why go through the hard work of understanding others or empathizing with their point of view when more attractive emotional feeds are available through Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube?

Social media dumbs down communication. Instead of a nuanced conversation, we need type only a few words to “connect” with someone far away online. Even words are no longer necessary. Emojis alone suffice :). If things take an awkward turn, we need only “ghost” the responsible person, severing communication as easily as pulling weeds from the dirt. The downside of such shortcuts is that they limit direct physical interaction with others.

The Trick of Reaching Out

I have written before about ways to counter feeling loneliness, such as bolstering empathy through reading, mindfulness practice, or immersing yourself in nature or even urban green spaces [4,5]. Everybody has someplace to go, even if only with the crowd on the street. If you feign cheer, your mood will turn cheerful. Step outside and say “Hi” to passersby without worrying if they will say hello back. Savor the smell of fireplaces burning at night in your neighborhood as well as its sights and sounds.

Participate in life around you. Loneliness is conquered by the company of others, by reaching out. Everywhere there is a look and a smile if you are willing to see it. It is just as easy to put yourself inside the frame as it is to stand outside of it and feel sorry for yourself.

Becoming comfortable with face-to-face interactions may feel at first like going to a new gym—awkward initially, but then gradually, you make acquaintances and engage in extracurricular activities with the purpose of building up competency in person-to-person relations. It may be discomfiting work and nothing like what we are used to in this tech-saturated world. But it is vital to do it if you want to squeeze out loneliness and replace it with a sense of belonging.