Verified by 
I am stuck. It’s true.
What is this place of being stuck like? Oh, you know what it is. You have been there. Another synonym for being stuck? Groundhog Day. Yes, as in the Bill Murray movie. Every day is the same. The hope that it will change wanes the second we open our eyes, despite our best intentions.
For example, the day starts like this: “Today is going to be great. I will drink my water. I will exercise. I will do X, Y and Z (and with a smile) at work. I will accomplish A, B and C at home.” Then, halfway through my third cup of coffee, I reach for the doughnuts in the breakroom, lose my temper, and the Groundhog Day process starts again.
The truth is, however, we are responsible for stepping out of Groundhog Day. Getting out of “stuck” is not something that anyone else can do for us.
That’s the bad news. And the good news, actually. It means we can do something about it.
Currently, I am stuck in a cycle of poor sleep and trashtastic eating habits.
These two monsters feed on each other in my life. If I don’t sleep, I eat sugary foods. When I eat sugary foods, I don’t sleep. Then these two monsters have baby monsters: lack of energy, mild depression, anger, and hopelessness. Remarkable, really.
After nearly a decade of a relentless quest for self-improvement, I have learned a few things. I have learned how to get unstuck. Here is what I know.
1. See the Truth
Hover over yourself for a moment, all ghost-like, and look objectively at your “stuck” situation. Look at your habits, thoughts, actions and relationships. What habits or actions are creating this stuck loop?
We are directly responsible for our own sense of stuck. Other people might be influencing us and goading our bad habits. But being stuck? We are the ones responsible for stuck; no one is making us stuck.
2. Make a Plan
We often want to change “everything” and “right now.” This is a poor plan, and one that you would never propose to your boss at work or your children at home. Create a smart plan for today. Then execute it minute by minute. That’s it. Make a plan for yourself, for today only. Then repeat: Make a new plan for the next day. Take it one piece at a time.
The steps in the plan need to be doable and easy. I’ll share my plan for today:
- Drink my water
- Get some exercise—even if just 10 minutes
- Make a list of priorities and tackle them one by one
- No processed food
When we write down our plan, we leave less room for the willy-nilly. We leave less room for choice confusion. We just do what we say we will. This is a muscle we must build.
3. Talk to Yourself
The internal dialogue is the most important voice in our life. Listen to what you are saying to yourself. If the words are unkind, judgmental, or cruel, it’s time to take a new stance. Speak words to yourself that will move you forward, towards your goals and health. At a bare minimum, speak kindness, such as, “You are doing great. Keep going.” Imagine if someone in our life said that to us every day. It would feel great. We have the power to do that for ourselves.
And just in case no one has told you today: I think you are doing great.
4. Take Responsibility
This is a part of seeing the Truth (#1).
However, responsibility is a persistent mental state that we must adopt to continue to grow, to move forward. Try saying, “I am responsible for my own success” when you speak to yourself. You are not blaming yourself—quite the opposite. You are taking a stance that declares a sense of power and growth. Sure, we cannot control everything—and we don’t control much when you think about it—but we are responsible for a few things. We are responsible for the words we say, the things we allow ourselves to think, and the substances we put in our bodies. Take responsibility for this realm. Own it. It’s actually quite powerful.
5. Be Vigilant.
Remember: You can get re-stuck at any time. Vigilance is necessary.
This past summer I had one of the most successful ones of my life—in health, in work. But things got busy and I lost focus on the health piece. I forgot that I could slip and slide down the mountain any time. So I found myself up in weight, exercising less, breaking my mindfulness habits, and overall feeling like garbage.
This is where I am stuck today. Only I know that I am not really stuck. I can get unstuck—it’s up to me. I am not stuck. And neither are you.
We can take small steps right now to wrench our feet out of the quicksand. I am taking these steps today. Who is coming with me?
