Crafting a Fortress of Well-Being

Healthy boundaries in life are essential for mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and social health and wellness. And, while boundaries can be viewed as the constraints and limitations that you create around yourself, they should essentially be a self-regulating internal control system connecting your internal and external worlds to support the healthiest and best version of yourself as you navigate life and the many daily acts and decisions that encompass living. Limitations, or rather “crafting a fortress of well-being” while doing life, can be relative to your energy, time, activities, commitments, and interactions with family, friends, co-workers, colleagues, and the like. Choosing to identify what is acceptable and healthy in your life and for your life, is paramount, resulting in a more resilient you.

For many years, the concept of boundaries has been at the center of influential research agendas in social psychology, anthropology, history, political science, and sociology (Lamont et. al, 2002). Devoid of healthy boundaries established in relationships, emotional exhaustion becomes a real concern; characterized by a negative state of physical and emotional depletion. Often, it is social and cultural circumscription that limits individual choices and opportunities when it should be the driving force for the very edges it provides for self-sustainability. Establishing clear boundaries in personal and professional relationships can help protect one from increased stress, bolster more health-promoting lifestyle behaviors, and encourage overall wellness (Paterson, 2022; Pluut et.al, 2020). Moreover, it is imperative not to commit emotional infidelity on oneself.

Circumscription: The act of defining, encircling, or limiting something or someone, often by creating or setting specific conditions, restrictions, or boundaries.

Natalia’s Story

Natalia is a 34-year-old opera singer who performs regularly at prestigious private events. She is in high demand as her shows are breathtaking and she has received a plethora of accolades. She is booked by her talent agency/production company every weekend until the end of the year. Although Natalia is very proud of her success, loves constant praise, and relishes her excellence; she internally exclaims, “Will I ever get a break?”

The unwavering hustle and bustle of her life as a fruitful entertainer with very few extended breaks are taking a toll on her mental and emotional health and well-being. It can be quite challenging to manage; particularly when no clear boundaries are established.

Natalia represents many of us attempting to handle work responsibilities with life expectations. And the difficulty aiming to manage and balance everything increases exponentially when other individuals and/or entities are involved. At times, there may even be a sense of guilt and not wanting to let others down. Nevertheless, it is imperative that you determine the best path forward for creating healthy boundaries that engender intentional and compassionate self-care.

Five Approaches to Consider for Creating Healthy Boundaries

1. Active Listening: Being fully engaged and demonstrating attentiveness (verbal and non-verbal) to gain insight about others’ perspectives to help you appropriately process messaging and what may or may not apply to you when creating boundaries.
2. Evaluation: Regularly assess and reassess to adjust boundaries as needed to maintain a healthy internal equilibrium.
3. Open Communication: Aim to identify your needs and comfortable limits in specific situations.
4. Personal Inventory: Self-reflection and introspection to authentically and honestly create clear parameters.
5. Strategic Decision-Making: analyzing, planning, and fully committing to maximize positive and reasonable outcomes, especially in conflicting situations.

When you create a fortress of self-reflection that aligns with mental and emotional fortitude, you may define an energetic force shield of protection for self-preservation. Remember you only have one life, and it is up to you to model how you want others to honor your margins of inclusion and exclusion. Take the necessary time to be your best self—it’s always important and healthy to choose you.

Your Supportive Sisters in Mental Health and Wellness,
Kisha & Malika