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Me, You, & Us

Examining the interplay between our love lives and our identities

Stress
Can Your Relationship Survive Traveling Together?

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on June 30, 2016

It's summer time! That means vacations with family, friends, and romantic partners. As much fun as these trips are, they can be stressful. How can that impact your relationships?

It's summer time! That means vacations with family, friends, and romantic partners. As much fun as these trips are, they can be stressful. How can that impact your relationships?

Relationships
Do You Have to Love Yourself Before Someone Else Can?

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on April 21, 2016

Loving yourself is traditionally viewed as crucial in your ability to love others. That said, what does it mean to "love yourself" in a way that benefits your relationships?

Loving yourself is traditionally viewed as crucial in your ability to love others. That said, what does it mean to "love yourself" in a way that benefits your relationships?

Relationships
Who You Love Changes Who You Are

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on March 31, 2016

Your romantic feelings toward a new partner can predict your changing yourself to be more like them....is this a good or bad thing? Turns out, how you feel about yourself matters.

Your romantic feelings toward a new partner can predict your changing yourself to be more like them....is this a good or bad thing? Turns out, how you feel about yourself matters.

Mating
Which Are More Powerful, Turn-Ons or Turn-Offs?

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on February 15, 2016

Lots of research has focused on the traits that we actively seek out in our romantic partners, but what about traits that we actively avoid? Read more to find out.

Lots of research has focused on the traits that we actively seek out in our romantic partners, but what about traits that we actively avoid? Read more to find out.

Relationships
Can You Just Put the Phone Down?

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on January 18, 2016

Cell phones, iPads, Kindles, oh my! We all love our mobile devices, but recent research suggests that using your cell phone around your partner could be hurting your relationship.

Cell phones, iPads, Kindles, oh my! We all love our mobile devices, but recent research suggests that using your cell phone around your partner could be hurting your relationship.

Gratitude
The Power of a Grateful Heart

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on December 16, 2015

This time of year, many of us reflect on what we are grateful for. Research suggests that gratitude toward a close relationship partner can have benefits under some circumstances.

This time of year, many of us reflect on what we are grateful for. Research suggests that gratitude toward a close relationship partner can have benefits under some circumstances.

Relationships
The Truth About Rebound Relationships

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on November 13, 2015

Are rebound relationships a good idea? Recent research suggests that they may not be as bad for us as popular belief might suggest.

Are rebound relationships a good idea? Recent research suggests that they may not be as bad for us as popular belief might suggest.

Depression
How Do You Get Your Partner to Listen to You?

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on October 21, 2015

As much as we might love our partners, sometimes they drive us crazy! Do you know the best way to communicate with your partner to get them to change their behavior? It turns out that their mental health matters when picking how to discuss problematic behaviors.

As much as we might love our partners, sometimes they drive us crazy! Do you know the best way to communicate with your partner to get them to change their behavior? It turns out that their mental health matters when picking how to discuss problematic behaviors.

Relationships
The Right Way to React to Risky Moments in Your Relationship

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on August 13, 2015

How do you react when your partner does something that makes you feel hurt or rejected? In these situations, you can either protect yourself or seek connection with your partner. Read on to find out which behavioral option is best for your relationship and which strategy you may be more likely to choose.

How do you react when your partner does something that makes you feel hurt or rejected? In these situations, you can either protect yourself or seek connection with your partner. Read on to find out which behavioral option is best for your relationship and which strategy you may be more likely to choose.

Sex
Are You in the Mood?

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on June 4, 2015

Mis-matched feelings of sexual desire are an incredibly common problem in relationships today. Sometimes you're in the mood and your partner isn't, sometimes it's the other way around. Brand new research has investigated how people with different relationship motivations handle these dilemmas to find sexual and relationship satisfaction.

Mis-matched feelings of sexual desire are an incredibly common problem in relationships today. Sometimes you're in the mood and your partner isn't, sometimes it's the other way around. Brand new research has investigated how people with different relationship motivations handle these dilemmas to find sexual and relationship satisfaction.

Relationships
How Do We Know Who We Want?

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on May 11, 2015

Most of us have an image in our head of what our ideal romantic partner is like. Do you think that our ideal preferences actually matter for who we choose to be with and whether our relationships last? Relationships researchers are discovering that these findings are actually quite complicated!

Most of us have an image in our head of what our ideal romantic partner is like. Do you think that our ideal preferences actually matter for who we choose to be with and whether our relationships last? Relationships researchers are discovering that these findings are actually quite complicated!

Play
Why Couples Need to Play More

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on February 9, 2015

Many people see Valentine's Day as an opportunity to spice up their relationships. It turns out that social psychologists have identified a really easy way to do just that - engage in novel and exciting activities together! Read more about this simple way to inject excitement back into your relationship.

Many people see Valentine's Day as an opportunity to spice up their relationships. It turns out that social psychologists have identified a really easy way to do just that - engage in novel and exciting activities together! Read more about this simple way to inject excitement back into your relationship.

Relationships
New Year, New You

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on January 12, 2015

We know a lot about what helps individuals attain their goals, like keeping their new year's resolutions. In recent years, we've also started learning a lot about how our close relationships can help or hinder us in our goal pursuits.

We know a lot about what helps individuals attain their goals, like keeping their new year's resolutions. In recent years, we've also started learning a lot about how our close relationships can help or hinder us in our goal pursuits.

Stress
The Best Thing You Can Do for Yourself This Month

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on December 5, 2014

The holidays are a stressful time for everyone. Try practicing self-compassion as a way to make it through the season with as few frayed nerves as possible.

The holidays are a stressful time for everyone. Try practicing self-compassion as a way to make it through the season with as few frayed nerves as possible.

Relationships
How We Find Our Person Today

Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on September 25, 2014

I recently watched the reality series, "Married at First Sight," on the FYI network. At first I was skeptical, but as the show progressed I found myself predicting whether or not the couples in the show would stay together based on established relationship theories. Turns out the existing research pretty accurately captured the things that worked and didn't for each couple

I recently watched the reality series, "Married at First Sight," on the FYI network. At first I was skeptical, but as the show progressed I found myself predicting whether or not the couples in the show would stay together based on established relationship theories. Turns out the existing research pretty accurately captured the things that worked and didn't for each couple