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Key points
- Fear of confronting painful truths and stigma can deter therapy engagement.
- Mistrust, misconceptions, and past bad experiences can hinder help-seeking and deter effective interventions.
- Evidence-based treatments may be overlooked due to misinformation and the promotion of unverified treatments.
- Bridging the gap between desiring and accepting help is key.
The path toward seeking help for mental health issues is often filled with contradictions. Many people want to change and feel better but often avoid or reject the help that could actually improve their lives. This paradoxical situation can be confusing, not only for the individuals experiencing it but also for their friends and loved ones.
Understanding the Paradox
At first glance, it seems counterintuitive. After all, why would someone who is in pain or struggling with mental health issues not leap at the opportunity for relief?
However, the reasons are as varied and complex as we are as humans. While there might be any number of reasons specific to each person, there are also common themes.
Fear of Stigmatization
Although we have seen increasing awareness and efforts to destigmatize mental health issues, the fear of being judged or labeled can be a significant barrier. Clement et al. (2015) observed that stigma is linked to a higher probability of delaying or not seeking assistance for mental health issues.
People might worry about how seeking help could impact their relationships, careers, and social standing. This fear of judgment from others can then internalize, becoming a self-stigmatizing belief that seeking help is a sign of weakness or failure.
Fear of Facing Uncomfortable Truths
Therapy and other forms of mental health treatment can indeed involve confronting painful emotions, memories, or realities. While collaborating with trained professionals can intentionally address these issues, for some, the prospect of facing these uncomfortable truths is more intimidating than the mental health issues themselves.
There’s a protective mechanism in avoidance, as it often feels safer not to address the root causes of one’s distress. However, eventually, using avoidance can increase difficulties, such as anxiety, rather than alleviate them (Hofman & Hay, 2018).
Lack of Trust or Negative Past Experiences
For those who have had negative experiences with healthcare providers or whose trust has been broken in other contexts, the idea of opening up to a therapist can be challenging. This can be even more notable for diverse groups, as Brooks et al. (2017) identified cultural mistrust as a key element contributing to the disparities in mental healthcare usage among different racial and ethnic groups. Additionally, if someone has previously sought help but didn’t experience the outcome they expected, they might be skeptical about support or treatment working now.
Misunderstandings
Misunderstandings about the nature of mental health treatment can significantly deter individuals from seeking help. Two common misconceptions include the sentiments that “Therapy is just about discussing my childhood and blaming my parents” or “They will put me on medication, and it will alter my personality.”
Such beliefs minimize the effectiveness of professional help, overshadowing the benefits that evidence-based treatments can provide. In reality, while some treatments might discuss childhood and some individuals need medication to provide relief, many different yet effective approaches exist to meet an individual’s needs, and it’s most important to find the “best fit” for each person.
Misinformation
The allure of quick-fix solutions, such as those found online, poses its own risks. Pursuing unverified treatments, often influenced by pop culture, leads people away from reliable scientific advice toward pseudoscientific methods.
Lack and Rousseau (2022) highlight this discrepancy between the popularity of such methods and the low adoption rates of evidence-based treatments, both from consumers and professionals. The vast and conflicting array of information available can further result in people experiencing analysis paralysis, which prevents them from making any decision to seek help.
Bridging the Gap Between Wanting and Accepting Help
This disparity between wanting to change and being willing to get help can be a significant milestone. It is one that—despite others’ encouragement and an individual’s desire to pursue treatment or support—can be daunting and even debilitating. Still, if you find yourself in this place, there are steps to take if you are hesitant to seek out help, even when you want to deep down.
1. Educate Yourself With Reliable Information.
Learning about mental health, the treatment process, and what to expect can demystify the experience and alleviate fears. Knowledge can empower you to make informed decisions about your health. Check out reputable sites that offer information about evidence-based treatments.
2. Start Small.
If the idea of starting therapy or getting help seems overwhelming, consider taking smaller steps, as starting can be the most challenging part. You can begin by committing today and taking a first step forward, which could mean starting with looking up reputable information, reading self-help books, joining a support group, or simply talking to someone you trust about your feelings.
3. Find the Right Fit.
Not every therapist, counselor, or approach to treatment will be the right fit for everyone. It’s important to find a mental health provider with whom you feel comfortable and who understands your unique needs, and it’s perfectly OK to wait until you find a provider who is the best match for you.
Many online resources allow you to read profiles about providers and, for some, even see short videos about them. Psychology Today’s Therapist Directory is one such option.
4. Focus on Your Reasons for Wanting Help.
When ambivalence strikes, remind yourself why you considered seeking help in the first place. Focusing on your goals and the things you hope to achieve or overcome can be your motivation throughout this process, even when it gets difficult.
5. Address Misconceptions and Misinformation.
If your hesitancy is based on misconceptions or misinformation about mental health treatment, addressing these directly can be helpful. Speak to professionals or individuals who have been through similar issues to gain clearer, more accurate information.
Conclusion
The journey toward mental wellness is a personal one but can be incredibly challenging, as the ambivalence of wanting but rejecting help is a common experience rooted in worry, stigma, and misunderstanding. By addressing these concerns directly and taking the first step, you can move past this uncertainty.
Remember, the journey to wellness is not often linear, and setbacks are part of the process, but each step forward is a move toward your goals and desire to be a healthier you. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
References
Brooks, R. T., & Hopkins, R. (2017). Cultural Mistrust and Health Care Utilization: The Effects of a Culturally Responsive Cognitive Intervention. Journal of Black Studies, 48 816-834. https://doi.org/10.1177/0021934717728454
Clement, S., Schauman, O., Graham, T., Maggioni, F., Evans-Lacko, S., Bezborodovs, N., Morgan, C., Rüsch, N., Brown, J. S., & Thornicroft, G. (2015). What is the impact of mental health-related stigma on help-seeking? A systematic review of quantitative and qualitative studies. Psychological Medicine, 45, 11-27. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291714000129
Hofmann S.G., & Hay A.C. (2018). Rethinking avoidance: Toward a balanced approach to avoidance in treating anxiety disorders. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 55, 14-21. doi:10.1016/j.janxdis.2018.03.004
Lack, C. W., & Rousseau, J. (2022). 11.04. Mental health, pop psychology, and the misunderstanding of clinical psychology. In G. J. G. Asmundson (Ed.), Comprehensive Clinical Psychology, Volume, 2nd edition, vol. 11 (pp. 47-62). Maryland Heights, MO, Elsevier.
