Is Your Child Being Bullied Online?

Cyberbullying in adolescence has been linked to depression, anxiety, binge drinking, substance abuse, and a variety of behavioral problems. If you’re concerned about your teen’s exposure to social media and try to limit their screen time, you’re not likely to be completely successful. If you can’t protect your kids from cyberbullying what can you do to minimize its effects?

In one study of 189,000 teens, Canadian researchers found about a fifth of them had been cyberbullied in the past year. The results showed that the frequency of cyberbullying was associated with mental health and substance use problems. The researchers also asked, “In an average week, how many days do you eat evening meals with your family (0 to 7)?” After analyzing the data they concluded that family dinners “…may help protect adolescents from the harmful consequences of cyberbullying.” This is an additional benefit of family meals. Other research shows that when families share four or five meals together each week kids eat more fruits and vegetables and have healthier eating habits.

You’re probably aware that eating together would be great, but sitting down for a family meal may be impossible with your family’s busy schedules. With soccer practice, swim lessons, band practice, etc., and parents having second jobs, how do you find a mealtime that works for everyone?

Even if you could coordinate schedules you may feel that it would be pointless to eat together because your kids don’t talk. Many parents have tried to start conversations but complain that their kids don’t respond. You shouldn’t get discouraged if your conversation goes something like this:

Parent: How was school today?

Child: Okay.

Parent: What did you do in class?

Child: Nothing.

Parent: Did you like the lunch I made for you?

Child: Yeah.

Instead of this frustrating dead-end conversation try a more specific question on a topic that’s interesting to your teen. For example, “What time do you need to be at your soccer game on Saturday?” You’re less likely to get a non-verbal grunt or a perfunctory answer, like “fine” or “okay.” You could also have a conversation with your spouse about a topic that would be interesting to your child. For example, you could talk about sports, movies, music, or for some kids, even politics. Just make sure that the conversation is positive, not too critical. At some point in the conversation, you can casually ask your child what she thinks.

Make sure that the overall tone of the conversation is positive. Mealtime isn’t the time to lecture your child about poor grades, failure to do household chores, or other unpleasant topics. Enjoy the meal with your kids; you can discuss problems at another time.

Family meals can help counteract cyberbullying and promote healthy eating. Wouldn’t it be worth making the changes necessary to have a few family meals each week? Start with a goal of establishing a family meal routine for one or two nights a week. Even if it requires changing schedules or giving up some activities, ask yourself if promoting healthy eating habits and increasing communication with your kids isn’t worth the effort.