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Spirituality
You Think You Are Right? Well, So Do I
Your way, my way, right way, wrong way
Posted March 9, 2016
“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.”
—Henry Ford
When I look around, the motto of today’s world seems to be “My way or the highway!” Rather than being curious about others’ views or really considering another’s perspective, too many people seem content to leap to a conclusion and plant themselves there happily ever after. Thinking is replaced by catchy soundbites that merely reconfirm whatever stance they’ve taken.
It’s not just the craziness of politicians screaming at each other, refusing to compromise or give even an inch to their “opponents” on the other side of the aisle. It’s not just fanatical spiritual leaders who claim that their path is the one and only path to Heaven or Jannah or enlightenment. I’m seeing people in all sorts of arenas falling into this black or white, right or wrong, “my way is the only way” kind of thinking.
We’ve got vegans swearing that meat-eaters are not only cruel and unevolved, but they’re ruining their health by chomping down those steaks. On the other side, we have adamant carnivores who claim that our bodies require meat based on our ancestors’ DNA.
Some exercise gurus promote “no pain, no gain,” while others claim that pain is not only unnecessary but actually damaging to your body. Health practitioners insist that your cure can only be found via pharmaceuticals. Or acupuncture. Or herbs. Or essential oils. Or chakra cleansing.
No matter what the topic—fashion, finances, or frappucinos—the conversation seems to be that “My way is right." Therefore, by definition, "all other ways are wrong.”
Is this true? And why does it even matter? It actually feels pretty cozy and secure to snuggle down into one belief and never have to question yourself, right? But there’s a cost for this kind of comfort.
First of all, when you swing too far in any one direction, the Shadow needs to rear itself up to balance you out. That’s why celebrity pastors who preach ferociously against the danger of the Seven Deadly Sins often end up committing at least a couple of them. That’s why politicians who swear by a narrow interpretation of “family values” are often caught in extra-marital affairs. The Shadow pops up to expose you to the side of life you insist on denying.
The other big problem with believing that your truth is the only truth is that it limits your vision and possibilities. The ancient kahuna (wise men and women) in Hawaii were able to hold two contradictory thoughts at once with no conflict. They were able to see that both sides could contain truth, validity and value. They were able to remain pono (aligned with themselves and right with the world) without vilifying one side or the other.
You’re not betraying your chosen path by opening yourself to accepting that other paths have validity. You can be a fiscal conservative and still recognize the good intentions of those who would spend more on social programs. You can be a good Christian and still appreciate the sincere spirituality of people practicing other religions. You can still prefer Western medicine for treating your illnesses without painting all alternative practitioners as quacks.
I’ve chosen Huna as my spiritual path because it resonates with who I am. Many of my students feel the same. Do I argue with people who practice yoga or Judaism? No. I’d rather learn from them. But at the end of the day, Huna is where I’ve found my spiritual home.
Though I’ve been a Master Practitioner in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) since my teens, I went after my PhD in Psychology to learn about different therapies. If I had found one that was more effective than NLP, I would have chosen to use it. But for me and my students, NLP seems to get the best results. Did I learn valuable insights from studying other forms of therapy? Heck, yes! I can respect other disciplines, learn from them and still chose the path that’s right for me.
I’ve made a similar choice in the area of fitness. I tried a zillion different exercise routines and eating plans before discovering the one that is right for me. I call it Empowerment Fit and I’ve shared it with many of my students. Do I believe in it wholeheartedly? You bet. Is it the one and only path to fitness? Absolutely not.
Many years ago, I stayed with one of my kumu ("teachers"), Uncle George Na’ope for the summer. Uncle George had a phrase above his Hula school that read: A ohe pau ko ike i kou halau. The rough English translation is, "Think not that all wisdom is in your school." I use this as a constant reminder that there are other ways of thinking, other ways of doing things, other paths to the light.
“It's worthwhile to make an effort to learn about other people and figure out what you might have in common with them. If you allow yourself to be somewhat curious - and if you get into the habit of doing that - it's the first step to being open minded and realizing that your points of view aren't totally opposite.”
-Viggo Mortensen
To your TOTAL empowerment!
Mahalo,
Dr. Matt
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Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of Integrate the Shadow, Master your Path. Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy. Get access to the 7 most powerful and effective NLP techniques on the planet here. To reach Dr. James, please join him on his Facebook page or visit his blog at www.DrMatt.com.
