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Resilience

Alleviate Summer Pressure and Enjoy the Season Your Way

Navigate the high expectations of summer with clarity and intention.

Key points

  • Constantly comparing our summer plans and experiences to others can create unnecessary stress.
  • The hidden pressure to make each summer the best can lead to crammed schedules and exhaustion.
  • To stay connected to what matters most, we can set realistic expectations and identify how we want to feel.

While summer brings the warm weather and sun-filled days that we have been awaiting, the carefree season also comes with high expectations. We are invited to unwind and let go of our worries, yet there is a tremendous amount of pressure to relax and make the most of the summer months. For many folks, summer can be more stressful than it is exciting or relaxing.

The pressure we feel to relax and live up to society’s expectations about what a productive and fun summer looks like can create a different kind of stress that undermines the very feeling many of us are hoping to achieve. These implicit expectations can become overwhelming, hindering us from experiencing authentic happiness and genuine relaxation. This pressure surrounding the summer months can also hold us back from truly enjoying the beauty of the season.

When we define what it means to unwind and enjoy summer on our own terms, we create the spaciousness to rediscover and reconnect with ourselves and with the things and people that matter most.

Here are three ideas to help you approach the summer season with gentleness and intention.

Let go of comparisons

There are always going to be outside pressures and something else we could be doing, should be doing, or ought to be doing with our time. This is especially true when we are constantly comparing our plans and experiences with those around us. While we spend time scrolling through our social media, remember that these are perfectly curated highlights rather than the whole reality. The extravagant vacations and picture-perfect posts of an idealized version of relaxation can leave us feeling like we’re not enough and that what we’re doing isn’t enough.

The reality is that everyone’s summer is going to look different, and that is okay. The constant comparison can rob us of joy in our own unique experiences. We won’t find fulfillment in tailoring our summers to the expectations of others. True fulfillment comes from aligning our actions with our values and what matters most to us.

Set realistic expectations

There’s often this hidden pressure we feel to make each summer the most memorable one yet, year after year. As a result, many of us tend to set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. We cram our calendars with travel plans, ambitious projects, and various social obligations, leaving nothing for ourselves.

Being ‘busy’ has become a normative way of living. We’re all trying to do more and be more, leaving us feeling exhausted and deprived of genuine rest. Summer is a time when we want to unload our plates (or platters), yet we know that so many of us feel this pressure to constantly be ‘productive’. Sometimes, guilt sets in as we feel we are not being productive enough. This relentless quest for relaxation can become counterproductive as it transforms into a relentless pursuit of productivity.

Consider what is practical and realistic for you and your loved ones. While there’s a shift in pace that can come with the summer months, our work and responsibilities still exist, and we need to be mindful as we add more activities to our already full lives. To alleviate some pressure, we can seek clarity around what it is that we are trying to achieve this summer; relaxation doesn’t have to be as extravagant or time-consuming as society sometimes makes it out to be.

Go for the feelings

Once we have radical clarity around what we hope to achieve this summer and how we want to show up, we can start to think of behaviors and practices that match. All too often, we pursue activities that don’t resonate with us or don’t bring us closer to how we want to be feeling.

Are you looking to feel a sense of ease, tranquility, adventure, creativity, joy, or peace? Do you want to be more present and connected? What feels restorative for you?

Once we are clear on how we want to be feeling, we can ensure that we choose actions, behaviors, and activities that align with our desired feelings as we plan our days. We can schedule time for play, adventure, and creativity. We can also find and build in moments of peace, ease, and tranquility.

Final Thoughts

We experience many pulls on our time and energy, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from the parts of our lives that matter most. When you cut out all the noise and ignore all the external pressures, what do you want your summer to feel like? How do you want to feel this summer?

References

Social comparisons: A potential mechanism linking problematic social media use with depression. J Behav Addict. 2022. J. Samra, et al.

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