On Grief, Dreams, and Remembering

In a recent dream, I sat on a marble slab near the fireplace, enjoying a small chocolate from my grandma and grandpa's candy dish. Grandma laid back in her recliner. I smiled. This place glittered with love. We talked. She told me she would always look out for me. Water slid into the living room, splashing through the house. We floated on a raft into the backroom. Toys and various gems filled the space. Always love. Always look out for each other. Always family.

My eyes dropped open. The raft became my bed, but I continued to grip it tightly. It only felt like a bed because I had drifted into a bedroom, I reasoned, for a few moments before resigning to the reality of my dream. I couldn't see my grandma anymore. Yet, I felt closer to her than I have in the five years she's been gone.

Dreams and Grief

As a therapist, my clients sometimes share with me their dreams. Many mental health clinicians believe that dreams can carry helpful insights and play a role in making sense after an emotional experience. In some cultures, dreams hold spiritual meaning.

In grief, dreams often speak both pain and joy. Early after a loss, it is we might have dreams of a loved one only to wake up and realize that they are no longer one is no longer on earth. When a death is traumatic, painful imagery might pervade one's dreams. Other times, as in my case, the visions bring love and comfort.

A study of 216 individuals who had recently lost a spouse found that dreams can play a role in healing after a loss (Black et al., 2021). The study suggested how we receive the dream can impact the difference made. In psychoanalytic traditions, cultural symbolism is utilized in dream interpretation. Yet, the meaning someone prescribes to their experience is central to dream interpretation. Dreams can be an intense, even mystical, phenomenon with varying values to different people.

Dream Journaling

I first learned about dream journaling in a class I attended through a local Jungian society as a method of remembering, discussing, and reflecting on dreams. The teacher shared that dream journaling most often involves drawn imagery because dreams are commonly visual. A written narrative can also be a part of the journal. Noting small visual details of the dream, how one feels upon waking, and the context of what is going on in someone's life at the time of a dream might also be reflected upon.

Carl Jung believed dreams were intricate to healing and growth after a loss (Olson, 2020). He saw the process as complex. Some find that dream journaling can help facilitate this.

Closing

I appreciated my visit with my grandma and am grateful for the reminder of love. I look forward to seeing her again.