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Better Living Through Snark

Chronic illness from the ashes.

Stress
...And You Will Know Us by Our Greasy Trash

Caitlin Caven on June 18, 2021

The five minutes in which you’re chewing Skittles may be the closest thing to “pleasure” you can get. Let’s not be so quick to slap them out of your sticky, multicolored hands.

The five minutes in which you’re chewing Skittles may be the closest thing to “pleasure” you can get. Let’s not be so quick to slap them out of your sticky, multicolored hands.

Cross-Cultural Psychology
Confess Your Pain, Get a Prize

Caitlin Caven on September 10, 2019

Pain is grinding, banal, and tedious. When you're in its grasp, you do weird things. If you're lucky, you'll do them in public. With an audience. Of strangers!

Pain is grinding, banal, and tedious. When you're in its grasp, you do weird things. If you're lucky, you'll do them in public. With an audience. Of strangers!

Leadership
Pain Management for the Currently Aflame

Caitlin Caven on July 30, 2019

Sure you've tried meditation, lifestyle changes, medication, and acupressure. But have you tried staring darkly into the abyss?

Sure you've tried meditation, lifestyle changes, medication, and acupressure. But have you tried staring darkly into the abyss?

Alcoholism
Beauty Tips for the Ill and Infirm

Caitlin Caven on March 4, 2019

Cosmetics allow the Walking Sick a measure of control about how the world at large perceives us; here are some pro-tips to coloring yourself back to "passable."

Cosmetics allow the Walking Sick a measure of control about how the world at large perceives us; here are some pro-tips to coloring yourself back to "passable."

Stress
Bon Voyage, Pain! See You When We Land

Caitlin Caven on February 8, 2019

You've got 47 pamphlets full of things to do, but all you can do is watch the ceiling fan. "The weather is beautiful, wish you were here!"

You've got 47 pamphlets full of things to do, but all you can do is watch the ceiling fan. "The weather is beautiful, wish you were here!"

Adolescence
All Aboard! It's A Dissociation Vacation!

Caitlin Caven on October 25, 2018

When you find yourself thrown back into the meat grinder of The Hospital, shield yourself from the bottomless sadness by making jokes. Ha ha, look! That monkey is washing a cat.

When you find yourself thrown back into the meat grinder of The Hospital, shield yourself from the bottomless sadness by making jokes. Ha ha, look! That monkey is washing a cat.

Friends
Hospital Pro-Tips

Caitlin Caven on January 8, 2018

Ten insider tips to help you visit an ER or hospital like an annoyed, blasé pro.

Ten insider tips to help you visit an ER or hospital like an annoyed, blasé pro.

Humor
Mining Comedy from Tragedy

Caitlin Caven on November 9, 2017

For the Walking Sick, dark situations provide the weirdest humor. Learn to mine comedy from tragedy, and never be bored again!

For the Walking Sick, dark situations provide the weirdest humor. Learn to mine comedy from tragedy, and never be bored again!

Self-Control
10 Easy Ways to Vanquish Your Inner Demons

Caitlin Caven on October 27, 2017

Inner demons can plague even the most hale and hearty among us. I've compiled 10 can't-miss tricks for repelling them. All it takes is a little gumption and EMS on speed-dial!

Inner demons can plague even the most hale and hearty among us. I've compiled 10 can't-miss tricks for repelling them. All it takes is a little gumption and EMS on speed-dial!

Body Image
Beauty and the Beast: A Tyler Durden Situation

Caitlin Caven on October 12, 2017

The skinny woman, the chubby girl, the frail waif, and the mood-swinging teen thank you for your invitation, but I will not be joining you for happy hour.

The skinny woman, the chubby girl, the frail waif, and the mood-swinging teen thank you for your invitation, but I will not be joining you for happy hour.

Friends
Own Your Narrative: Illness & Gluing Things to Other Things

Caitlin Caven on September 28, 2017

At some point, identifying yourself by your flaws keeps you small and scared and dispirited. You’ll eventually find yourself at a crossroads: stay broken, or get to gluing.

At some point, identifying yourself by your flaws keeps you small and scared and dispirited. You’ll eventually find yourself at a crossroads: stay broken, or get to gluing.

Grief
Befriend Your Grief and Rage (Haha, jk. They're Poison.)

Caitlin Caven on August 30, 2017

Breathe to the New Age Synth and focus your Third Eye inward, where it can touch the deep wellsprings of rage within you. Surprise! You're crying in a yoga class! Ha ha, illness.

Breathe to the New Age Synth and focus your Third Eye inward, where it can touch the deep wellsprings of rage within you. Surprise! You're crying in a yoga class! Ha ha, illness.

Career
Non-Traditional Achievement: Crushing It (kinda)

Caitlin Caven on August 3, 2017

One blog post in three years seems solid, right? ("Adjust your expectations," whispers the cheerleader in my head. "You're doing great!") I shush her. She's awful, but not wrong.

One blog post in three years seems solid, right? ("Adjust your expectations," whispers the cheerleader in my head. "You're doing great!") I shush her. She's awful, but not wrong.

Adolescence
The Myth of the Hero Doctor

Caitlin Caven on November 13, 2014

We, the viewing public, are supposed to feel good about this hot doctor helping his hot patient continue to live. I just sit and seethe.

We, the viewing public, are supposed to feel good about this hot doctor helping his hot patient continue to live. I just sit and seethe.

Fear
The All-Singing, All-Dancing Illness Pit Jamboree

Caitlin Caven on July 28, 2014

Welcome to the Illness Pit! I may not have The Answers, but I do have a tourniquet, a bag of cookies, and some Neosporin. Find yourself a comfortable rock.

Welcome to the Illness Pit! I may not have The Answers, but I do have a tourniquet, a bag of cookies, and some Neosporin. Find yourself a comfortable rock.

Denial
How Money Buffers Patients from Pain

Caitlin Caven on June 30, 2014

Where are the gift bags and perky volunteers at the public hospital? And why does the private clinic make me feel like I'm at the most depressing spa?

Where are the gift bags and perky volunteers at the public hospital? And why does the private clinic make me feel like I'm at the most depressing spa?

Forgiveness
Compassion for the Darkness

Caitlin Caven on April 24, 2014

Usually, the dark pits are only mentioned en route to some fun, Oprah-ready rebirth story. These stories are the worst.

Usually, the dark pits are only mentioned en route to some fun, Oprah-ready rebirth story. These stories are the worst.