Does My Child Have a Phobia?

A childhood fear is a normal response, while a phobia is often an exaggerated, irrational, extreme response that prevents a child from functioning normally and enjoying their childhood.

The fear associated with phobia is disproportionate to the actual danger posted by an object or situation.

For example, it’s normal to be fearful of stomach flu, but some children develop a phobia of vomiting to the point of not being able to eat in restaurants or even eat at all. Another example is a normal childhood fear of severe weather. A child who develops a phobia of severe weather is often unable to go outside or to school if they even see gray clouds.

What are some normal fears for children?

Ages 2-4: Fear of animals, fear of strangers, separation anxiety.

Ages 4-6: Fear of supernatural beings, fear of the dark, fear of animals, separation anxiety.

Ages 7-10: Fear of natural weather events, fear of parents dying or themselves dying.

Ages 10-12: Fear of not pleasing parents or teachers, fear of failing at school, fear of losing friends.

Ages 12-15: Social anxiety, fear of being embarrassed in public.

How do I know if my child has a phobia?

• Symptoms: Children’s anxiety does not always show up in the same way as adults’. Many children under the age of ten react with aggression and oppositional behavior when anxious. I’ve seen severely anxious children hit their siblings, peers, and parents, teachers. If your child only exhibits aggression/tantrums/moodiness in very specific situations, anxiety may be suspected. Older children and adolescents will react with more clear and severe anxiety, crying, and panic attacks when encountering a phobia trigger.
• Desire to escape: A child who is experiencing a phobia trigger will try to escape the situation. They will run, beg to leave, fight their way out. If they can prevent going to a place that makes them experience a phobia, they will beg not to go, invent excuses. A child with a school phobia will say their stomach hurts, head hurts, will make themselves vomit. A child with a snake phobia will refuse to go to the zoo.
• Functioning: Look for signs of whether your child’s anxiety is impacting their functioning. Can your child still play with peers, eat, sleep well? Can your child go to school, look forward to family events, get along with others? Children who have phobias are often unable to leave their home or go to certain places, can’t enjoy certain situations, and won’t approach certain places/objects. For example, a child with a phobia of insects will not go outside to play.
• Duration/development: Was your child always anxious about this object/situation or did this suddenly start? With a phobia, we can very often find the event that “activated” the phobia, whether it’s a bee sting, or a severe weather event, or a needle stick that was traumatic. We also don’t tend to worry if a child has been fearful of ghosts for a few weeks (like often happens around Halloween). We are mainly concerned about phobia that sticks around for more than six months.

Can phobias be treated?

Phobias are treated successfully by mental health professionals, usually psychologists or psychiatrists, who are trained in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, the treatment that has the most evidence for resolving phobias. Mainly, the therapy will involve gradual exposure to the feared object/situation. For a child afraid of bugs, for example, we start with talking about bugs, then looking at pictures of bugs, then drawing bugs, then playing with toy bugs, and, finally, going outside for increasing amounts of time to look at bugs. All the while, the therapists will work on helping your child relax through talking, breathing, playing while encountering bugs. Each child's treatment plan will be individualized to maximize success. You will be an active participant in your child's treatment plan.

Is there a medication I can give to my child?

There are several medication options for the severe anxiety experienced with phobias. If you are interested in learning more, speak with your pediatrician or psychiatrist who can advise on whether there is a safe medication option for your child.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.