Stressed? Applied Resiliency Can Help, But What Is It?

Well, a new semester has begun and, as an educator, I am already running behind on class preparation and grading. In my mind, I am thinking – what a great way to cap off this year… What has happened, you might ask? Tough times for our family. My oldest son experienced a divorce and moved back home. My wife’s mother, who reached the admirable age of 93, passed away less than 6 months ago. Our dog died. Budget cuts at work caused my salary to decrease. My car window stopped working.

But, of course, life is not all bad – right? Also, in the last year, my youngest son became a father, making my wife and I grandparents and, recently, he told us that we were going to become grandparents again. As a researcher, I was more productive than ever, and I am going up for promotion to Full Professor. We were able to travel to Europe, in my role as a Visiting Professor, and my wife got to teach a few extra classes in her role as a Sociology lecturer.

Winter is Coming, but Bulbs are Resilient

Source: David Whelan/flickr

What do these things have in common? To begin, we cannot neglect the fact that “good” experiences can also be stressful (suddenly, I am going to be a double grandfather!), job transitions are hard, and work-related travel can be fun but overwhelming. As I am sure you will agree, there are also often positive aspects to the negative situations in our lives, what is often called a “silver lining.” In fact, there is a growing body of research suggesting that the ability to find the positive aspects of a negative situation can help to weather such storms and is beneficial to our mental and physical health. For example, check out this project my lab conducted, in which we found that perception of a silver lining was related to better life satisfaction and, in turn, to fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, for persons with fibromyalgia. So, it does work…

Now, you might be thinking – what is positive about someone dying, or a divorce, or a broken car window? Of course, on the surface, these things are painful, sorrowful, or disruptive, or a hassle, depending on their severity. Yet, these life experiences provide a unique opportunity for reflection, and they can be catalysts for motivation and personal growth.

For example, getting behind at work prompts me to become more organized, and to better manage my time and responsibilities. A full household allows me to appreciate my family, and to spend time with family members that might have otherwise moved across the country. The death of a family member often gives us time to reflect on our own lives, to set new goals, and provides an opportunity to experience gratitude for the person’s contribution to who we have become. Same goes for the loss of a pet – we can value their unique contributions to our existence. Hopefully, you get the picture…

So, here I am in my first blog post for Psychology Today, letting you know that even an expert in positive psychology isn’t always positive. For all my knowledge of psychology, depression, and suicide prevention – I still have down days. Despite the work I have done in the field of health psychology, I still have aches and pains, I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t really follow doctor’s orders very well.

Prevail Whale - We Can Do This

Source: John LeMasney/flickr

You might be wondering, therefore, what I can possibly contribute to the wellbeing of my readers?

Just so you will know, my “day job” is working as a psychological researcher, and my work primarily focuses on the role of positive psychological principles applied towards the promotion of health and wellbeing. In other words, I spend most of my time thinking about, and researching, what makes life worth living, what makes life meaningful, how to be hopeful, and how to find the “positive in the negative.” More importantly, as a clinical psychologist and clinical scientist, I focus on how these adaptive and strength-based characteristics can be applied pragmatically to our everyday lives, and to our not-so-everyday lives, to promote health and wellbeing. I have published many papers, presented at many conferences, and even wrote several books on these topics, but none of that means anything if these principles cannot be used by all of us, every day, in whatever we are going through…

That is what I hope to do here, with you – to discuss how we can implement what I call “Applied Resiliency” to our unique lives and experiences, to survive and thrive in the best and worst of times. One of my goals is to demystify the process of well-being and do a bit of hacking of Positive Psychology principles so they can be readily applied to improve our lives. I hope to share the latest research and techniques for promoting well-being for you and your friends and family, for motivating you to be all you can be, and for surviving the tough times.

So, welcome to my blog, and thank you in advance for reading my ramblings, and for checking back often to learn more about Applied Resiliency strategies that will allow you to thrive during times of stress. In the meantime, I encourage you to try to think about the “good in the bad” and to appreciate the effort you are putting into your life – when things seem difficult, even the smallest actions can have a positive ripple effect, and we tend to overlook our own strengths. Together, we can explore what you are doing right, and what you can do to make a better future that aligns with your hopes, goals, and dreams!