Are Morals & Ethics Still Valuable for Children to Learn?

In today’s society, are we doing our children a service by teaching them ethical and moral behaviors? There are so many people who don’t have a strong moral compass who do quite well in our society. In fact, people with subjective ethics and flexible morality can become extremely successful in the eyes of the world. Often they get rich or famous and don’t always experience consequences for their questionable behaviors. It’s true that there are times when someone who does something unethical gets caught and there is societal judgment placed upon the person. However, for every person who is caught paying off someone to get their child into college, or a corrupt politician who is forced to resign, there are hundreds, if not thousands of people who succeed by selling out their integrity for what they want at the moment.

While we all like to think that people who don’t have ethics or integrity “get what’s coming to them,” it’s not always true. Who is it that we admire? Often it’s the people who have made the most money and have gained visible success or fame. Rarely does anyone ask how they got that money, or what they did to gain their success? The potential number of underhanded, seamy choices that were necessary to achieve their goals is rarely explored. We also rarely hear about people who chose not to compromise their morals and lost careers or had their lives damaged because of it.

How many corporate executives gained inside information and sidestepped the rules to make millions from the stock market? On the other side, how many whistleblowers were vilified and lost their jobs for trying to do what their ethics told them was the right thing? Sometimes people who live unethical lives go on to great success, while others who live by the rules may be penalized.

How does this relate to children’s development? The question becomes, are we harming our children’s potential for success by teaching them to have integrity and strong values? Does this actually help their lives or harm them? The bottom line is, what benefit is there to teaching children morality and ethics while they’re growing up?

I believe it all comes down to who we aspire to be as people. In truth, the downside to having a weak moral compass may have little to do with outside success. However, it may have everything to do with our sense of who we are and how we perceive ourselves. Think about a time when you did not live up to your own moral code, whether it was cheating someone or not standing up to someone else’s bad behavior. Remember how you felt? If you felt guilty, or ashamed of your actions, it most likely caused you to feel more negatively about yourself. Chances are that when you thought about the situation it caused you to wince with a bit of shame. Those actions cost you; not financially, but they take a piece of your pride and confidence in who you are. This leads us to one of the primary values of integrity in our lives. Having a strong moral compass lets us feel good about ourselves and our actions. It helps us to be proud of who we are.

This is what separates us from others in the animal kingdom. People who live their lives without integrity are often like wild animals, always in survival mode. They always have to be on alert to not be caught. They can never truly relax and trust others. That is what happens when we lose our sense of morality. After all, when someone is untrustworthy and has no consistent moral compass, they often only have transactional, surface-level relationships. This leads to a lack of true friendships which often creates a life of distrust and lack of comfort.

When we are ethical and moral, we will more likely bring into our lives people who feel the same as we do; who put a value on their integrity. It is this trust and warmth that helps create happier lives. It is the peace of mind that comes from having people in our lives that have our best interests at heart. Having moral integrity gives us the satisfaction of knowing who we are and what we stand for. And this is the difference between living a life of trust and love versus one of constant fear and anxiety.

This may be the most important reason for teaching children the importance of ethics and integrity. Whether or not it will help them become more successful to others in the world, having a clear understanding of their own value system can increase their self-esteem and confidence. It can help to keep them away from drugs and other dangers, as well as developing a clear understanding of what they want for their lives. It can lead them toward their dreams and when they reach them, to be able to truly appreciate and enjoy all that they’ve accomplished.