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Key points
- We are more likely to follow through on our goals when we develop implementation plans.
- Implementation intentions are more effective when we don’t try to plan too many things.
- Always trying to optimize our decisions can make us less happy and less satisfied with the options we choose.
It happens to the best of us. We have good intentions, but then we fail to follow through on them.
We forget. We get busy. We worry. And then we miss it. We get to the end of the summer, the end of the year, or the end of our lives, and we realize that we spent a lot of time on things we didn’t really care about and not enough time on the things that were really important to us. We want to end up with a lot of great memories, but what we actually end up with is a lot of regrets.
Here are three practical tips for avoiding regret and actually doing the things you want to do:
1. Make the right kinds of plans
Researchers have found that we’re more likely to follow through on our goals when we develop implementation intentions—plans for how to achieve our goals.
Think about what you don’t want to miss out on this week (or month or year) and develop a specific, concrete plan. Your plan should include the details of how you will carry out your goal.
- Who are you going to do it with?
- What do you need to do ahead of time to prepare?
- When are you going to do it?
- Where do you need to go?
Once you have your plan set, put it on your calendar and set a reminder. We’re more likely to follow through on things when we have them scheduled.
2. Don’t try to optimize every decision
Research has shown that constantly trying to find the best options can actually make us less happy and less satisfied with the options we choose.
How can you tell when you’re trying to optimize? Think about your expectations and how much time and energy you’ve spent trying to make your decision. Are you spending hours reading reviews and checking every available store in search of the perfect item? Are you having a hard time saying “yes” to events so you can keep your options open in case something better comes up?
If so, you might be setting yourself up for regret. If your goal is perfection, anything short of that can lead to disappointment.
Instead of striving for perfection, try following the decision-making strategy of Nobel laureate Herb Simon: Choose the first option that meets your criteria of “good enough.”
If your perfectionist tendencies make it hard to accept a “good enough” decision, make sure you are factoring in the costs of pursuing perfection. If you’re pursuing perfection because you think it will make you better off, reminding yourself that striving for perfection can make you more likely to regret your choices.
3. Be okay with missing out on some things
Sometimes we have the opposite problem. Instead of having a hard time saying “yes,” we have a hard time saying “no.” Our desire to do everything can stem from the same fear that drives our pursuit of perfection: FOMO (fear of missing out).
However, just as trying to optimize every decision can ultimately make us worse off, so can trying to do everything. Research has shown that our implementation intentions are more effective when we don’t try to plan too many things.
Once you figure out what the most important things are, let go of the rest.
And instead of focusing on what you might be losing by letting go, focus on what you’re gaining. Remind yourself that by missing out on some of the little things, you’ll be less likely to miss out on the really important things.
© Jen Zamzow, PhD
References
Parker, A. M., De Bruin, W. B., & Fischhoff, B. (2007). Maximizers versus satisficers: Decision-making styles, competence, and outcomes. Judgment and Decision making, 2(6), 342-350.
Rogers, T., Milkman, K. L., John, L. K., & Norton, M. I. (2015). Beyond good intentions: Prompting people to make plans improves follow-through on important tasks. Behavioral Science & Policy, 1(2), 33-41.
Simon, H. A. (1997). Models of bounded rationality: Empirically grounded economic reason (Vol. 3). MIT press.
Verhoeven, A. A., Adriaanse, M. A., De Ridder, D. T., De Vet, E., & Fennis, B. M. (2013). Less is more: The effect of multiple implementation intentions targeting unhealthy snacking habits. European Journal of Social Psychology, 43(5), 344-354.
