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Key points
- Failure can only be assessed through a bird's eye view of time.
- Adhere to your purpose.
- Uncertainty is a part of life, so continue to move forward.
The Winter of 2016 found me on a bus alongside a college basketball team I traveled with. I was then a college strength and conditioning coach.
Fresh off a breakup, I threw myself into my work, including traveling with the team on weekends. This chapter marked a significant shift in my life. Having recently finished my master's in exercise science, I had envisioned a salary boost, yet found myself still grappling with part-time wages in a full-time role.
From Heartbreak to Ph.D.: A Journey of Resilience
I needed a change so I applied to psychology Ph.D. programs with a focus on exercise adherence. Before that bus ride, I had received a series of rejection letters. But then, on that ride, I opened my email to find a final rejection from my dream school.
They extended an offer for a master's program, but with the recent completion of my own, the prospect didn't entice me. Disheartened, I felt like I was in for a stagnant year until I could apply again.
Amidst the disappointment, a decision emerged after a few weeks of reflection. I pivoted my focus to exercise science schools with a psychological focus. The University of Massachusetts at Boston captured my attention. Shortly after sending in preliminary information, I received an email from the department head at UMass.
Turning Setbacks into Stepping Stones
He encouraged me to formally apply, which led to a formal application and a subsequent visit to explore potential advisors. Just over six months following what felt like a final rejection on that bus ride, I was packing my life into boxes to relocate to Boston. In the span of four years, I had built a new life and had a Ph.D. diploma in my hands.
But that was just the start. In reality, this was a brief four-year hiatus from worry (although Ph.D. programs come with their own set of worries and problems). Specialized degrees carried the caveat of aligning with job markets. My girlfriend (now fiance) is a nurse in Boston, meaning this was the best place she could be. So I sought opportunities in New England.
I made it to the final rounds of interviews for a professor position three hours outside of Boston only to be rejected. Then a postdoc interview in Chicago held promise, only to slip away.
Uncertainty began to bubble up again.
In the face of setbacks, a renewed resolve emerged. Reaching out to professors in Boston yielded a postdoc position at Brandeis University through sheer determination. A chance email, sent at a low point, bore fruit when an opening emerged.
The Power of Perseverance
A year and a half later, an opportunity that resonated deeply emerged—a role as a fitness director for a medical weight loss company. It was a remote job (more time with my dog, lucky him) and the position aligned perfectly with my dissertation study but also with my mission of helping people get started and stay consistent with exercise.
I have the opportunity to help people be successful with exercise and learn about how they became successful.
So why am I writing this? The thought popped into my head at the gym, where I do my best spontaneous thinking. Six years since that rejection email I feel a sense of solid ground. Failures of the past—the rejections from academia, job hunts, and relationships—were meant to be.
One of my favorite quotes is from Abraham Lincoln. During the Civil War, he wrote to a West Point cadet:
I am older than you, have felt badly myself, and know what I tell you is true. Adhere to your purpose and you will soon feel as well as you ever did. On the contrary, if you falter, and give up, you will lose the power of keeping any resolution, and will regret it all your life.
In the face of life's challenges, only a bird's-eye view of time reveals the nature of failure, reminding us that fleeting snapshots are incomplete. Rejections are just stepping stones on the path to growth. Amidst life's twists, remember to hold onto your purpose. Uncertainty, too, shall pass.
