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Narcissism
Navigating Narcissism: Narcissism at Work
Part 2 of our series seeking a deeper understanding of narcissism.
Posted February 28, 2021 Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
Key points
- Research shows that leadership positions like managers or CEOS quite often go hand-in-hand with narcissism.
- Narcissists may frequently seek compliments or refuse to accept critique in the workplace.
- Approaching a narcissist about their shortcomings may make the situation worse, so it's best to protect oneself by contacting human resources.
Whether we are working in an office, in the community, or via Zoom, work environments can be home to an endless range of personalities—some may add a positive boost to the office atmosphere, while others quickly become the reason we may start to dread each workday.
In Part 1 of the Navigating Narcissism series, I ran through some of the basics of a narcissistic personality. Here, I am hoping to dive into a common place where we might encounter narcissistic individuals: the workplace.
How Do We See Narcissism in the Workplace?
Many of us have encountered narcissism at work, but it can sometimes be difficult to actually identify that we are working with a narcissist in the moment. We might even recognize our own reactions—frustration, exhaustion, maybe awe—before we can label somebody with narcissistic tendencies as such.
So, how exactly does narcissism show up in the workplace? What should we be on the lookout for?
While diving into the literature is an important tool in any case, sometimes the best evidence can be our own experiences, so I want to start off this conversation by sharing a few real-life stories of workplace narcissism, generously donated by friends and colleagues (pseudonym names in place for confidentiality, of course!).
Mike: "Oh, I remember this one boss I had early on at one of my first jobs out of school, he was absolutely a narcissist. It’s funny, because the firm was really successful, like, he got the job done—I always describe him as similar to Leo DiCaprio’s performance in The Wolf of Wall Street, because when you first come on, you’re like, ‘Wow, this guy really knows what he is doing.'
But the reality of it was that he needed everything to be exactly to his standards, because he was always right, so it was his way or the highway. Being on his marketing team was a nightmare; we could barely make suggestions, and if we messed something up or tried to change an idea, he talked to us like we had no idea what we were doing, just blatantly condescending. Some people thrive in that environment I think but, it really wasn’t for me."
Jennifer: "While this isn’t necessarily 'the workplace' as much as, say, an academic setting, I remember this one guy in graduate school who just needed the spotlight on him 24/7. It was a counseling program, so all of us were there to help one another and learn how to best serve our clients, but he dominated every conversation—he would speak over others, constantly brag about how well he was doing in his internship.
Even after I would bring up a question about my own clients, suddenly the discussion was about his successes again, almost like he could never possibly have had that issue if he was in my shoes.
The most frustrating part was that we tried once to bring these things up to him, and it was like we’d accused him of murder. He was so defensive that we ended up just dropping the subject altogether. It definitely made the class more challenging than it had to be."
Tina: "Actually, one of my current coworkers has so many of those behaviors, but it’s mainly that she is just constantly trying to show off just how good she is at her job. She’s one of the other consultants and she is always going out of her way to tell me about how grateful this or that client is or how much she helped someone, and at the same time, she just seems to be waiting for us to like, agree you know? Like, she will continue to bring it up until I’ve complimented her on what a great job she did after she had already told us herself."
Do any of these stories resonate?
These examples highlight just a small snapshot of what are considered narcissistic traits—grandiose view of self, intense need for validation from others, inability to take criticism, etc.—and yet they describe individuals that so many of us have dealt with in our work lives.
As discussed in Part 1 of our narcissism series, narcissism is typically characterized by an overblown view of self, a sense of entitlement or importance, and a significant need for power or praise.
In a work setting, this may look like Tina’s case, where co-workers are constantly needing compliments on their work from colleagues, or in Jennifer’s case, where someone has to dominate every discussion and refuses to accept critique from others.
Narcissistic people will engage in behaviors to maintain their beliefs—about themselves or others—so if someone at work is only ever discussing their wins, is lashing out at criticism, or is persistently asserting that they are the most competent person in the room, there is a chance that narcissism may be playing a role.
How Does the Research See Narcissism in the Workplace?
Now that we’ve heard some first-hand accounts, what does the literature have to say about how narcissism presents in the workplace?
One area of the workplace, however, has been the real target for research on narcissism; whether this is surprising to some or not, research shows that leadership positions like managers or CEOS quite often go hand in hand with narcissism.
This is because, while we often look at the way narcissistic traits negatively impact the individual or others around them, many narcissistic traits line up exactly with what many positions of leadership require.
Take a moment and consider some traits you may look for in a boss: Is confidence on your list? Would they be outgoing and ambitious, maybe charismatic? Individuals with narcissistic tendencies routinely present with these characteristics, and therefore often emerging into leadership roles.
How to Navigate Narcissism in the Workplace
It is one thing to be able to identify narcissism in the workplace, but the next question is how to deal with having to work with somebody narcissistic.
As we’ve mentioned, and as many of you have certainly seen for yourselves, working with a narcissistic person can be incredibly frustrating. Let’s talk about some ways to go about working with narcissism:
Research, Research, Research. It can be tough to differentiate when a colleague or boss simply has a big ego, or if they are considered a narcissistic personality. This difference is incredibly important and can guide your choices on how to proceed. Once you’ve identified someone in your workplace that may fit the label of narcissism, continuing to learn more about what narcissism is/is not will be a big help.
Recognize Their Perspective. If you are somebody who has been negatively impacted by narcissistic individuals, empathizing with their behavior can be extremely challenging! However, when we recognize that narcissistic behavior often has roots in low self-esteem and fear of vulnerability, it may make the comments or actions by those individuals feel less malicious or personalized.
Avoid Confrontation Whenever Possible. One of the biggest pieces of advice out there for dealing with narcissism at work is to try and avoid confronting them about their behaviors, especially in front of others.
Since we know that narcissistic people are subject to act with anger or hostility toward individuals that challenge their views of self, approaching a narcissistic person about their shortcomings may make the situation worse.
Set Boundaries for Yourself. Narcissistic people may try to work around someone’s personal boundaries or limits in order to further their goals or boost their self-esteem.
If this occurs, be firm in your boundaries—while they may react negatively, this does not change the fact that you have a right to say no and to protect yourself first.
Take It to HR. If the individual in question becomes too disruptive for you to work safely and effectively, bringing the issue to HR can be a necessary step, as opposed to trying to handle the situation yourself or struggling each day as a result.
Work-life can be stressful, especially these days, so having to work alongside an individual with a narcissistic personality can most certainly add a lot of weight to that stress. Continuing to stay informed and learning to recognize narcissism at work can hopefully help you approach these behaviors in a way that is best for you, and for others around you.
Want to know more about navigating narcissism in day-to-day life? Keep checking in here on A New Beginning for Part 3 in the narcissism series!
References
Campbell, W. K., Hoffman, B. J., Campbell, S. M., & Marchisio, G. (2011). Narcissism in organizational contexts. Human resource management review, 21(4), 268-284.
Judge, T. A., LePine, J. A., & Rich, B. L. (2006). Loving yourself abundantly: relationship of the narcissistic personality to self-and other perceptions of workplace deviance, leadership, and task and contextual performance. Journal of applied psychology, 91(4), 762.
Penney, L. M., & Spector, P. E. (2002). Narcissism and counterproductive work behavior: Do bigger egos mean bigger problems? International Journal of selection and Assessment, 10(1‐2), 126-134.
Williams, S. D., & Williams, J. R. (2017). Employee Narcissism’s Implications for Performance Management: A Review and Research Directions. Organization Management Journal, 14(4), 198-212.
Yakeley, J. (2018). Current understanding of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. BJPsych advances, 24(5), 305-315.
