Pleasure and Joy: Trusting in a Culture Opposed to Play

Personal Perspective: The absence of freedom and joy creates a psychological void. Our culture provides many opportunities for pleasure masquerading as joy.

Personal Perspective: The absence of freedom and joy creates a psychological void. Our culture provides many opportunities for pleasure masquerading as joy.

3 Reasons Why Disgust Can Become a Sexual Turn-On

Disgust is an emotion that usually leads us to avoid something, but it can sometimes be an attractor in the context of sex. There are at least 3 reasons why.

Disgust is an emotion that usually leads us to avoid something, but it can sometimes be an attractor in the context of sex. There are at least 3 reasons why.

BDSM Is Increasingly Mainstream, and It Boosts Intimacy

A recent study shows that a third of couples incorporate elements of BDSM into their lovemaking. Why? BDSM enhances relationship intimacy.

A recent study shows that a third of couples incorporate elements of BDSM into their lovemaking. Why? BDSM enhances relationship intimacy.

Neurodiversity and Relationship Variation

An exploration of why neurodiverse people might be especially interested in BDSM and forms of CNM.

An exploration of why neurodiverse people might be especially interested in BDSM and forms of CNM.

2 Lessons from BDSM That Could Improve Everyone's Sex Lives

BDSM is not about violence; it's really all about trust and vulnerability.

BDSM is not about violence; it's really all about trust and vulnerability.

The Important Intersection of Mental and Sexual Health

Many therapists are not trained in sexual health and are thus ill-equipped to help clients navigate their erotic and sexual selves. Here's how to change that.

Many therapists are not trained in sexual health and are thus ill-equipped to help clients navigate their erotic and sexual selves. Here's how to change that.

Do Erotic Interests Help Explain Sexuality?

Personal Perspective: An erotic interest is different from an erotic identity. It's perfectly acceptable to have something be an erotic interest and not an identity.

Personal Perspective: An erotic interest is different from an erotic identity. It's perfectly acceptable to have something be an erotic interest and not an identity.

Why What Follows Sex Is at Least as Important as the Sex

Sexual aftercare is essential for the sexual well-being of both you and your partner, whether you engage in BDSM play or casual, vanilla sex.

Sexual aftercare is essential for the sexual well-being of both you and your partner, whether you engage in BDSM play or casual, vanilla sex.

When Stigma Gets in the Way of Kink

People in kink communities need support and acceptance, not judgment.

People in kink communities need support and acceptance, not judgment.

Sex with a Sleeping Person: The Psychology of Somnophilia

Different people may be aroused by the idea of sex with a sleeping person for different reasons. However, it is not necessarily indicative of a proclivity toward sexual offending.

Different people may be aroused by the idea of sex with a sleeping person for different reasons. However, it is not necessarily indicative of a proclivity toward sexual offending.

Sexual Variety for Polyamorists and Kinksters

The fourth in a series on the intersections between polyamory and BDSM, this post explains the sexual interactions that polyamorists and kinksters are able to negotiate.

The fourth in a series on the intersections between polyamory and BDSM, this post explains the sexual interactions that polyamorists and kinksters are able to negotiate.

A Potentially Risky Kink? Breath Play Is Becoming More Popular

A potentially risky type of BDSM, choking, is gaining popularity with young adults. It reflects the growing popularity of BDSM and can be enjoyed safely—but be careful.

A potentially risky type of BDSM, choking, is gaining popularity with young adults. It reflects the growing popularity of BDSM and can be enjoyed safely—but be careful.

Defining Consent in BDSM and Multiple-Partner Relationships

Both polyamorous and BDSM communities place great importance on consent.

Both polyamorous and BDSM communities place great importance on consent.

3 Things Kinksters and Polyamorists Value Highly

Exploring the shared polyamorous and kinkster values of negotiation, honesty, and self knowledge.

Exploring the shared polyamorous and kinkster values of negotiation, honesty, and self knowledge.

What Polyamorists and BDSM Participants Have in Common

This first post in a series about the intersections between polyamory and BDSM explains some of their shared personal, social, and community characteristics.

This first post in a series about the intersections between polyamory and BDSM explains some of their shared personal, social, and community characteristics.

An Intersectional Approach to Kink Therapy

Which modalities can be helpful to utilize when working with kinky clients? Here's how an intersectional approach can enhance our work both in and out of the therapy room.

Which modalities can be helpful to utilize when working with kinky clients? Here's how an intersectional approach can enhance our work both in and out of the therapy room.

The Harm of 12-Step "Sex Addiction" Programs

Some people report that sex addiction treatment programs have been deeply harmful.

Some people report that sex addiction treatment programs have been deeply harmful.

Kink (at) Pride

In many ways, the BDSM community is fighting battles that the LGBT community won forty years ago. So why do we still debate their inclusion in Pride?

In many ways, the BDSM community is fighting battles that the LGBT community won forty years ago. So why do we still debate their inclusion in Pride?

The Psychology Behind Breath Play

Why would someone enjoy having their breathing restricted during sexual activity? Research highlights some possible psychological motivations behind "breath play."

Why would someone enjoy having their breathing restricted during sexual activity? Research highlights some possible psychological motivations behind "breath play."

Keeping Kink Affordable

As the world begins to reopen, folks want to (re)connect with their kinky communities. In the meantime, partners can assemble a "toy box" for as little as $20.

As the world begins to reopen, folks want to (re)connect with their kinky communities. In the meantime, partners can assemble a "toy box" for as little as $20.

An Alternative Approach to Erotic Incompatibility

Does erotic incompatibility make you feel hopeless about your sex life? Don't give up hope just yet. There may be a new approach to help.

Does erotic incompatibility make you feel hopeless about your sex life? Don't give up hope just yet. There may be a new approach to help.

What Do People Gain by Watching Porn Together?

Modern life tells us that watching sexy scenes is something we should do in secret. Has that always been true? Are there benefits to bringing others into our viewing experience?

Modern life tells us that watching sexy scenes is something we should do in secret. Has that always been true? Are there benefits to bringing others into our viewing experience?

The Meaning of Tickling

Individuals have different internal and external reactions to tickling. Meaning attribution explains the reactions and motives behind tickling.

Individuals have different internal and external reactions to tickling. Meaning attribution explains the reactions and motives behind tickling.

How Rare Are Rape and Bondage Fantasies?

Fantasies of rape and bondage are much more common than we think.

Fantasies of rape and bondage are much more common than we think.

What We Mean When We Talk About Power Exchange

BDSM dynamics look quite different depending upon who and how you're playing.

BDSM dynamics look quite different depending upon who and how you're playing.

Mixing It Up in the Bedroom

Mixed-orientation relationships are more common than you might think and contain more variety than you might expect.

Mixed-orientation relationships are more common than you might think and contain more variety than you might expect.

How Many Couples Have Actually Had "Rough Sex"?

Rough sex may be a popular fantasy, but how many enjoy it in real life?

Rough sex may be a popular fantasy, but how many enjoy it in real life?

Working with Kink: Shifting the Clinical Perspective

How can clinicians differentiate healthy kink expression and abuse? Proper kink education and a shift in clinical perspective can answer this complex question.

How can clinicians differentiate healthy kink expression and abuse? Proper kink education and a shift in clinical perspective can answer this complex question.

Are You Curious About BDSM?

If BDSM seems like something you want to experiment with, by all means, do so — in a safe, sane, and consensual manner. If it’s not for you, so be it.

If BDSM seems like something you want to experiment with, by all means, do so — in a safe, sane, and consensual manner. If it’s not for you, so be it.

Kink Education Is an Ethical Obligation

Can sex education within the mental health field truly be inclusive if it does not include kink? How education can shift the false narratives within the mental health community.

Can sex education within the mental health field truly be inclusive if it does not include kink? How education can shift the false narratives within the mental health community.