Once in a Lifetime

Q: How can we savor important but fleeting moments in our lives—like graduating or getting married? We asked Jaime Kurtz, an associate professor of psychology at James Madison University.

A: We sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to have an amazing time—couples might enjoy their wedding day more if they just roll with it. A study of people celebrating New Year’s Eve found that those who put more money and effort into making the night extraordinary actually had less fun because they monitored themselves so much. Engage in the kind of activity that takes you out of your head: On vacation, it could be scuba diving, going to a museum, or talking to new people. Lower your expectations, perhaps, so that you don’t have to try to make an experience the absolute best moment ever. And though you may be tempted to say things like “We still have so much time left” or “We’ll keep in touch” to family and friends, I have found that facing the fact that time is short can motivate you to make the most of it.