How to Return to Work

Two women sit across a table, one is smiling with hands on the table, the other holds a resume.

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My team spends a lot of time talking with professionals of all ages about their career decisions. One question we’re getting more frequently these days is, "How do I return to work?" If this sounds familiar to you, you’re not alone. Since the pandemic started, millions of people in this country have stepped out of the workforce, whether due to caretaking responsibilities, being laid off or otherwise removed from their jobs, retirement, or perhaps just needing to take a break.

Just like there are numerous reasons why someone might have left the workforce, there are plenty of reasons for wanting to return. Perhaps there has been a change of life circumstances. Perhaps children who required more around-the-clock caretaking are now in school on a regular schedule. Perhaps an additional income would help with short- and long-term finances. Whatever the reason, it is individual to the person. And it’s an important factor to consider before reentry: What will you need to meet the specific goal that is driving your return?

While the question of how to return to work usually starts from a purely transactional place—how do I find a job, how to I update my resume, and so on—I believe it’s important to go deeper than that. How, physically, emotionally, and psychologically, do you intend to return to work? What compromises might you have to make? How must your mindset change? How will you reenter this place differently or the same as you did, previously? These questions are as, if not more, important than those of organization, role, and industry, because our relationship to work is, fundamentally, about identity.

What Our Relationship to Work Says About Us

For a long time, we have associated work with identity, both for ourselves and others. We give people labels like “working professional,” “stay-at-home mom,” “blue-collar worker,” “freeloader,” and more, to put people into a box that somehow is supposed to sum up who they are as human beings. We place value judgments on the types of work that people do, the amount of time they spend doing it, and the amount of income they receive as a result. Those with higher titles and larger paychecks are somehow deemed to be more productive and of a higher class than those without.

Of course, we know that these sorts of labels and stereotypes are both false and potentially damaging and can lead to all sorts of bias. And, we have a tendency to internalize these identities as well. It used to be that being someone who “does not work outside the home” was not meant as a compliment. Of course, the pandemic has upended those notions, and for the better. But there continue to be gendered stereotypes about working dads versus working moms and the perceived value that each brings to society (Heilman, 2012; Okimoto & Heilman, 2012). Not to mention someone who does not work at all, for any number of reasons.

We have conflated who we are with what we do, and the result is a confusion of identity both for us and for work itself. As Koretz (2019) points out, when the boundaries between who we are and what we do become blurred, it’s called “enmeshment,” and can lead to burnout, unrealistic expectations, and particular challenges when one has to separate from that identity, either by choice or force.

Factors to Consider When Returning to Work

No matter your reason for leaving or returning, how and why you reenter the workplace can be as important as where you end up. Before you start to examine resume gaps and embark on a job search, consider these factors.

Who are you as a worker? Before someone else defines it for you, define yourself. Are you someone who lives to work or works to live? What does productivity mean to you? What does “good” work mean to you? These are questions of work-life balance and will ultimately impact decisions around in-person versus virtual work modalities. But they are also questions of meaning and purpose. Why do you want to work?

Where will you have to compromise? All relationships require compromise, and your relationship with work is no different. At a basic level, no matter your experience, your education, or your abilities, you’re likely never going to get everything you want in a job search. And if you’re coming off a gap, the likelihood is even less. At a deeper level, there may be things you have to give up or delay in order to get closer to your why. Only you can determine what those things are and the choices you are willing to make.

What is the story you are telling about yourself? On your resume, in a cover letter, and eventually in an interview, you need to be able to tell your story from a place of strength. Don’t give people a reason to overlook you or to dismiss you due to age, parenting status, or other factors. Give people a reason to see your unique circumstance as a strength that you will bring to their organization, the team, and the role, which other candidates will lack. Remind yourself of this story in those moments when you let self-doubt creep in. What is the story you are telling about yourself, to yourself, as a competent professional and human being?

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Adopt a mindset of humility and learning. Finally, remind yourself that work has changed and is changing by the day. There is a whole generation of employees who weren’t there five years ago. Technology is changing at a pace that none of us can keep up with. The needs that organizations are addressing today are completely different than those of yesterday. Make your identity one of someone who is willing to say, “Yes, I have skills, yes I can do this job, and yes, I am ready and willing to learn,” and you can go just about anywhere you want. Reentry may be hard, and you may have to compromise on salary, title, location, or other factors. But you should never have to compromise on who you uniquely are.