A Healthy Relationship With Time Means a Fulfilling Life

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Time is a precious resource. Sometimes it’s taken for granted, but often we feel there’s never enough of it. We often rush through our days, constantly trying to get more done in less time, leading to stress, anxiety, and burnout. Other times we get lost in activities like scrolling on our phone or playing computer games, leaving us feeling like we've wasted hours on things that aren’t important to us. Still other times we devote ourselves to activities such as our job and later regret we didn’t spend more time on other things that matter, like friends and family. Often, we feel the scarcity of time–either in the present or upon looking back–and we feel a lack of control over it.

But the truth is we have more control than we think and the issue is not the amount of time we have, but more our relationship with that time. Most of us have an adversarial relationship with time, feeling there’s never enough or we can’t catch up. But we are all capable of shifting the way we think and feel about time and the way we manage it.

Having a healthy relationship with time means: understanding how we spend our time, setting boundaries, and learning to relax and enjoy the present moment. There are concrete things we can practice to have a more healthy relationship with time:

• Be aware of how you spend your time. The first step to having a healthy relationship with time is to be aware of how we spend it. Track your time for a week or two to see where it's going. Often people find this to be an eye-opening experience. Once we know where our time is going, we can start to make changes.
• Get clear about your values and priorities. Be honest with yourself about your priorities. We all have the time–we just need to prioritize it, because the time isn’t unlimited. We choose to spend our time based on what is important to us, but many of us do this unconsciously, rather than making conscious choices. Sit down and make a list of the most important things you want to spend time on in your life. If it helps, imagine you only have a month left to live. What would you have wanted to spend that last year of your life doing? Then make a second list in order of priority. This will help you make choices in the future and feel like you have the time you need for what’s most important.
• Make adjustments and set boundaries. Once we know how we spend our time, and what we want to be spending time on, we can start to make adjustments and set boundaries. This means saying no to or canceling things that are of lesser importance and making time for the things that are. It can also mean saying no to new commitments when you're already feeling overwhelmed or that you aren’t spending enough time on the things that matter.
• Notice judgments that don’t align with your values or simply aren’t true. Oftentimes we judge things such as relaxing, having fun, or resting, as a waste of time. But many of these activities allow you to enjoy your life and recharge for everything else you do. Make sure you don’t allow these types of judgments to interfere with what you need and want.
• Don’t let things get too familiar. Most of us have experienced the feeling that time is flying by faster and faster every year. This is likely because we don’t notice things when they get familiar. It’s like driving past your neighborhood on the way home, without seeing any of it. This can be counteracted if we consciously notice things more, working to really see our surroundings as if for the first time. It can also help to break up our routines–drive a different route home. Sit at a different place at the table. Rearrange the furniture. Bring up new topics or have new experiences with people you spend a lot of time with. If we are creative, even the smallest novelties will slow time down and make us more present.
• Learn to enjoy the present moment with gratitude. One of the best ways to have a healthy relationship with time is to learn to enjoy the present moment. This means taking time to appreciate the little things in life, such as a beautiful sunset or a good conversation with friends. It also means taking time for yourself to do things you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature. Every hour we are alive is a gift, and it helps to have our attention on using it intentionally and joyfully. Try to make it a practice to savor every moment.

Source: Samantha Stein

Having a healthy relationship with time is essential for living a happy and fulfilling life. By learning to prioritize and manage our time more effectively we feel less overwhelmed, more in control, make choices based on our values, and enjoy the present moment more fully. Taking these simple steps can radically affect how you experience time and thus our lives overall.