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It has been a unique time for the world: it has been about a year since COVID-19 began circulating the globe, causing a global pandemic that has left virtually none of us unimpacted by it.
One of the universal impacts most of us are experiencing is grief. In the US, more than 524,000 families have lost a loved one, millions have become unemployed and/or lost housing. We lost our sense of normalcy, the simple gestures of shaking a hand or giving a hug, and the ability to smile at a stranger. We haven’t been able to spend time with those we love and we live in fear of a breath inhaled in the wrong place or time sending us to the hospital or, worse, to our death.
The losses we have experienced certainly vary in scope and intensity, but at minimum for most people, this pandemic has created loss. This loss, at times, has created anxiety and depression. As well, it has created what some psychologists are calling collective grief.
What causes grief? Grief is the natural response to losing something or someone who we formed feelings for. As humans, we are wired to form attachments. We form an attachment to other people, to animals, to our homes, belongings, jobs, places, and even our identity. When we lose any of those people or things we experience loss, and grief is the natural response to that loss. Grief can affect our mental health - often manifesting as depression, anxiety, anger, or sadness. It can also affect our physical health, including digestive distress, exhaustion, headaches, or even cardiac issues.
How do we wind our way through the emotional impact of the collective loss and grief we are experiencing?
The first step is to simply acknowledge the loss. Don’t compare or dismiss - this is very important. While it’s important to acknowledge there are people experiencing losses that may be more objectively devastating than ours, we cannot properly move through grief unless we fully acknowledge the loss we feel and why. While it may be true that losing a friend to COVID-19 is not on the same scale of loss as losing alone time to make art in the studio every day, they are both losses that are legitimate, felt, and grieved. Dismissing or pushing down a loss as trivial doesn’t make it go away, it only suppresses it until it emerges at a different time or in a disguised way.
After the acknowledgment, it’s important to set aside time to honor the grief, process it, and heal from it - to give space for the feelings. Professional therapy can help, as can journaling or writing out your feelings. Similarly, finding connection can also be helpful - calling someone who can relate to what you are feeling and lend a sympathetic ear.
Is there a silver lining to all of this collective grieving? Maybe. With so many people grieving together it’s possible the experience could bring us all closer to each other. We could also grow in empathy as a society - increase in our ability to feel for one another and to see our similarities not just our differences. If we can all be present with how we feel and to the feelings of those around us, we may realize that while there are many differences between us, the human experience of attachment and loss is one we all share. Perhaps we can be united in our grief, as we move forward towards a new hope.
