How to Stop Feeling Uninspired and Empty

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Do you feel stuck, empty, and mad at yourself for doing mindless things that waste time? If you are still active, enjoy some things, have not lost hope about the future, and know your life has value, you are probably not depressed. More likely, you have lost your sense of direction or purpose, leaving you feeling stagnated and bored.

Adam Grant named this state languishing where you muddle through your days as if “looking at your life through a foggy windshield.” ¹ Nothing you spend time on excites you.

Languishing has become a typical state for many people due to the social disengagement they experienced due to the pandemic restrictions and the difficulty re-engaging with social groups.² Motivation is missing. How to fill in the gaps isn’t clear.

Lifting Out of Languishing

Daniel Pink described three vital elements to feel intrinsically motivated: autonomy, mastery, and purpose.³ Presence of these three elements gives you a strong sense of independent accomplishment, the joy of personal growth, and the satisfaction of knowing your work matters to others. Although Pink’s work focused on ensuring these drivers are present in the workplace, setting goals based on the three elements of your life can help you look forward to your days and end each feeling fulfilled.

Autonomy

Autonomy is the desire to do things on your own, make your own life choices, and confidently think and act even when faced with new situations. To create a sense of autonomy, you need to have people around you who trust in your abilities. They recognize you make mistakes but know you are actively learning from missteps.

When working on your own, you need to make choices about how you want to spend your time and energy, if not every moment, every hour. Set your boundaries so you aren’t distracted.

Your choices should align with what gives you a sense of purpose. Your purpose is your north star, helping you choose what to do with your time.

Regularly check how you feel, choosing your emotional state as you work. If you start to feel anxious or bored, going for a 10-minute walk can uplift your emotions before heading back to work.⁴

Mastery

Most people want to learn and grow. They want to feel like they are improving. Although learning can be frustrating if trying to take on a new complex task, focusing on small wins can keep you from giving up. Small wins can be as simple as clearing your desk to make room for what's next, learning two new words today, showing a friend how to make the perfect smoothy, and finishing the book on your bedside table. Sometimes it is good to have a buddy to learn with, so you can support and acknowledge each other’s growth.

At the end of each day, instead of looking at what you didn’t do well, acknowledge what you accomplished.

Ask yourself these questions before you go to sleep.

When I think about how today unfolded:

1. What did I realize about my best self that I hadn’t fully recognized before?
2. How did my talents, gifts, or wisdom help shape who I am becoming?
3. What did I learn from any missteps I took? How did the lesson help me grow?

Purpose

Purpose is knowing that what you do contributes to helping others and that your life matters. This gives you a sense that your tasks are more significant than just feeding your interests. You are more likely to commit your time and take on challenges when you know how the results will matter to others. This doesn’t mean you won’t spend time reading an article about a celebrity or searching for something you want to buy, but these tasks will be minimal breaks in your purposeful day.

Donald Miller looked at his life as if he were to turn it into a movie in his book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.⁵ His story challenges readers to look at the story they are living right now.

When you think about your life story, is this the story you would like to tell others about? How would you like to change your story, so it inspires you to tell it? What is your gift to others? What changes can you make so the chapter you are now living ends well as it leads into the next chapter?

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Consider these questions when choosing the plot line you want to live into. In the story, you want to live, how are you:

1. Giving people hope or improving something that wasn’t working before?
2. Getting your sense of joy from helping others or achieving great things that make you feel proud?
3. Doing something that someone else will thank you for?

In his article, Are You Busy at Work, but Still Bored? Mark de Rond wrote that shifting your focus from “I” to “us” doesn’t require changing jobs.⁶ Elevating the desire to be of service in even small ways daily requires a change of heart and mind, not location.

Looking forward to your days is up to you. Working toward more autonomy, mastery, and purpose will make time fly while you feel good about the ride.