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Understanding the Erotic Code

The secret logic of male sexuality

Body Image
Unhung Heroes: Overcoming Small-Penis Shame

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on January 16, 2024

The idea that the size of a man’s penis indicates the extent of his masculinity is false. It’s man-shaming and reinforces toxic masculinity.

The idea that the size of a man’s penis indicates the extent of his masculinity is false. It’s man-shaming and reinforces toxic masculinity.

Marriage
Have You Negotiated Your Monogamy?

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on September 26, 2023

When I ask couples who are monogamous if they have negotiated their monogamy, they look at me with confusion. They think that question should only be for couples who are open.

When I ask couples who are monogamous if they have negotiated their monogamy, they look at me with confusion. They think that question should only be for couples who are open.

Grief
Grieving Tina Turner’s Passing

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on May 30, 2023

Disenfranchised grief is a deeply felt loss over someone or something not immediately relatable to others who minimize and downplay it.

Disenfranchised grief is a deeply felt loss over someone or something not immediately relatable to others who minimize and downplay it.

Sex
Silence of the Trans

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on April 20, 2023

It is a myth that LGBTQ people—especially drag queens, trans women, bisexuals, and gay men—are oversexed and unable to control their sexual impulses, especially around children.

It is a myth that LGBTQ people—especially drag queens, trans women, bisexuals, and gay men—are oversexed and unable to control their sexual impulses, especially around children.

Sex
The Important Intersection of Mental and Sexual Health

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on September 5, 2022

Many therapists are not trained in sexual health and are thus ill-equipped to help clients navigate their erotic and sexual selves. Here's how to change that.

Many therapists are not trained in sexual health and are thus ill-equipped to help clients navigate their erotic and sexual selves. Here's how to change that.

Sex
Gay "Sides": How Language Frees Us to be Ourselves

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on May 16, 2022

The gay male dating app, Grindr, recently added a sexual preference beyond "top," "bottom," and "vers." Here's what the new term "side" means.

The gay male dating app, Grindr, recently added a sexual preference beyond "top," "bottom," and "vers." Here's what the new term "side" means.

Pornography
The Problem With Celebrity Worship

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on March 7, 2022

The word “reality” becomes corrupted in our perception by simply labeling something, such as “reality shows,” or calling something “fake news.”

The word “reality” becomes corrupted in our perception by simply labeling something, such as “reality shows,” or calling something “fake news.”

Relationships
Going from Boy to Man with Your Father

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on June 20, 2021

On Father’s Day, not everyone celebrates. There are men who were not fathered or have strained relationships with their dad.

On Father’s Day, not everyone celebrates. There are men who were not fathered or have strained relationships with their dad.

Sex
Are Closeted Folks Fair Game Now?

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on March 19, 2021

While acceptance of us LGBTQ folks has risen, I’ve been surprised at how people who are perceived to be "closeted gays" are being attacked.

While acceptance of us LGBTQ folks has risen, I’ve been surprised at how people who are perceived to be "closeted gays" are being attacked.

Politics
The New Political 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'

Joe Kort, Ph.D. on November 2, 2020

Talking politics requires that we take off our own glasses and put on the other person’s, to try to see the world through their eyes.

Talking politics requires that we take off our own glasses and put on the other person’s, to try to see the world through their eyes.