Different Dreams, Same Conversation

In a recent dream consultation, my client Naomi wanted to understand a couple of dreams she'd just had.

In the first, her mother got on a plane, determined to fly away although she was naked. Later that same night, Naomi dreamed that her young granddaughter went to the bathroom to use the toilet but played in the sink instead.

The two dreams, apparently disconnected, both show characters who aren’t "doing what they are supposed to do," revealing Naomi’s own feeling of doing something she “wasn’t supposed to do.” However, the dreams also offered her hope for embracing her playful, adventurous inner child in making decisions.

The First Dream

“Mom is naked on a gurney, getting on a plane and saying things that don’t make sense,” Naomi told me. “She is flying to a town I’ve never heard of. I don’t understand why she is going or what her plan is, but she is determined to go. She leaves, and I chat with flight agents, but I keep forgetting the name of the city she is flying to. (My mom is 90 and suffers from chronic pain and depression. She hasn’t flown in several years.)

The Discussion

I asked, "How did you feel in this dream? How did it feel when your mom got on a plane, and you didn’t know the destination?"

Naomi responded, "I had the same feeling I often have in dreams. I feel panicked, I can’t find my way, I am lost or very late or I can’t remember something. The fact that I couldn’t retain the name of the place she was going really bothered me, but there was a part of me that was relieved she was going away."

I offered, "So you’re feeling anxiety, but also relief. Did something happen recently that made you feel anxious but relieved?"

Naomi connected. "I’m going to Hawaii for five days next week, and I had not told my mother because I didn’t want her to freak out that I was leaving. This morning, I finally told her."

I said, "Well, just that you told her explains your relief."

Naomi chimed in, "I realized that as I said it."

I had more questions. "And your relief in the dream that she was leaving: Does this point to a feeling that you’re free to relax in Hawaii?"

Nodding Naomi confirmed, "Pretty much! And just by having told her, I’m feeling more relaxed!"

I observed, "So the dream captured both telling her and also the trip you are taking! I would say your dream brought you to the point where you could tell your mom you're leaving."

Naomi agreed, "Yes. I see how the dream moved me to speak. I finally told my mom, after a month of daily stressing about it!"

She continued, "There was a second dream, after I woke up and went back to sleep. Can dreams be connected?"

I said, "Yes! The second dream can be a continuation of the same interior conversation. I’d love to hear it."

The Second Dream

“I was taking care of my two-year-old grandbaby. We were waiting for something. She said she had to go potty and went to the bathroom. When I went after her, she was playing in the sink rather than going potty. After we were back to waiting, my daughter came out and said she could send my granddaughter home sooner if I wanted because we had been waiting so long. I felt very bad that she would take her away sooner.”

I observed, "In both these dreams, someone is doing something they’re 'not supposed to do.' Mom is determined to leave, although she’s naked. In the second dream your grandchild says she wants to go potty but is playing in the sink instead.

“Here's my question. Do you give yourself permission to travel to Hawaii? Or is it something that you feel you’re not supposed to do?"

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Naomi responded, "It wasn’t easy making the decision to go, since I knew my mother would be unhappy and disapproving. Please note - I am going to be 65 this year."

I offered, "The trip to Hawaii sounds like something you want to do but typically hold yourself back from. At 65, I'd ask you, if not now, when?"

Naomi conceded, "I know. I do get away here and there, but each time it’s with a lot of guilt. ‘If not now, when?’ is what I try to tell my mom.

“I feel resentful about being held back because I do have similar medical problems as my mother, but 25 years earlier. She likes to say, 'You can travel when I am dead.' But I won’t make it to 90. I don’t want to run out of time, and I have a huge sense of adventure."

Offering some hope I said, "In your granddaughter dream, you are back to waiting, but it looks like you’re not waiting anymore.

“In the dream, your daughter says she can 'send your granddaughter sooner' because you were waiting so long. This is what you’re doing now—sending the adventurous, playful child in you away sooner rather than later!"

Naomi replied, "I see my dream conversation perfectly now. I see it and I want to live it without fear or guilt!"

I concurred. "That’s where your dream conversation took you. The dreams are giving you the power and confidence to follow your own heart."

What We Can Learn

Naomi’s experience shows how two different dreams in the same night may reveal a continuation of the same interior discussion. By examining both dreams, she followed her own progression in a decision-making process.

First, she dreamed of her mom, perhaps representing an "older,” more inflexible part of herself, ready to take the risk of traveling, even while nude and exposed. In her second dream, Naomi awakened her childlike ability to let go of what she was instructed to do and, instead, allowed herself to play.

Seen together, we can see the movement taking place in this discussion, both metaphorically and literally.