Techniques to Help You Calm Your Mind

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Worry, anxiety, depression and fear are serious systemic issues amongst the population. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America says that anxiety is the most common type of mental illness in the country. By their estimate, over 40 million Americans suffer from it.

COVID and all of the resulting concerns have made this so much worse. A Newsweek article shared the following for 2020:

“Between mid-February and mid-March, use of anti-anxiety medications increased by 34.1 percent, according to a report that pharmacy benefit management company Express Scripts released on Thursday. The report found that use of benzodiazepine anti-anxiety medications peaked on the week ending March 15, spiking by almost 18 percent.”

Even with a vaccine, the effects from the pandemic do not appear to be going away anytime soon. Along with the fear of illness can come the fear of job loss, financial hardships, relationship concerns, and other negative conditions. There is no way to control what’s happening to you, so it is important to learn how to take steps to control your reaction to what’s happening to you. Medication may be necessary for some people, and this article does not dispute the importance of seeing your doctor and heeding their advice in serious situations. Oftentimes you can also find ways to calm yourself and take steps so that the anxiety, depression, and fear you encounter is subdued, if even for a bit.

Life is ever-changing and even when COVID goes away, there will be fear or worry to replace it. Even when you have the job, or the money, or the beautiful home, you might start to worry about how and when you could lose it all. Conditions themselves don’t create your anxiety; your reaction to them is what hurts you.

There are a number of techniques, many from hypnotherapy concepts, that can help you without drugs. They can be done at any time and in most places (although most are not recommended while you are driving). Start to institute a practice throughout your day whereby you choose to calm yourself several times. The more you do this, the easier it will become, even in the midst of real trouble and turmoil.

1. Find a comfortable and safe place free of distractions. For some working parents this can be very difficult – so consider sitting in the bathroom to do this, or if your children are safe and it is warm enough, sit in your car outside! When implementing a calming practice, you have to be creative and find places and ways to give yourself the time and space you need. Once you are comfortable, sit with your eyes open and begin to breathe deeply. Take a deep breath in, hold it for a count of two to three seconds, and then let it out. You should breathe in through your nose, and let it out through your mouth. Do this three times and on the third exhale, close your eyes. When you begin this practice, just start by breathing in and out with your eyes closed and focus on calming your mind and your body. Be aware of when your mind wants to race or your body wants to jump up to do something. Just sit and enjoy the breath. Do this for just two to three minutes at the start. Try and find opportunities to do this two to three times a day if possible.
2. Once you have mastered breathing and spending time sitting calmly and quietly, add in a mantra or positive saying that can ease your mind. You could say, “I am calm, I am confident, I am in control.” Say this over and over again until you start to experience it as real. If you won’t believe these words, then start with something more simple, like “I feel my breath calming me” or “I am calm, I am free of concern at this moment.” Again, this won’t solve all of your problems, but it can calm you in the moment to allow you to center and consider what you will do next.
3. When you are going about your day, choose to stop and center yourself. For example, you are running out to the car because you are late to pick up your child. Instead of rushing to jump in and take off, stand at the car door for just 10-20 seconds and deliberately breathe deeply to calm yourself. It won’t matter to your end arrival time, but it will calm you enough to center before you get in your car to drive. You can breathe deeply while you drive, too – just keep your eyes open as you do it and focus on the road.
4. Take a few times throughout the day to become aware of your body and your posture. Check-in with yourself. Are you tense? Slumping? Teeth gritted or hands clenched? Do a body scan several times throughout the day and be aware of how and what your body is doing. Choose to roll your shoulders if you are able, or stretch or make circles with your wrists or ankles. Even small, simple movements can release the tension.
5. If you are able to do so, get outside. Even on the coldest day, and even if all you do is stand on your door stoop or your front step, if it is a safe place and you are able to do so, consider closing your eyes and breathing in the air. Engage in a mantra for the outdoors; “I breathe out tension, fear, and concern, and I breathe in calm and healing air.” Again, do only what is safe for your environment.
6. Watch your self-talk. Self-talk builds upon itself and when it is negative, it can take on a life of its own. As you notice yourself becoming more agitated, or worried, or moving more quickly, become aware of what your mind is telling you. If your mind is saying, “It won’t work, it can’t be done, I’ll never get there…” determine to stop. And interrupt those thoughts by saying the word “stop” out loud. Tell the thoughts, “This isn’t your home, you need to leave,” and then replace them with something more calming and more objective: “I can choose to slow down. I can work on one thing at a time. I have the ability to make changes.” Determine the right words for your situation and have them at the ready so you can bring them out when you need them.

Your mind is a powerful tool, and it can often seem to be working against you. Recognize the power you have and can harness, and take steps to utilize this power and stop being subject to the whims of the world. Terrible problems and negativity won’t go away, they are functions of life at times, but your ability to handle them and know what to do and how to do it will be enhanced and strengthened each time you choose on your own behalf to do something to stay calm and manage what you can.