Stop Categorizing People to Make a Point

Source: Sri Nur Handini/Dreamstime

It can be enjoyable to read the extreme categorizations people make on social media, if you can stay objective and understand the misguided attempts to put everyone in a box of whatever sort and keep them there: “Conservatives!” “Liberals!” “Right-wingers!” “Left-wingers!” “Traditional values!” “Open-minded approaches to lifestyles!” The people who want to categorize do so because it helps them to believe they are right. If you are of whatever alternative persuasion to the one I espouse, you must be the problem! I get to be superior in my knowledge and approach, because you just don’t get it.

Instead of getting snared in the net of “I’m this group and therefore I am better,” or “You are that group and therefore you are stupid and bad,” consider whether you have ever had the experience of believing something about a group of people and then have met one person from that group who broke the mold and approached something differently.

You might reject this concept—that’s just one person, right? They were an outlier, a different breed, not really of that particular group. Maybe they were hiding out and never really bought into the beliefs and concepts. Every time there is an exception there is no rule.

Would you be surprised to learn there are “conservatives” who care deeply about the environment and are vegetarians, too? Would you be shocked to learn there are fiscal “liberals” who care about budgets and spending? Can you imagine there are “right-wingers” who think it’s OK to choose whatever partner you might fall in love with? Can you embrace the concept that there are “left-wingers” who believe in education and training so that everything isn’t a handout?

If you spend time talking to people, instead of trying to put them in a box, you will find this is more about the exception than the rule. In fact, Gallup studies show that the actual “leaning” in the USA is to independence, and not to align with any political party at all. So, how can you put someone in a box when there isn’t actually a box that defines who they are, how they think, and what they might choose to do?

Recognize that your need to categorize someone, or define them in a way because they have a certain belief, whatever it may be, is really your need to feel yourself superior and smarter and more “in the know” than whomever the other party may be. The more you talk generalities, the less you are talking about what’s real. The more you box someone in and assign them a label, the less willing you are to listen to another point of view or even learn where someone is coming from in their viewpoint.

The truth is that there is a sameness that runs through almost everyone you can interact with in one way or another. The human experience is the same in some connected way. The more you put someone “over there” and believe them to be in totality different from you, the more you will lose your ability to see their humanness, their pain, their joys, and their connection to humanity.

When you discount people because of a label, and believe them to be so different from you that there is no common ground, you lose your humanity. You separate yourself from others and are willing to discard them as if they did not matter at all. This can lead to disastrous consequences.

Labels are by definition judgments. You are either with me, or against me. My friend or my foe. In it or not in it. If I label you, it makes it easier for me to know my enemies and discount what they say.

Become aware of this and watch how it unfolds. If you categorize people without really knowing who they are, you miss out on the richness that every relationship can offer. You lose your perspective on what’s real and what’s not. You believe only those things that align with your “box” and your group’s point of view. You become enamored with the beliefs, missing out on what those beliefs connect back to and why you cared about them in the first place.

Instead of aligning against “them,” try understanding them. Try learning about their perspective and finding the common ground to connect on. Every person has something they can teach you—start to look to learn and understand, not to discard and discourage. You will open your world up to a much broader and interesting view. And importantly, you won’t embarrass yourself on social media by showing that you need to boost yourself up by tearing down others.