13 Keys to Safe, Healthy, and Positive Sexting

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Sexting refers to sending sexual text messages often involving nude or suggestive photos or videos. Sexting can occur in various age groups but is most common among digitally savvy, young adults.

Sexting is often utilized as a means of flirting, strengthening romantic connections, managing long-distance relationships, experimenting with fantasies, exploring intimacy, and pursuing someone sexually without the risks of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

Before You Hit Send

• Don’t sext with someone you don’t trust.
• Make sure your sexting partner is of consenting, legal age.
• Don’t sext without consent.
• Keep your sexts to yourself. Don’t share with others.
• Have clear boundaries and open communication about what is acceptable and what is not.
• Have clear rules about the exchanged images. Will they be saved securely, kept on a device, or deleted?
• Stick to the agreements you make.
• Remember what works now may change in the future, so continuously evaluate your and your partner's needs and boundaries.
• Avoid sending images that make you easily identifiable, such as scars, tattoos, birthmarks, etc.
• Consider apps that are designed to send images in the most secure way.
• Turn off location tracking on your device and avoid any information that identifies your surroundings.
• Remember social media sites have facial recognition algorithms and may tag you in any images that show your face.
• Avoid sexting when you are unable to follow the guidelines above. An easy rule is to avoid sexting when under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Rules of Sexting

Check with yourself: First, assess your own comfort level and your boundaries.

Consent: Just like in any other sexual encounter, consent is the number one rule. Ask for permission before you sext.

Set ground rules: It is crucial to have open communication and set clear boundaries before and after sexting. Talk about specifics of what is acceptable and what isn’t to ensure that you are on the same page as your sexting partner. For instance, you might agree to delete images from your device, or send pictures but not videos.

Open communication: Discuss boundaries, which are always subject to change. Remember that people are entitled to change their minds. Make sure to check in with your partner regularly to ensure that you're both still comfortable with the agreements. If not, discuss with your partner and make any necessary adjustments.

Risks of Sexting

Sexting does not come without risks, and if not practiced safely it could adversely affect employment and romantic partnerships, cause legal issues, and negatively impact custody battles.

Sexting involving minors could lead to severe legal charges. Also, sexting someone without the other person’s consent qualifies as sexual harassment and can have significant legal consequences.

Explicit images or videos might be shared or sold without your consent or used in illegal activities. Your images can be shared on social media or used as a form of blackmail. For example, images can be used with the threat of showing it to an employer or significant partner. Your sexts might also accidentally leak to an unintended third party.

Sexting can lead to cyberbullying. Someone can impersonate you and send harassing messages to others, share your images without consent on social media, or use your images in porn sites, blogs, or inappropriate email lists.

Safety Measures

If you receive unwanted sexts from someone you know, the first thing to do is to express your discomfort with their correspondence and set clear boundaries with them.

If it isn’t someone you know or you don’t feel comfortable confronting them, it is important to ask for help. It is a good measure to collect evidence of inappropriate sexting. Reach out to a trusted loved one for support. Block the person and report them to the service or app or an authority figure such as a parent, teacher, human resources, helpline, or the police.

In conclusion, sexting between consenting partners is acceptable and can increase intimacy and connection. But it's important to set ground rules and take necessary safety precautions to engage in healthy sexting.

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