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Mindfulness
Mindfulness as a Tool for Cultivating Compassion and Body-Acceptance
How to cultivate compassion through mindfulness practice
Posted November 18, 2009
In my last blog, I suggested that those who suffer from body image and eating problems need to find ways to move from a spirituality steeped in judgment to one based in compassion. But how do we find the bravery we need to let go of the right-and-wrong mode of thinking that gives us a false sense of security and covers the psychic wounds that need healing? How do we transform the habit of escaping our pain and problems by fantasizing about food and thinness?
Practicing mindfulness can be a helpful tool in making this shift.
Mindfulness is the energy of being fully aware of what is happening in the present moment—both within and around you. To be mindful is to recognize and observe (without judgment) what’s going on in your body, your feelings, your thoughts, and your surroundings in this very moment. To practice mindfulness is to practice returning to this awareness again and again when your attention drifts or gets caught up in conditioned mental habits and behaviors.
The beauty of this simple practice is not only that it’s non-sectarian (i.e, it doesn’t require you to subscribe to any particular set of beliefs), but also that it can be done any time, anywhere. One can practice being mindful while driving to work, chopping vegetables, writing a poem, washing the dishes, making an important business deal, eating dinner. It’s not a matter of what you are doing but how you are doing it, namely, with undivided attention and awareness of your experience in the present moment.
The practice is particularly helpful when you are experiencing some kind of pain, edginess, urge, or insecurity. Instead of running away from these or other unpleasant feelings, you can practice being mindful of them—practice staying present to them—by noticing them without judgment. In fact, you can practice accepting them and staying internally aware of them until they dissolve, which will eventually happen. That is the beauty of life’s impermanence.
Practicing mindfulness can be particularly helpful if you struggle with body image and eating problems because:
1. It helps you develop an inner life by teaching you how to observe what’s happening with your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations – without judgment
2. It shifts your attention away from your appearance towards how your body feels from the inside. To be aware of the present moment you must be present in your body.
3. It helps you recognize mental and behavioral habits and how you’ve been conditioned to think, feel, and act in response to various stimuli. This recognition opens the possibility for making more conscious, deliberate choices with regards to your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
4. Learning to recognize internal thoughts and feelings—instead of being carried away by them (or running away from or clinging to them)—creates new habits that counteract the unhelpful escapist coping strategies that an eating disorder embodies.
5. Mindfulness practice teaches the value of having a spiritual practice—a reliable method for transforming pain and returning to your deepest values where you can find the strength and courage you need to heal.
6. Mindfulness practice is just that—a practice. It is not about doing it “right” or striving for perfection. Like healing itself, it is a process of retraining yourself and your energy to stay more focused on the present reality—on what is—rather than pouring energy into how you wish things would be.
In order to build your ability to stay present in the midst of uncomfortable thoughts and/or feelings, practicing mindfulness in a more formal way can be very helpful. One of the most common ways to do this is to sit quietly and “watch” (i.e., observe) your breathing. Simply slowing down and noticing your breath as it enters and leaves your body has a very calming effect.
To do this, it is helpful to sit (either on a chair’s edge or a cushion) with your back is straight and your shoulders relaxed, so that your belly expands like a balloon when you breath in (this is the most calming, nourishing way to breath). Simply pay attention to your in-breath and out-breath. Some people find it helpful to silently count their breaths (i.e., “breathing in, breathing out, 1; breathing in, breathing out, 2” etc.). Whether or not you use this technique, simply and non-judgmentally return your attention to your breathing whenever you notice that your mind has wandered and gotten caught up in thinking.
You don’t need to wait for more formal training to try this simple practice. I recommend starting with 5 or 10 minutes daily and building up to 20 or 30 minutes if you can. Setting aside a specific time each day for formal practice is a powerful way to increase your ability to be with—and ultimately transform—the suffering that your eating and body image problems mask.
Whether formal or informal, when practiced regularly mindfulness fosters a sense of inner peace and compassion that can help you accept both your physical body and your emotional distress—without needing to judge or change them. By creating the habit of returning to the present moment, the simple act of conscious breathing can also help you learn to pause when you feel the urge to run away from your pain, whether by judging yourself or by starving or overeating.
The more we practice staying present in the moment, the more our ability to stay present to suffering will increase. This is the key to transformation. It is how we can experience the serenity we were looking for in the first place.
