How to Acknowledge Disagreements in an Argument

Let's talk about something that pretty much every couple deals with — arguments. Yes, they're part of being in a relationship. So here's a little something to help you navigate those tough and emotional moments.

When things get tense, it's easy to get all caught up in defending our own stance, right? We want to be heard, and we want to be right. But it's crucial to also listen and understand where your partner is coming from.

Instead of jumping straight into making your case, take a moment to validate your partner's feelings and thoughts.

For instance, let’s take a classic holiday debate. You want to go visit the family and your partner wants to stay home, either alone or with you. Before you advocate for your plan to visit family, try acknowledging WHY your partner doesn’t want to go. Maybe they are exhausted from work, maybe the last time you visited family it caused a quarrel, or maybe your partner is angry at you for something else and this is their way of getting back at you. No matter the reason, really try to see things from their perspective and acknowledge it verbally.

Say out loud to your partner what you’ve just heard from them before you voice your disagreement.

Let’s take another example. Finances are often a heated theme in a relationship. It’s a subject that raises a lot of emotions and thus might prevent rational communication. You might want to save up more money than your partner does — they may want to spend money on their hobbies or buy some expensive gadget or a one-time trip. Even though your initial reaction might be to protect your interest, do repeat why your partner wants to make the purchase.

Maybe they want something luxurious to feel they are worthy of it, or maybe their reality is so stressful that the more money they spend away from it, the more rest it gives them. Their reasons for justifying the purchase might be different from yours, and it’s okay to agree to disagree. In any case, you will have to resolve it in a dialogue, and acknowledging your partner’s argument can be the first step in doing that.

The same goes in the other direction — you can ask your partner if they understood your reasons for wanting something and you can even ask them to repeat them to you. It is not to be done as conditioning but as a clarification that you are on the same page and understand one another correctly.

This little shift can make a huge difference in communication within a relationship. It shows that you care about what your partner thinks and feels and that you’ve heard them and heard correctly, even if you don't see eye to eye. I would say that acknowledging a partner’s reasoning is the first step before challenging and countering it in the argument.

By taking the time to truly hear each other out and repeat what you’ve heard, you're creating a space for open, honest communication. This kind of approach can help you avoid those hurtful arguments that can linger and damage your bond.

So next time you find yourselves in a disagreement, try to acknowledge and understand your partner’s side, and then share yours. Relationships are all about building a long-term bridge through understanding and respect. Acknowledging your partner’s point of view can be a game changer for fostering empathy and building a stronger connection in your relationship.