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As the warmer months approach, temperatures demand that we wear less. If we have not seen a treadmill since the end of last summer, bathing suits, tank tops, and shorts can induce panic. There are those of you who can eat as much as you like and exercise as little as you want, and you will always be svelte and cellulite free. I am not talking to you. I am talking to the women who put their bodies, minds, and emotions through hell to reach the body ideal. The ideal of which I speak is the one we have had since thin was in.
If you consider the past one hundred years of fashion, its history was punctuated with three major "thin" ideals in the 20s, 60s, and 90s with flapper girls, Twiggy, and Kate Moss. I was part of the unfortunate generation who entered adolescence during the heroin chic Kate era. I specifically remember my first boyfriend, gem that he was, telling me that he would "call me Kate until I looked like her." I really cannot recall a time since then that pin thin, or slight variations of it, wasn't the way I was told subtly or outright, that I should look.
Preference for body types come to us in phases like skirt length trends or trouser leg widths, but the impact these body ideals have on us have far greater consequences then what comes down the runway. When we are told what is in or out of style, we may feel the need to spend more money, seek out a tailor, or purge our closet. If we are told that our bodies are not "in" the changes that we attempt to make may include external alterations, such as increased exercise, decreased food intake, and increased body scanning and scrutinizing, but the change does not stop there. Being dissatisfied with the state of your wardrobe can be difficult, but being unhappy with your body can be devastating on not only your physical state, but emotional and mental states. Body dissatisfaction can lead to decreased mood, increased anxiety, social isolation, low self-esteem, and loss of control. When the average size of an American woman is 14 and the average size of the "ideal" woman has been one seventh of this amount, image the millions of women who feel that the body they have is not the right one!
As I encounter women young and old, personally or professionally, I have thankfully noticed a subtle shift. The women who we are now told are beautiful are changing our understanding of what is desirable...and I am not talking about the token "curvy" woman that the media uses to prove to its consumers that times have changed. Whether or not you agree with their lifestyle choices or question whether their assets are God giving is not important, Kim Kardashian and Sophia Vergara have laughed in the face of the ideal. What do these women have in common? Inches and pounds that we have not seen in quite some time.
Could these women, with their round back sides, ample bosoms, soft bellies, and sinew free arms be the hope for us? Could they carry the desire to be accepted regardless of our dress size on their backs? Only time will tell, but we still hope. In the meantime, what can we learn from these voluptuous beauties? For one thing, body shame should have no room in our mind space. The only thoughts worth having should include the confidence we have in our bodies. Second, be sure to rock what you got. Both Kim and Sophia unabashedly strut in bikinis and bandage dresses. They enjoy presenting their hour glass figures to the world. Third, ignore the negative. When the paparazzi follow you wherever you go, a "bad" picture is sure to surface. Both Sophia and Kim have been captured without makeup, in bad light, and on off days, but does that stop them from wearing what they want when they want, absolutely not. Fourth, remove the guilt and enjoy. If you've ever read any information about or seen any media of either Kim or Sophia they candidly talk about enjoying eating a good meal and disliking exercise. It is what it is and nothing more, how refreshing. Fifth, your culture, specifically your country of origin, determines what body type is an ideal one. In this country Kim and Sophia are considered curvy, in others they are considered normal if not too thin. So, in essence, the characteristic of the perfect body are all relative to the environment. If this ideal changes depending on location, the ideal is a cultural construct and an actual ideal does not exist.
We can spend our time looking at the skinny socialites, coveting their thin frames. We may even look at the Sophia and Kim and wish that we filled out are jeans that way. The sixth and final lesson we can learn from these women is that nothing is better than looking like you. Even if you really don't believe this, try to talk, walk, and dress as if you do. So the next time you feel your thighs jiggle or your backside bounce, resist the urge to lament what God gave you, and thank Him for making you all woman!
See Dr. B's interview in self.com!
