Demystifying the Triangle of All Human Behavior

My mentor, EG Orren, once told me that all human behavior is based on the triangle.

• We seek pleasure.
• We avoid pain.
• We strive to conserve energy.

I found this simplification of human behavior both entertaining and mystifying.

Considering human behavior, we know finding pleasure can quickly distract us from meeting our goals

A dieter who has set a goal of losing 20 pounds may not be able to resist eating a delicious hot fudge sundae because of the glorious pleasure of each bite of creamy ice cream mixed with thick, rich, warm, hot fudge and topped with crunchy walnuts and fluffy, whipped cream, which satisfies a sweet-tooth craving.

Seeking pleasure prompts us to binge-watch a new Netflix series when the characters and plot, coupled with superb acting and directing, provide stimulating entertainment. When we see the credits roll, we cannot help but click that icon reading "next episode." Even though we know other tasks also require our attention.

The other leg of this triangle—avoid pain—is a much easier choice

Physical pain keeps us on the couch when an initial run brings soreness to our thighs, knees, and ankles. The dieter’s goal to be more active can be immediately subverted.

The pain of self-doubt and self-deprecation from not achieving goals may be the root cause of why our best-laid plans go awry and ultimately become abandoned.

The dieter’s cycle of feeling bad because of society's standards finds temporary solace in that ooey-gooey ice cream sundae.

The foundation for conserving energy underlies all behavior and motivates us to just stay still

Save your energy because just around the corner lies the mother of all challenges, for which you must be prepared by saving all of your strength to do battle.

How, then, does one make a change?

How does the dieter adopt a modified mindset conducive to a healthier diet and a higher activity level and commit to a lifelong change?

Artists/creatives/makers must also learn and exercise a shift in their mindset if they have goals to, for example, do more art

How can the triangle of human behavior provide a workable framework to support the wannabe novelist, ceramicist, or carpenter who desires to transition from avocation to vocation?

First, consider the pleasure points of doing art.

What makes the artist happy or brings them joy? What part of the art-making process satisfies their sweet tooth? What motivated them to pick up a hunk of clay or paintbrush or a song sheet or open a Word document with an inkling to participate in this artmaking?

The question sounds simple, but the answer is complicated for every maker.

Next, what are the pain points for an artist?

This question, too, may be tricky to answer.

My experience as a writer—putting words down—is fun, joyful, and therefore a pleasure point.

Sending the same "words" to editors or publishers when the most common reaction is “not right for our list” hurts. And if something hurts, that's pain.

To avoid pain, I avoid submitting my work even when the ultimate pleasure is seeing my novels in a bookstore window with a well-known publishing house’s name, address, and logo on the copyright page.

For the creative, seeking pleasure and avoiding pain is not dissimilar to the human behavior of the would-be dieter. Stick to that which brings pleasure (the actual writing process of spitting out words, sentences, paragraphs, and chapters) and avoid that which can cause pain (the rejection letter).

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Suppose all human behavior desires to conserve energy. How can the artist/creative/maker muster the guts and willpower to persevere and exert the power necessary to progress?

Carol Dweck first researched and wrote about growth mindset over 30 years ago.

Dweck noted that when children are praised for their effort and not their innate intellect, they learn to appreciate and use critiques and build on their failures, willing to push on to discover solutions.

The triangle of human behavior, with its foundation to conserve energy, needs a little kick in its proverbial pants

Effort, not conservation, leads to progress and change.

Let's look again at the writer’s dilemma when they seek pleasure from putting down words. Still, they avoid the pain of criticism by choosing not to submit their work for review and possible publication.

How can they reward their own effort?

A growth mindset shift for the writer must be understanding that no rejection ever has a connection to the author’s persona.

An agent's rejection or a publisher's form letter is not a statement of, “You're a stupid writer." Instead, like Edison’s thousands of lightbulbs, the author has learned of one publisher, one slush-pile reader, that aligns differently from this one work.

The successful dieter learns that it takes effort to resist the pleasure of eating an entire hot fudge sundae. From my experience, little bites also satisfy my sweet tooth without the house of cards effect of falling off the diet wagon completely.

The dieter who learns to accept a little pain from the discomfort and soreness of adopting a new exercise routine also takes effort.

Indeed, the artist/creative/maker who finds joy and pleasure from the effort to do art will also benefit from art making.

Try this:

• Determine the point of gatekeeping that currently blocks your progress.
• List three measurable steps you can take to overcome this barrier.
• Your current status does not reflect who you are as an artist but where you are on the artist’s journey.
• Reward your effort in first determining the barrier and then determining the steps to break through the barrier.
• Avoid the labels of bad or good "artist," and replace those with labels that describe your effort.
• Seek the pleasure derived from the process, and you will avoid the pain inherent in not doing it.

Reward your own effort and reward your art

Go get a hot fudge sundae and celebrate your effort to not conserve energy. You've got this.