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Article by Ryan Anderson
When we choose a romantic partner, we generally assumed that we do so independently, and come to a decision by ourselves. But this view has been challenged in the last three decades.
Among non-humans, there is a multitude of evidence suggesting that decisions about with whom one mates can often be made non-independently (1). There is also an emerging body of evidence indicating that humans also make non-independent mate choices (2).
Mate copying is a broad term that describes individuals choosing a romantic partner based on information provided by others. Generally this information comes in the form of an implicit "endorsement." Consider a single woman walking into a bar and seeing two men—one standing by himself in the corner; the other with his arm around an attractive woman, presumably his girlfriend. Which man is she going to think more highly of as a prospective partner—the loner in the corner or the guy with qualities that have enabled him to get a girlfriend? These qualities may be traits like pro-sociality, kindness, a sense of humor, a luxury yacht, or anything else that might be desirable to a woman. But the point is that whatever he has would presumably carry over into a new romantic relationship—with the single woman observing him.
There is a pervasive human tendency to judge the value of something by how in demand it is. A man who has a partner must be (or must have been at some point) in demand.
This "wedding ring effect" refers to the idea that men wearing a wedding ring will, all else being equal, tend to be more romantically desirable to women than men who are not wearing a wedding ring. The reasoning is pretty simple: A man who is married is broadcasting, "Look at me: Someone thinks I’m good enough to marry, so maybe I’ve got some things going for me." People in general tend to like people who have things going for them. (An unmarried man, on the other hand, might have a number of positive traits but maybe just isn’t considered marriage material.)
The wedding ring effect has been examined by researchers a number of times. Some authors have found married men to be more romantically desirable to women than single men (3), while others have in fact discovered the opposite (4). It has been suggested that in socially monogamous societies, almost all males can be expected to romantically align (pair up) with a female at some point in their life (5). As such, being married ort engaged might not be that impressive. It may then be that the mate quality of one’s romantic partner is more important than whether or not they actually have one.
Because physical attractiveness remains an important cue for female mate-value (6), the quality of a man’s female partner is evaluated by others to a large extent by how physically attractive she is. Due to the phenomenon of positive assortative mating —the idea that people similar on dimensions, such as romantic desirability, tend to pair up—this can have a bearing on a man’s own mate-value. A number of studies have demonstrated that mate-copying effects are stronger when the female partner of a man is physically attractive than when she is perceived as less attractive than her partner, or unattractive (7).
Further, it has recently been suggested that in addition to physical attractiveness, mate copying may also be driven by character attractiveness (8). A study in the U.K. found that mate copying only occurred when the model female (the alleged partner of the man) was smiling at the target male (9). Women preferred a man more if he was being smiled at by other women than if the other women were looking at him with a neutral expression.
In simple terms:
- Women tend to be drawn to men who appear to be liked by other attractive women.
- Men who are seen with a desirable woman are looked upon favorably.
- Men who are looked upon favorably by a woman are seen as desirable.
Men who are seeking for a girlfriend might be well-advised to keep the company of attractive women. . .
