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I’ve been procrastinating on writing this post for weeks. Why? Because I know exactly what advice I want to give—but I don’t know how to take it myself.
If you don’t live under a rock in a cave in the middle of a forest under another rock, you’ve been drawn into the drama that has been unfolding on a national and international level since the U.S. presidential election in November.
For those who, like I am, are upset by the actions of those now in power, life very suddenly got a lot busier. I’ve spoken with many writers and artists who already struggle to balance day jobs, creative work, family and other relationships, and everything else; now they’ve added to their plate making phone calls, writing letters, attending protests, rallies, marches, and community organizing events, and more.
It’s not just their time that’s sapped, though; it’s their spirits. Less than two weeks into the new administration, everyone’s ready for a nap. People are worn out and frazzled, overwhelmed by the amount of information being thrown at them, fried from feeling like every moment is a crisis.
The buzzword going around this week is “self-care.” Many have declared that what we need is to slow down, to pace ourselves. We are told that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. We are told to focus, to be proactive rather than reactive. To choose our battles. To remember that we are not responsible for every single thing.
My impulse is to offer advice about how to do that—how to find the right balance, how to channel that place of inner peace we all possess and use it to get through the hairiest of days. It’s what I help the authors I edit and the clients I coach do all the time. But right now, I’ll freely admit I’m struggling to find that balance and peace myself. I, too, am feeling spread too thin, easily manipulated by social media, distracted from my work and physically drained from standing and marching in the cold for hours, multiple days a week.
How can I offer advice about something that I haven’t found control over in my own life?
Here are a few actions I’m taking in the pursuit of balance and “self-care.” Consider this list a work in progress and add your own tips in the comments. I’d love to hear what’s working for you. I don’t practice all of these every day, and they don’t always work, but they are helping.
- Consume social media sparingly. It’s easy to get panicked by the bombardment of voices on social media, so for now, I’ve withdrawn from it and only spend a total of perhaps 10 min on it a day, max.
- Check a trusted news source. Often, social media or blog posts that friends link to contain inflammatory statements, speculation, or even misinformation, as we’ve all become keenly aware. When I see something upsetting, I check The New York Times, the Guardian, and/or NPR for verification right away.
- Take time, even if it’s just a few minutes a day, to be alone. So much of the work right now—whether it’s going to crowded rallies or meetings—is social, including the time we spend online. So it’s important to spend a little time away from others (and that includes your phone and computer) to be alone with ourselves and hear ourselves think—and feel whatever feelings we might not be comfortable sharing more publicly.
- Allow yourself small pleasures. Be aware of the little things that can bring some joy to your day and let yourself have them, whatever they might be—a cookie, an extra couple minutes in the shower, wearing your favorite sweater, petting a cute dog you see on your way home.
- Share your feelings with a friend. Unburden yourself. Or be a friend who listens and helps relieve someone else of the emotional burdens they’re carrying. Or both.
- Give yourself permission to not do every single thing. This applies to activism—acknowledging you simply cannot (and need not) make it to every single rally or gathering—as well as everything else. Some emails may go unanswered for a while. Not every task can be completed right away. As long as no lives are endangered by your negligence, it will sort itself out. You have great value and you are probably not essential.
- Spend time in nature. Remember that the trees, the rocks, and the grass have been here a long time. They were here before all this happened, and barring the worst-case scenario, they’ll be here after all this is over. They’ve seen humans do unspeakable things to one another and they’ve borne witness to the incredible acts of sacrifice and kindness humans are capable of, too. They see it all, and they go on. And so will we.
