The Everyday Unconscious

Trauma

5 Reasons Why It May Be Hard to Seek Support After Trauma

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on May 28, 2023

In the aftermath of trauma, survivors may need extra support. Yet they often feel disconnected from those around them, even loved ones.

In the aftermath of trauma, survivors may need extra support. Yet they often feel disconnected from those around them, even loved ones.

Trauma

The Real Reason We Self-Sabotage (and How to Stop)

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on March 14, 2023

What we now call "self-sabotage" could very well be motivated by unconscious goals and adaptations that saved our lives in the past.

What we now call "self-sabotage" could very well be motivated by unconscious goals and adaptations that saved our lives in the past.

Attachment

5 Communication Tweaks That Increase Intimacy

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on March 6, 2023

“Working on our communication” is one of the main reasons couples seek counseling. Try these low-risk, high-reward behaviors to improve your relationship.

“Working on our communication” is one of the main reasons couples seek counseling. Try these low-risk, high-reward behaviors to improve your relationship.

Memory

How the Minds of Long-Term Couples Connect

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on February 6, 2023

Over time, long-term couples develop a joint memory system, which facilitates their access to shared knowledge.

Over time, long-term couples develop a joint memory system, which facilitates their access to shared knowledge.

Unconscious

4 Tips for Developing New Habits that Actually Work

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on December 25, 2022

The automatic nature of some behaviors saves us time, yet it can make new learning difficult. Learn how to hack your unconscious to help you form the new habits that you want.

The automatic nature of some behaviors saves us time, yet it can make new learning difficult. Learn how to hack your unconscious to help you form the new habits that you want.

Relationships

4 Behaviors That Undermine Intimacy in a Relationship

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on December 20, 2022

Are you inadvertently sabotaging your intimacy? Here are four behaviors to watch out for.

Are you inadvertently sabotaging your intimacy? Here are four behaviors to watch out for.

Stress

The Great Exhaustion: Long-Lasting Pandemic Effects

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on November 28, 2022

If you are feeling exhausted, and you are not quite sure why, you are not alone.

If you are feeling exhausted, and you are not quite sure why, you are not alone.

Unconscious

How to Uproot Unconscious Bias and Xenophobia

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on March 28, 2021

The road to uprooting harmful biases and achieving equality for all is long and thorny, requiring non-defensive self-awareness and unyielding conscious effort.

The road to uprooting harmful biases and achieving equality for all is long and thorny, requiring non-defensive self-awareness and unyielding conscious effort.

Unconscious

How We Discuss Crime Victims Betrays Deep Unconscious Biases

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on March 26, 2021

A series of heinous hate crimes in Atlanta, GA, sparked a national conversation about the cultural roots of xenophobia. However, it also has deep unconscious roots.

A series of heinous hate crimes in Atlanta, GA, sparked a national conversation about the cultural roots of xenophobia. However, it also has deep unconscious roots.

Anxiety

4 Tips for Consciously Un-Quarantining

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on March 20, 2021

In a world with constantly changing rules, continuous re-adaptation is taxing for mental health. Strategies for "conscious un-quarantining" can help.

In a world with constantly changing rules, continuous re-adaptation is taxing for mental health. Strategies for "conscious un-quarantining" can help.

Burnout

Burned Out? Frustrated Unconscious Motives May Be at Fault

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on December 13, 2020

In the race to identify causes of burnout, unconscious motivation may be a little-known but powerful factor.

In the race to identify causes of burnout, unconscious motivation may be a little-known but powerful factor.

Motivation

Power, Achievement, Intimacy: Tap Thy Unconscious Motivation

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on December 8, 2020

There are two distinct and separate motivational systems, explicit and implicit. They do not always align and we are surprisingly bad at knowing that.

There are two distinct and separate motivational systems, explicit and implicit. They do not always align and we are surprisingly bad at knowing that.

Burnout

4 Signs of Burnout as a (Mental) Health Professional

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on December 6, 2020

Demands for mental health treatment have skyrocketed since the onset of the pandemic. For clinicians, the ability to recognize the signs of their own burnout is becoming increasingly important.

Demands for mental health treatment have skyrocketed since the onset of the pandemic. For clinicians, the ability to recognize the signs of their own burnout is becoming increasingly important.

Unconscious

The Dark Side of Nostalgia

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on September 26, 2020

The difference between helpful and harmful nostalgia is the difference between positive reminiscing versus renouncing the present for the sake of an idealized past.

The difference between helpful and harmful nostalgia is the difference between positive reminiscing versus renouncing the present for the sake of an idealized past.

Loneliness

Why Nostalgia? The Amazing Power of Reminiscing

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on September 3, 2020

We may be wired to automatically and unconsciously reach for nostalgia when stressed and lonely.

We may be wired to automatically and unconsciously reach for nostalgia when stressed and lonely.

Anxiety

2 Simple Steps to Stop the Worry Domino Effect

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on August 8, 2020

Worry is a constant companion and triggers are everywhere, but a simple two-step strategy, if practiced regularly, can do wonders to stop your worry dominoes.

Worry is a constant companion and triggers are everywhere, but a simple two-step strategy, if practiced regularly, can do wonders to stop your worry dominoes.

Unconscious

Planning Fatigue Is Real and Here's Why You're Feeling It

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on June 19, 2020

Our minds, over centuries of evolution, have worked hard to simplify our existence by automatizing functioning. During a pandemic, we are forced to overthink again.

Our minds, over centuries of evolution, have worked hard to simplify our existence by automatizing functioning. During a pandemic, we are forced to overthink again.

Health

Should Therapists Have a Therapist? Yes, Now More Than Ever

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on May 24, 2020

Increased need, exposure to trauma, and values may compromise therapists’ own mental health and ability to seek help during the pandemic.

Increased need, exposure to trauma, and values may compromise therapists’ own mental health and ability to seek help during the pandemic.

Health

For Health Workers, COVID-19 Can Be a Moral Injury Pandemic

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on April 13, 2020

In the aftermath of COVID-19, our health care workers will need support and healing more than ever. Here is what we need to know about moral injury and what we can do to help.

In the aftermath of COVID-19, our health care workers will need support and healing more than ever. Here is what we need to know about moral injury and what we can do to help.

Bias

Racism Is Alive and Well: Is Prejudice Unconscious?

Valentina Stoycheva Ph.D. on March 10, 2020

Many are unconsciously using a health crisis as an excuse to diminish, humiliate, and aggress against other human beings. Here's what we can do about it.

Many are unconsciously using a health crisis as an excuse to diminish, humiliate, and aggress against other human beings. Here's what we can do about it.