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Key points
- Our interpretations are what lead us to feel scared, happy, angry, or excited.
- That excitement as a kid can morph over the years into anxiety as an adult.
- Feelings triggered by a bad memory may indicate you have some unfinished business.
You have a hard time breathing
Can’t seem to catch your breath
You feel the icy grip on your heart and chest
Your heart is pounding
You have knots in your stomach
Multiple choice question: What’s happening?
A – The person you’re falling in love with just walked into the room.
B – You’re having an anxiety attack.
C – You’ve been sorely mistreated and you’re enraged.
D – You just won the Mega Billions lottery.
Answer: Any of the above
Our bodies only have so many ways of experiencing emotions.
How would you feel if you won the lottery? Maybe heart pounding, muscles tense, stomach doing flips, sweating? So excited and happy!
How would you feel before stepping on the stage to give an important talk to a large audience? Maybe heart pounding, muscles tense, stomach doing flips, sweating? Nervous!
How would you feel when the person you have a big crush on comes up to you? Maybe heart pounding, muscles tense, stomach doing flips, sweating? Falling in love!
Strong emotions trigger the same physical sensations, but our interpretations lead to feeling scared, happy, angry, or excited. Children can’t sleep the night before they go to Disney World because they’re so excited. Their parents can’t sleep before the same trip because they’re anxious about how much it will cost, not to mention how everyone will get out the door on time. That excitement as a kid can morph over the years into anxiety as an adult. Fortunately, there are things we can do about it, including cognitive behavior therapy.
Strong emotions can be a cue for us to check in with ourselves. If we know what’s going on and what causes them, that’s great. If we’re not sure why we’re feeling so anxious or sad, for example, these feelings in our bodies and labeling the emotion can help us figure out what’s going on. We don't try to squash the emotions, but we sit with them, accept them, and learn from them. Trace them back to the origin. When did they start? What happened before? What thoughts are we having? Once we discover what triggered them, ensure they’re accurate and helpful. If they are not accurate and helpful, it’s important to avoid believing everything you think.
Feelings triggered by a bad memory may indicate you have some unfinished business. Avoiding the memory lets it fester and continue to haunt us. You probably need to process what happened emotionally.
Copyright Barbara O. Rothbaum, Ph.D.
References
These skills are further described in Making Meaning of Difficult Experiences: A Self-Guided Program.
