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Targeted Parenting

Breaking the cycles that almost broke us, parenting through and with trauma.

Maybe it isn't - spank or spoil. That's a false dichotomy! Maybe responsive parents can also be responsible, using research-verified techniques to teach kids self-regulation, self-control, and how to be productive citizens of families, peer groups, and classrooms. What if there's a better way?
Punishment
Alternatives to Spanking for Cycle-Breaking Parents

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on January 24, 2024

Discipline is often presented as spank or spoil. Cycle-breakers, rejoice! There are better ways to teach kids self-control that don't include spanking. Here are 3 more.

Discipline is often presented as spank or spoil. Cycle-breakers, rejoice! There are better ways to teach kids self-control that don't include spanking. Here are 3 more.

To spank or not to spank? It's sometimes presented as "spank- or spoil". But there are actually much better options - research based - for teaching kids self-control. No spanking required! Here are 5 tried-and-true alternatives - better choices - for helping kids learn self-regulation and self-control. Post-Traumatic and Cycle Breaking Parents - rejoice! You do have effective options.
Punishment
5 Alternatives to Spanking for Cycle-Breaking Parents

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on January 17, 2024

Research demonstrates that spanking impairs neurodevelopment. Cycle-breaking parents ask—what else can I do? These 5 research-based alternatives are more effective than spanking.

Research demonstrates that spanking impairs neurodevelopment. Cycle-breaking parents ask—what else can I do? These 5 research-based alternatives are more effective than spanking.

Is #eggchallenge really a parenting practice we want to encourage? What happens when we trade our children's trust in us for some social media glory? Is this a risk we want to take?
Parenting
A TikTok Parenting Trend to Avoid

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on August 25, 2023

TikTok's #eggcrackchallenge seems like a joke. Understand how attunement, attachment, and the stress response work together by analyzing what this trend does to a child's brain.

TikTok's #eggcrackchallenge seems like a joke. Understand how attunement, attachment, and the stress response work together by analyzing what this trend does to a child's brain.

Here's your permission to go "off book." In parenting, the actual words of the script don't matter - despite us often feeling that they do. Instead, it's about 'implicit scripts' and attunment. It's not Shakespeare. It's parenting!
Parenting
Hate Parenting Scripts But Can't Look Away? Here's Why

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on August 1, 2023

Post-traumatic parents tend to focus on explicit parenting scripts, but these are not as helpful as they seem. Instead, learn implicit parenting scripts to improve attunement.

Post-traumatic parents tend to focus on explicit parenting scripts, but these are not as helpful as they seem. Instead, learn implicit parenting scripts to improve attunement.

Reading to children is even more powerful than we previously believed, according to new research.
Stress
"My Kid Is Stressed!" An Rx for Stress Without Side Effects

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on September 2, 2021

We've always known reading to kids is beneficial. New research demonstrates the mechanisms by which it lowers stress. This has some major implications for parenting all kids.

We've always known reading to kids is beneficial. New research demonstrates the mechanisms by which it lowers stress. This has some major implications for parenting all kids.

Fear
'My Kid Won't Go Back to School!': These 4 Letters Are Why

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on April 6, 2021

Is FOGO the newest childhood mental health crisis? If your child develops FOGO, or fear of going out, there are four simple steps to take to help overcome it.

Is FOGO the newest childhood mental health crisis? If your child develops FOGO, or fear of going out, there are four simple steps to take to help overcome it.

Parenting
Do Masks Impair Children's Social and Emotional Development?

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on January 19, 2021

Worried masks will interfere with your kid's social development? Pandemic parenting is stressful without this concern. New research shows masks don't mess with kid's face-reading.

Worried masks will interfere with your kid's social development? Pandemic parenting is stressful without this concern. New research shows masks don't mess with kid's face-reading.

Finally, a divorce method Mr. Rogers would approve of. A guide to the truly child-centered divorce.
Divorce
Book Review: The Parent's Guide to Birdnesting

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on December 31, 2020

Does the child-centered divorce truly exist? This comprehensive guide explains how to set up a Birdnesting agreement, a truly child-centered approach to divorce.

Does the child-centered divorce truly exist? This comprehensive guide explains how to set up a Birdnesting agreement, a truly child-centered approach to divorce.

Parenting
2-Letter Words You Need In Your Parenting Plan Right Now

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on December 28, 2020

Pandemic parenting at the end of 2020 is a recipe for burnout. Parenting is tough. Pandemic parenting—practically impossible. Here are some simple 2-letter words that can help.

Pandemic parenting at the end of 2020 is a recipe for burnout. Parenting is tough. Pandemic parenting—practically impossible. Here are some simple 2-letter words that can help.

Parenting
The 3-Letter Words Child Psychologists Love

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on October 11, 2020

Pandemic parenting can wear us all down. Here are some child psychologist-approved 3-letter words that can help your parenting, prevent parental burnout, and teach kids resilience.

Pandemic parenting can wear us all down. Here are some child psychologist-approved 3-letter words that can help your parenting, prevent parental burnout, and teach kids resilience.

OCD
The Four-Letter Word Child Psychologists Hate

Robyn Koslowitz Ph.D. on September 29, 2020

Parenting a child who is in therapy? Does the "alphabet soup" of diagnoses seem scary? Here's the number one word to never, ever use with your child.

Parenting a child who is in therapy? Does the "alphabet soup" of diagnoses seem scary? Here's the number one word to never, ever use with your child.