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Social media has evolved into a platform where individuals share not only their happiest moments but also their deepest struggles. While some of these struggles are genuine, a recent trend labeled "sadfishing" refers to the act of exaggerating or falsifying one’s emotional problems for attention and sympathy.
For example, someone might post, “I can’t believe how much I’m struggling right now. Nothing ever seems to go right for me,” accompanied by a sad selfie and a crying emoji, without providing specific details. This can prompt followers to offer sympathy and support, even if the poster intends to garner attention rather than genuine support.
Why Do People Go Sadfishing Online?
A 2023 study published in the journal BMC Psychology found that adolescents who were anxious and depressed, displaying attention-seeking behavior, and perceived a lack of social support were more likely to engage in sadfishing.
Researchers also found that during adolescence, boys tend to engage in sadfishing more frequently, but this inclination tends to decrease as they grow older. On the other hand, for girls, the tendency to sadfish actually increases with age.
Another recent study reveals four “symptoms” associated with sadfishing:
- Denial as a coping mechanism. Denial is a defense mechanism where individuals avoid facing painful feelings or events. Students in denial may not address their true emotional issues and instead turn to social media for exaggerated emotional expression, seeking validation and sympathy. This temporary escape doesn’t help manage emotions or resolve underlying issues.
- Intoxication. When individuals are under the influence of alcohol, their inhibitions are lowered, and their judgment may be impaired. This can lead to impulsive and emotionally motivated posts on social media, aimed at receiving reciprocal attention and sympathetic responses.
- Attention-seeking behavior related to personality disorder. The study found that students with histrionic personality disorder traits were more prone to sadfishing, as they sought excessive attention and validation, feeling uncomfortable when not in the spotlight.
- Anxious attachment. Sadfishing can also be the result of an anxious attachment style, according to research, characterized by a high need for approval and fear of rejection.
Seeking attention when one is distressed is quite normal—everyone wants to feel noticed, loved and cared for.
Sadfishing, however, is the act of manipulating others’ emotions for personal gain. While people naturally feel empathy and are inclined to offer help when they come across such posts, discovering that the person was exaggerating or even feigning sadness can leave them feeling deceived and vulnerable.
This can lead to a breakdown of trust and create a sense of apathy towards future pleas for help, as people remember the previous manipulation. Instead of fostering genuine connections, sadfishing creates a divide of distrust and emotional detachment for similar posts online.
How to Recognize Sadfishing
It can be challenging to accurately discern the authenticity or level of distress in a post. While some individuals may exaggerate their emotions to seek attention, it is equally possible that they are genuinely reaching out for support, connection or to alleviate their loneliness.
If you find a friend or someone you know posting such content, there are additional signs you can look for to determine if they truly need your help:
- Recurring posts about feelings. They are regularly posting about their struggle with poor mental health or feeling isolated, or saying things like “life is too difficult” or “it’s better to stay alone than get hurt.”
- They have a context. Recent distressing events or trauma—like a breakup or domestic upheaval—may trigger emotionally charged posts on social media. A prolonged sadfishing habit, however, is accompanied by emotional and contextual ambiguity.
- They have been withdrawing for some time. You notice them by themselves more often; it can feel like they are pushing people away or isolating themselves from people around them, stirring helplessness.
- They are not in good health. They have been constantly tired and fatigued, sleeping poorly or absent due to poor health, which could be a sign of accumulated stress and prolonged mental health issues.
Since it’s difficult to distinguish sadfishing posts from genuine cries for help, it may be best to take them seriously and respond with kindness and empathy, especially if you know the person closely. Rather than speculating or leaving sympathy comments, you may try calling or texting the poster and establish direct contact—or better yet, ask them to meet them in person.
While sympathy is more about acknowledging and expressing concern, empathy involves a deeper emotional connection and shared experience that says, “I know what you are going through, and I am here to help.”
A version of this post also appears on Forbes.com.
