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Shame

Toward authentic self-esteem

Embarrassment
Humility vs. Shame

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on August 26, 2021

Absolute certainty that we know the truth prevents us from learning and makes it impossible to have genuine conversations with other people who might be as confused as we are.

Absolute certainty that we know the truth prevents us from learning and makes it impossible to have genuine conversations with other people who might be as confused as we are.

Coronavirus Disease 2019
Comparing Virus Apples to Lockdown Oranges

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on May 4, 2020

We find it hard enough to balance like-kind risks, but a cost-benefit analysis of savings lives vs. economic devastation requires that we compare apples with oranges.

We find it hard enough to balance like-kind risks, but a cost-benefit analysis of savings lives vs. economic devastation requires that we compare apples with oranges.

Politics
Why Liberals Should Oppose the Lockdown

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on April 27, 2020

The problem with authoritarian governments, even ones you like, is that they don't restrict their actions to ones of which you approve.

The problem with authoritarian governments, even ones you like, is that they don't restrict their actions to ones of which you approve.

Relationships
The New Math for Narcissists

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on April 19, 2019

Narcissists describe all relations between between two people in terms of who is larger than whom, always placing themselves on the most favorable side of the equation.

Narcissists describe all relations between between two people in terms of who is larger than whom, always placing themselves on the most favorable side of the equation.

Anger
Free-Floating Rage

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on March 10, 2019

Christopher Lasch long ago identified a pervasive "culture of narcissism." American culture today instead displays features more characteristic of borderline personality disorder.

Christopher Lasch long ago identified a pervasive "culture of narcissism." American culture today instead displays features more characteristic of borderline personality disorder.

Narcissism
The Joys of Indignation

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on February 5, 2019

While self-righteous indignation is one of the primary narcissistic defenses against shame, it also helps many of us who aren't absolute narcissists feel better about ourselves.

While self-righteous indignation is one of the primary narcissistic defenses against shame, it also helps many of us who aren't absolute narcissists feel better about ourselves.

Embarrassment
Why We Feel Shame Around the Holidays

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on December 13, 2018

Many of us feel depressed at this time of year because our experience doesn't resemble the "Happy Holidays!" image projected by social messaging.

Many of us feel depressed at this time of year because our experience doesn't resemble the "Happy Holidays!" image projected by social messaging.

Embarrassment
The Shame Wars

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on June 29, 2018

The shame war between the Right and the Left is poisoning us all. How can we stop it?

The shame war between the Right and the Left is poisoning us all. How can we stop it?

Embarrassment
No Shame in Adult Comfort Dolls

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on June 12, 2018

The use of adult comfort dolls is more common than you think, even if we tend to hide them in the closet when friends come to call.

The use of adult comfort dolls is more common than you think, even if we tend to hide them in the closet when friends come to call.

President Donald Trump
Shame Management and the Trump Supporter

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on November 13, 2016

Many white working class voters who feel likes "losers" supported Trump because he promised to restore middle-class jobs that provided a sense of "basic human dignity."

Many white working class voters who feel likes "losers" supported Trump because he promised to restore middle-class jobs that provided a sense of "basic human dignity."

Embarrassment
The Risks of Joy

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on September 20, 2016

The potential experience of joy threatens the emergence of shame and must be avoided at all costs. Heavy defenses against shame thus limit the opportunity to experience joy in life

The potential experience of joy threatens the emergence of shame and must be avoided at all costs. Heavy defenses against shame thus limit the opportunity to experience joy in life

Embarrassment
Terrorism, the Sociopath, and Shame

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on June 17, 2016

A bully and a domestic abuser, Omar Mateen was likely driven by a personal sense of core shame, confused with the perceived humiliation of Muslims at the hands of the West.

A bully and a domestic abuser, Omar Mateen was likely driven by a personal sense of core shame, confused with the perceived humiliation of Muslims at the hands of the West.

Embarrassment
Shame, Celebrity, and the Oregon Shooter

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on October 12, 2015

Until we as a society can wean ourselves from celebrity worship, the Golden Age of Narcissism will continue making the most disadvantaged and disturbed among us feel like social "losers," desperate for some way to escape from shame and achieve a fleeting "winner" status.

Until we as a society can wean ourselves from celebrity worship, the Golden Age of Narcissism will continue making the most disadvantaged and disturbed among us feel like social "losers," desperate for some way to escape from shame and achieve a fleeting "winner" status.

Narcissism
Why Narcissism, Greed, and Power Go Hand in Hand

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on October 5, 2015

Modern-day America has been characterized as both a New Gilded Age and a culture of narcissism. It is no coincidence that these two critiques have arisen at the same time.

Modern-day America has been characterized as both a New Gilded Age and a culture of narcissism. It is no coincidence that these two critiques have arisen at the same time.